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When I was a child, my ideal marriage age was 25 years old.
can't tell why it is 25. I just think this age is very beautiful, neither early nor late, just right.
But when I was 25 years old, I found that this beautiful dream was too difficult to realize.
25 years old, I am still living a rental life in a city village. My work and career are unstable, I have no house or car, I don’t know where my future home is, and I dare not talk about the word “marriage” at all.
My boyfriend and I have a very ordinary family. When we get married, we must deal with all expenses by ourselves. Our parents can't help much, so we just put it aside...
25 years old, and I still look forward to getting married at the age of 26, but as soon as my career started, I put these things behind me.
27 years old, with a house and a car, the two of them have been together for ten years (living together for a year), everything is good, but it seems that they don’t yearn for marriage so much.
remembered that sentence:
"The skirt I want to buy at the age of 20, and it doesn't make sense to wear it at the age of 30. Everything you want to get now will expire soon."
Yes, things you like have a shelf life.
The playmates I once liked will expire; the non-mainstream hairstyles I like will expire; the red grid shirts I like will expire; the ice skating hobby you like will expire... Even the wedding I yearn for will expire.
In this world, what else will not expire?
went to attend a classmate’s wedding two years ago. At that time, I just thought "This is too early to get married" . Now I think about it, friends who get married early are the winners in life.
If you support your conditions, who wouldn’t want to get married and settle down early?
Last year, my aunt also urged me to get married. I said I didn’t dare to get married without money. My aunt said, "When I get rich, people are old."
She said this correctly. Although "late marriage and late childbirth" is the norm, if possible, girls get married and have babies early, which will reduce the damage to their bodies.
It’s a pity that in modern society, there are very few couples who can satisfy "Young + Economic OK" .
People do not want to get married, but they dare not get married.
I used to yearn for marriage because I had no idea about "marriage". I thought that girls could still go back to their parents' home anytime and anywhere after getting married, and could go back to their home freely during the Chinese New Year and holidays, just like when they were single.
But I was wrong, my idea is too immature and too idealistic.
Love can be a matter of two people, but getting married really can't just be a matter of two people, but a matter of two families.
This is simply an abyss for me who is afraid of socialism and for me who likes quietness.
Now my boyfriend and I are not married yet, so I just want to "Who will go to during the Chinese New Year this year" is red. If I really get married, I don't know how to alleviate this conflict every Spring Festival.
I made it clear: "Everyone goes home during the Chinese New Year, and each finds his mother."
But my boyfriend felt that I would at least stay at his house for one or two nights, otherwise I would feel embarrassed.
I really want to be angry and cry! His family has a large group of relatives during the Chinese New Year, and my family was always deserted and quiet, so it was really difficult for me to integrate into such a "lively" atmosphere.
I have an obvious shortcoming, for things that I am not good at doing - I always like to "escape".
I had to write a paper some time ago, and I kept escaping. I clearly had time to write and had time to eat, drink and have fun, but I kept telling the teacher that I "don't have time to write a paper". In the end, my paper was completed very badly.
The older I am, I also chose the "escape" method for marriage.
I am afraid of getting married and even more afraid of having children. To be precise, I am afraid of not having money to raise myself and not having money to raise children. Because I have experienced hard life before, I must be cautious about marriage.
27 years old, a bit embarrassing age, 28, 29, 30 years old... Maybe it will be even more embarrassing.
don’t want to think too much now. I just want to pay off the remaining 700,000 yuan mortgage as soon as possible. I long for an independent house, but I don’t want to live a high debt life.
mortgage + social security for two people + living expenses, our total monthly expenditure is at least 15,000 yuan. If we do not reduce the total expenditure and do not have "after sleep income", it is very dangerous if we encounter a sudden black swan event .
2022 There are only one and a half months left. In fact, my goals and wishes for this year have been fulfilled, but some greedy wishes have emerged temporarily, and there is no end.
The two major wishes this year are "decorate and move into a new home + buy a car". After these two wishes are completed, I still want to pay back some mortgages in advance. The mortgage is under pressure and I really dare not think about getting married.
After this year, I will be in the third year. Although I have some "age anxiety", I still remind myself in my heart: should not get married because of age, but should be truly ready to get married before I can get the red book.
Hopefully one day soon, I will no longer be afraid but calm when facing marriage, the family atmosphere of the man is no longer escaping but generously embracing me, I will no longer be tossing and emptiing myself properly...
If you want to marry happiness, the most important thing is to enrich yourself. What I can do now is to try to shorten the time of this day.
Although it is not that easy, I always like my own independent and rich look. ♥️
or above, good night.
Previous exciting content:
only work but not work, and the account is 4,473 yuan a day. My source of income is public.
Author introduction:
Xiao Yuer, who dropped out of school in her freshman year and earned millions of dollars by writing annually, focusing on [self-media writing operation + personal IP creation]. Follow me and accompany you to grow up and meet a better self.
