One morning in my sophomore year, I thought we were getting angry as usual.
I sent him a message and I said:
"I'm angry with you. If you always do this, why don't we break up."
He replied:
"Yes, then break up."
Seeing the message, I panicked, as if I suddenly lost my center of gravity and went toward a certain abyss.
I quickly called his phone and said with a little complaint:
"I just say something angry, you don't coax others."
has been silent for a long time.
I realized that he was serious this time.
He hung up the phone and sent a long message:
Xiaoyu, it was not because of today's incident that I said I had broken up. I had this idea for a long time, but I just didn't know how to speak...
I don't accept it, angry, questioned, and pursued him relentlessly...
It's like a drowning person who wants to grab the last straw. I never tire of calling him over and over again.
From the beginning of his patient explanation to the later verbal words, he couldn't wake up the self-deceiving myself.
I tried my best to save this relationship, but I still couldn't save it. Until many years later, I have had a lot of love and finally understood one thing.
If I could love each other less at the beginning, maybe our relationship would last longer.
We started dating in high school, and we were in the same class. It can be said that except for bedtime, everyone is in the same space.
So I am used to seeing him all the time and sharing my mood with him every minute and every second.
and even when we went to college, although we were not in the same university, I am still used to this way of getting along.
When you have delicious food, you should tell him as soon as possible; when you encounter something fun, you should share it with him as soon as possible; when you are sad, you should get his comfort as soon as possible.
I was immersed in my love rhythm and neglected the transformation of time and space.
We study different courses in different schools and have different schedules.
My moment sharing cannot get his moment response, which has become the main reason for the quarrel between us.
I don’t think he cares about me as much as before. He feels that my world is overwhelming and rushing towards him, which is too depressing.
During that young and impetuous time, we didn’t have the patience to think about how to manage a relationship. So I still stubbornly told him the whole world, and he still didn't know how to deal with it under the pressure.
The qualitative change caused by quantitative change ultimately makes our feelings end in failure in mutual complaints.
I don’t want to evaluate how the other party should do it to be more conducive to this relationship, but I have serious self-reflection.
Too much "love" can make the other party suppress and at some point make the other party disregard.
After all, those who are favored are fearless.
Of course I think love is about sharing, but we should share it more with ‘reserved’.
is displayed too quickly and in all aspects, undoubtedly, which will make the other party go from the joy of being shared to the 'falling' like a storage bag.
What we want to share should be the kind that I think is good, and you should also like it.
instead of everything I like, I will throw it to you.
Just like the words Minglan said to the young master in "Knowing or Not":
"You always feel that you are doing good for me, but I think good is really good, what you say doesn't count!"
In addition, if I could consciously withdraw my energy from a relationship at that time, make new friends, join new clubs, and embrace a new college life.
So at least, when he decides to leave, I won’t feel like I’ve lost the whole world.
We put all our attention into a relationship, just like putting all the eggs into a basket.
This is a taboo in "investment". Moreover, what we have devoted ourselves to is the most precious life we have only once.
So, before we love others, the most important thing we should learn is to love ourselves.
If you love yourself, you should not place all your joys, anger, sorrows and expectations of life on one person.
We need to share some of our hobbies and careers for our family, friends, and our own hobbies and careers.
The more we divide, the more joy, happiness and hope we can gain, the richer the joy, happiness and hope.
In this way, no matter what situation we encounter in life, whether it is love, unemployment, or otherwise, we can still gain strength and happiness from other places.
So, next time we fall in love, we will all love each other less. Maybe we can all be happier.
