My husband is a "family helper". I endured it for a long time. In order to get a divorce, I silently planned until I gave him the last blow -
(the picture and text are irrelevant)
① Regret: The in-laws who have been exploited cannot get involved
My name is Milan, from Shijiazhuang City, Hebei Province. Eight years ago, my husband Chen Duo and I came to Shenzhen City, Guangdong Province to work hard. After some hard work, life finally improved. In 2016, we took a loan to buy a house of more than 90 square meters in Yantian District and had our own home.
But before we could breathe a sigh of relief, Chen Duoyuan's parents in his hometown called and said they wanted to come and live there for a while and see our new house.
I am really scared when I mention his parents. We have had unhappiness before. My father-in-law comes from rural Hebei, and my mother-in-law is from the city. She said it all at home and was in charge of the financial power in the family. The monthly salary of parents-in-law is several thousand yuan, which is enough for their expenses. But the first day I entered the door, I learned about my mother-in-law's "predictiveness".
That night, my mother-in-law called Chen Duo and me, stuffed the silver ring on her hand that she had worn for half a century and said, "From the future, we will be a family. If the family doesn't speak two families, then the 20,000 yuan gift I collected will be kept here. I will help you take care of it!" That was the period of financial difficulties between Chen Duo and me, and most of the gifts that I received came from our friends, and they were also the favor debts that would be paid back twice in the future.
I hadn't made any statement yet, but Chen Duo said first: "Yes, even if Xiaolan and I respect you, please keep it for you!" I glared at Chen Duo, and felt a little angry that he didn't discuss it with me.
Afterwards, Chen Duo hugged me and explained: "Dear, I will work hard to make money in the future. Not to mention 200,000, I can earn you back even if it is 200,000. Besides, my mother gave you all her son, it is not worth 20,000 yuan?" I suddenly became furious and replied to him: "My mother also gave you my baby daughter, how much is it worth?"
Chen Duo came over with a smile. Although I was a little unhappy, I thought that I was too careless and seemed ignorant as soon as I entered the door, so I didn't say anything.
When I was pregnant with my daughter Tiantian, I was diagnosed with pregnancy hypertension and had a heavy head and a light feet. Chen Duo specially brought his in-laws to Shenzhen to take care of me. But after my parents-in-law came, they complained that our house was small, and they said that there was no kitchen and they couldn't do anything, so they could just eat. After two days, they said that they finally arrived at , Shenzhen Special Zone , and they didn't even go out for a walk, so they came in vain.
Chen Duo could only put down his work, accompanied them to travel and shop, and bought them a lot of clothes and gifts. What was so funny was that my father-in-law also appointed a suit from the host of CCTV (News Network), so Chen Duo had to buy the same A-style product to honor his father.
I couldn't help but snorted. My father-in-law has retired and is at home. He doesn't have the opportunity to wear a suit on weekdays. Needless to say, this suit must be cheaper than Chen Duo's brother.
Later, Chen Duo became busy and couldn't take care of his parents-in-law at all. They complain all day long that they would be suffocated to death when they stayed in the bird cage. So, my in-laws made some food for me every day, asked me to take good care of my baby and go out and sway everywhere by myself. Because I was upset, my dizziness became even worse. Once, I got out of bed and wanted to cook some red bean soup, but I fainted on the ground. Fortunately, Chen Duo came home early that day and sent me to the hospital as soon as possible.
After being discharged from the hospital, my mother-in-law said sarcastically: "I remember when I was pregnant with Chen Duo and his brother, I was working for 7 months. Why are you so spoiled?!" I was speechless.
What really made me feel outrageous is that one day when I was 8 months pregnant, I saw Chen Duo sneakingly handing a card to my mother-in-law. I asked Chen Duo what happened, and he hesitated: "My parents are in Shenzhen, and their expenses are all money. I give my salary card to my mother, which is also a little comfort to the old man!" Is there anything wrong with
? Both parents-in-law have salaries, and we pay for whatever the family buys, what else is there? Chen Duo seemed to be calm and said: "The old man has no money, so he doesn't feel safe. For my sake, be patient!" After
gave birth to his daughter in a caesarean section, his father-in-law never appeared in the hospital. My mother-in-law thought I was asleep and scolded him, "Sustaining so delicately, I gave birth to such a thing!" I was on the hospital bed, tears instantly flowed out.Later, when I was in confinement, my mother came from her hometown to take care of me.
After being discharged from the hospital, the mother-in-law was originally taking care of the baby, but she slept soundly and the child was not aware of it when he was hungry and cried. My mom had to do it by herself. During that time, my mother had to deal with them all during the day and take care of the baby at night, and she lost more than 20 kilograms at once.
Why? Why do I have to tired my mother? In October 2017, I made up my mind to ask my mother to take the baby back to her hometown to raise her. The child was not here, and the parents-in-law had no reason to live here again, so they returned to their hometown.
Chen Duo and I finally calmed down for a while. I found that if Chen Duo and I live together, we are very harmonious, but as long as we are involved in the people and affairs of his family, our relationship will be tense.
② Separation: Each has its own concerns and goes further and further
After two years, at the end of 2019, my parents-in-law came to Shenzhen again. Unexpectedly, Xiaobao, the second son of Chen Duo’s younger brother, was also here. My mother-in-law entered the door and started acting again. She wiped her tears and told me that Chen Duo's younger brother had just divorced and the first girl was awarded to the woman's family. Now, he has not found his job yet. We live a good life and hope we can help.
I sneered in my heart. Didn’t we just want us to raise children for his younger brother? But in fact, we have a mortgage loan and live in Shenzhen is under great pressure. Why do we have the energy to help his younger brother?
But Chen Duo likes to slap the swollen face and pretend to be fat. He agreed and said to me: "Filial piety is to follow the parents! Besides, that is my brother's child. Just think we have twins ?"
What is the logic of twins? His daughter doesn’t consider taking them back to raise, but raising his younger brother’s child said to have a pair of twins?
Chen Duo was still there and said: "Your parents help me take care of my daughter, and I will also support them! I’m not polite. He was clamoring him: "You don't even raise your own daughter, will you still raise them? Your parents, your younger brother, you have so many children, can you raise them?"
Chen Duo was furious: "Your parents have a high retirement salary, so what if you subsidize us? Anyway, they are only your daughter, and sooner or later their property will be left to us!"
I was shocked! Why should my parents carry out targeted poverty alleviation for your family? As long as I think of my own children staying in my hometown, my uncle's son can stay in Shenzhen, I feel psychologically unbalanced.
Chen Duo and I had many fierce quarrels because of this, and I saw through the faces of this family more and more. It turns out from beginning to end, my daughter and I The son is an outsider, and only the people in their family are their own.
If the couple cannot be united, the marriage is only quarrels left. Is there any need to maintain such a life? I was so sad that I found a lawyer and planned a divorce agreement with . Unexpectedly, after the large-scale outbreak of the epidemic, this matter was delayed. The lawyer suggested that I could take this time to clarify the property of our couple and fight for the greatest rights for myself.
Chen Duo and I were very clear about the property of Chen Duo. The down payment of the house is the money paid by our family, and my daughter is also supported by my parents. So, I proposed that the family expenses will be AA system in the future, and whoever pays for the family will pay.
Since then, my in-laws have been tactfully only He cares about his son's money. Chen Duo has to pay the mortgage every month. His younger brother's son's kindergarten costs 20,000 yuan a year. Various expenses have forced Chen Duo to a point where he is unable to make ends meet. But who can blame all this? He can't tell the relationship between his small family and his parents' home for a day, so he can't live a comfortable life.
In August 2020, my father was hospitalized for surgery because of gallstones and . I went back to my hometown and left in a hurry at that time and didn't carry too much money. I called Chen Duo and asked me to transfer 10,000 yuan to spare for me. He said, "Didn't you say AA? I'll keep the accounts for you. Remember to return the money when I come back!
I was so amused and crying. I thought that after the family matters were arranged, I would go to handle the procedures with Chen Duo. After my dad was discharged from the hospital and settled down, I returned to Shenzhen. As soon as I entered the house, a sour smell came to my nose, and I was completely stunned and collapsed. It turned out that my parents-in-law knew that my offering was cut off and Chen Duo had been financially emptied, so they became obsessed with picking up trash. There were bags of beverage bottles and discarded paper boxes thrown by others on the balcony. Shenzhen was already hot, and it quickly caused flying insects to grow at home, making the home sour and smelly.
That day, I threw the divorce agreement on Chen Duo's face. But he tore up the agreement: "It's not that easy to leave if you want. Who knows if you have another man outside?"
I was speechless! It turns out that once a man loses feelings for you, he can be so shameless.
Seeing that my daughter Tiantian was at the age of kindergarten, I rented a house outside and took my parents and Tiantian to Shenzhen. I quickly escaped from the garbage dump and officially separated from Chen Duo.
In this way, I go to work every day, go to kindergarten to pick up my daughter after get off work, and go home to eat the meals made by my parents, and feel comfortable. But the "Chen Duo family" was not having a easy life.
③ Husband: endured for 5 years and left the "Helping Family Demon"
Once, when passing by the property office of the community, I saw Chen Duo nodding and apologizing to the representative of the owners' committee . Later, I heard from my neighbors that my in-laws circled the public platform with an iron fence and piled up the garbage he picked up. When the property came forward, my father-in-law actually lying on the ground crying and slapped himself, and shouting, asking her mother-in-law to record it. I posted it down to Douyin , and said that the property management beat people.
I looked at Chen Duo who was in a hurry from afar. At that moment, I felt pitiful. Because before, my parents-in-law had conflicts with neighbors, I went to put out the fire and apologized to others.
Once, I went back to get things. As soon as the door opened, I heard my father-in-law say, "Brothers are like brothers and feet, and my wife is like clothes. What's the great thing about giving birth to a girl? Divorce, find another one in life. "Chen Duo said: "Divorce is not that easy. Someone has half of this house. Are you willing to pay the money to pay for it?"
In-laws saw me walking into the living room and stop talking. Chen Duo was also embarrassed. I said nothing and immediately discussed with the lawyer. Does Chen Duo refuses to sign mean that he has to sue and go through legal procedures? The lawyer suggested that it is better to agree to divorce. If you sue, you have to follow the process. Not only will it take a long time, but it is also time-consuming and laborious. Moreover, the new " Civil Code " has determined the cooling-off period for the divorce, and the cost of divorce is getting higher and higher.
In the Spring Festival of 2021, Chen Duo said for the first time that the two families have gathered together, after all, there has not been a formal divorce yet. I guess he should have calculated the account and knew that the divorce was not cost-effective and wanted to ease it. Relationship with the lower relationship.
As a result, the two families inevitably started war again. When the New Year's Eve dinner officially began, in order to show their intimacy, my mother-in-law picked up a dumpling, tasted the cold and cold in her mouth, stuffed it into her daughter's mouth, and said loudly: "Grandma is not hygienic!"
My mother-in-law's face changed suddenly, and she sighed and said, "I'm so angry that I'm so angry!" Chen Duo took advantage of the alcohol and went crazy and pulled her daughter to apologize to her grandmother. My daughter was scared to cry, and he spread all her anger on her daughter, and pointed at me and said, "Look at what you educated your child, the upper beam is not straight and the lower beam is crooked! Humph, I gave my mother the salary card, you are unhappy, what's wrong with me helping my brother raise a child for a few years? You always think my family wants money, but your family has tens of thousands of mouths. Your father is sick and he has insurance, but you ask me for medical expenses for a long distance!" I was so angry that my scalp was numb: "Chen Duo, what qualifications do you have to blame my parents? The 10,000 yuan price of my father's medical treatment is something I want to have, which can be used for urgent use. Besides, I will pay you back the money!" But Chen Duo still looked disdainful and parted with a bad meal. Looking at the man who had been considerate and gentle to me in front of me, he became this face, so strange, I was so heartbroken.
After the "New Year's fight", I took legal action and formally filed a divorce. Unexpectedly, during this period, I actually received a call from the police, asking me to bail Chen Duo. The police told me that since half a year ago, in order to make more money and make quick money, Chen Duo hung up a pornographic website to open a live broadcast room. He was responsible for the customer Private customized live broadcasts, as long as the traffic is large, the income will be large. He sold website membership cards for 68 yuan and 88 yuan respectively, attracting tens of thousands of netizens to browse in his live broadcast room, of which more than 2,000 netizens purchased the website membership cards.
Chen Duo’s live broadcast room is available locally. There is a high-end bath center near my home. Chen Duo had the idea of a bath center. He first applied for a membership gold card in the bath center, sneaked into the VIP room, double room and single room, installed a pinhole camera, and broadcast the mandarin bath live.Later, he was arrested on the spot by security personnel and called the police. He had to ask me to guarantee it.
The police also said that installing cameras in hotel rooms, public bathrooms, locker rooms, bathrooms, etc. that involve citizens' personal privacy is illegal and is an act of infringing on others' privacy rights. public security management penalties must be imposed. Not only that, Chen Duo also arbitrarily spread relevant videos and made illegal profits. He is suspected of committing a crime and is temporarily detained, waiting for further investigation by the police.
Looking at Chen Duo with a beard, I really don’t know what to say. After the accident, my parents-in-law ran to my parents' house and cried and made a fuss, begging us to rescue Chen Duo. A week later, after police investigation, in just half a year, Chen Duo made illegal profits of 70,000 yuan by selling pornographic website membership cards. Fortunately, he was not the organizer and was administratively detained by for 615 days, confiscated his illegal income, and fined him another 15,000 yuan.
After Chen Duo was released, we successfully completed the divorce procedures. Half of the house we bought with a loan, and the custody of our daughter belongs to me.
After completing the procedures, I looked at Chen Duo's resentful eyes and really wanted to tell him that filial piety is not forcing people who have no intersection in their first half of their lives to live together, and finally causing chaos and ending in divorce; filial piety is not about enjoying the full set of matching of one original family, and also extorting emotions from his partner, but about maintaining a comfortable distance from his parents, caring for each other, and taking care of each other. Since 2016, I have endured myself for 5 years...
But I said nothing and left with my daughter's hand. He took everything today by himself.
