People who live in the world are inevitably verbal communication. Some people speak very nicely and get along like spring breeze; some people speak very uncomfortable, and chatting with them is a torment.
Compared with people who speak uncomfortable, some people are even more hateful because their words are no longer making you uncomfortable, but hurting you directly and rudely.
is clearly saying something that hurts you, but still under the banner of doing good for you. It is really sad. On the surface, he is for your own good, but it is likely that he will stimulate you just to achieve your own goals. But he hopes that you can do what you can't do. Whether in love or in life, if someone says these two things to you, then there is no need to doubt that the other party is hurting you. No matter how good your relationship is, you must have a number.
From a psychology perspective, they do not think that their behavior is hurting you, but rather think that it is for your own good.
1. Often say good things for you
Some people are obviously just standing from their own perspective, but under the banner of doing good things for you, as if what they do is not for themselves, but for you.
My friend Daqin met such a friend. On the surface, the other party seemed to be doing everything for Daqin. He stood from her perspective. At first, Daqin was quite moved and felt that she had found a good friend.
But later Daqin found out that this was not the case. Her friend seemed to be considering the problem from her own perspective. She likes to judge the problem with her own cognition. As long as she thinks that what is right is right, it is good according to her, otherwise it is bad.
For example, Daqin found a boyfriend, who was tall and handsome. Judging from the appearance alone, Daqin is indeed a bit unworthy of the other party, but their relationship is very good, and it is time to talk about marriage.
Once, Daqin had a meal with a friend. When she said she was going to get married, her friend directly advised her to give up this relationship. After her friend finished speaking, Daqin asked why?
friend said, "Do you still need to ask why? It's obvious that you two are not compatible. Your relationship seems to be okay now, but there will be problems sooner or later. It's better to have short pain than long pain."
Daqin said that she believed in this relationship and would keep going with the other party. Seeing Daqin's attitude, the friend said angrily: "You really don't give up. I'm not Yellow River . I'm all for your own good. Don't regret it when you encounter something." The friend's words made Daqin angry directly. Daqin said that she would not blame others and advised her not to worry.
Some people are like this. They seem to really understand a lot, as if they are really for your own good, but this is all based on their own values and their own thoughts. Besides, feelings are their own business and have nothing to do with others, so why do you have to listen?
People should have their own judgment ability when they live. If the other party always says it is for your own good but does something that hurts you, then you must stay away from such people, otherwise it will be too late to be together to make things difficult for yourself.
2. Knife mouth, beans, heart-warming words
I believe that in life you have met such friends. They speak without restraint and do not consider your feelings at all. They will regard some of your scandals as topics of conversation. If you don’t take it seriously, then they will continue.
If you take it seriously, then he will say that you are exaggerating, say that you are a stingy mouth and betray your heart, and blame you for being too serious.
My friend Lingling is such a person. She always says that she is so stingy and makes us not mind, but it is fake that she doesn't mind at all. She always feels uncomfortable in her heart.
For example, when we had a meal together, she started the joke mode, either this one was too fat or the other was too short, either this one had spots on her face or her figure was too poor.
In short, in her eyes, we don’t have a good person. Because we were very familiar with each other, we almost didn't want to care about it, but later a new friend Lingling came, and the two started arguing.
This new friend is a little fat. He ate a little too much when eating. We didn't say anything. Lingling said to the other party: "You are so fat, but you dare not eat like this. If you eat like this, don't talk about your figure. Maybe you will die of yourself one day."
After Lingling finished speaking, we were all stunned. I didn't expect she would say such things. This fat friend was stunned for a few seconds. She didn't expect that she would say such things for the first time.
She said to Lingling angrily: "What does it matter to you if I eat to death or not? You don't need to wear mourning."
When she finished speaking, Lingling was furious. She even cried, saying that she was just a knife-like mouth and a slander. It's not for her good words. It's just that she doesn't appreciate it. Why should she speak so viciously?
Actually, I quite understand the other party because no one can accept what Lingling said.
To be honest, such people are really hateful. They always like to joke with others. They obviously make a profit, but they still suffer losses. Yes, it is really hard to embrace happiness with them.
In the days ahead, I hope we can meet friends who are truly good for us. If they can’t accept their words, then stay away from them decisively. Only in this way can your life be better.
