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This issue:
Procrastination ▎The truth behind it is fear?
Procrastination seems to be a minor problem, and dragging it becomes a big problem. Some people are not studying hard and cannot finish their jobs. Some people are procrastinating when looking for a job and missed many good jobs. Some people suffer from depression due to procrastination anxiety and excessive self-blame, and lose a lot of hair.
A friend's girlfriend is even more exaggerated. She always likes to delay work until the time is about to be delivered before completing the work. Once she had to write a project report of 90 pages, but she dragged it until the last 48 hours to start working. She waited until the last half hour before handing over the report. After handing over the report, his girlfriend fell into a dark eyes and fell down. She was so scared that she quickly called 120 and sent it to the hospital. She went to the hospital for a check-up. Fortunately, it was fine.
The doctor said that the fainting was due to excessive fatigue and low blood sugar. He thought that this friend's girlfriend would definitely correct the procrastination because of this incident. But within a month, her old problem broke again. She delayed until the day before the project to start rushing to report, and then she made the report all night, but the report was very, very rough. After handing her over to the leader, the leader scolded her. This friend couldn't understand why her girlfriend's delayedness was not changed. It is said that she gained wisdom after learning from her mistakes. She has learned so much, so why didn't she gain a memory?
His girlfriend also felt very wronged. Of course she knew she would change it, but this problem was really strange. It was like a weed. You pulled it out, but not long after, it grew again. Later I thought about it carefully, was it because I only cut the grass and didn’t eradicate the root? Where was that?
In fact, his girlfriend is right. The behavior of procrastination is like the leaves of grass, which can be observed by us. The root cause of procrastination is like the roots of grass buried under it. If you want to seriously understand procrastination, it is not enough to study its leaves alone. We must dig deeper and find its root.
For example, Goethe, a great writer, started writing "Faust" at the age of 18 and finished writing at the age of 83, which took a full 64 years. My friend Schiller urged him to update for more than ten years, but he didn't see the full text until his death.
The great painter Da Vinci is also a patient with severe procrastination. He has no more than 20 paintings in his life. "Mona Lisa" has been painted for four years, "The Last Supper" has been painted for three years, and there are many works that promised customers, which have not been delivered for a long time, which seriously affects the relationship with Party A.
There are many sources of procrastination, there are three main ones. The first is the emotional root, the second is the biological root, and the third is the interpersonal root, which entangles each other and affects our procrastination behavior.
Today's article mainly talks about the roots of emotions. The second and third episodes of the following discussions on biological roots and interpersonal roots respectively.
Let’s look at the root of emotions now. What kind of emotions are they that make us procrastinate? Don't want to act immediately?
is actually often fearful. What about this?
First, let me tell you a case:
There was a very good sister in high school, who was particularly outstanding. During the college entrance examination, she took an exam for a prestigious school and performed very well in the university. As soon as she graduated, she joined a big factory. She was going to do a big job and set a goal. She must be the company executive position within 5 years. Not long after, she became abnormal at work, delayed work, delayed many project progress, such as meeting customers, conducting case investigations, writing work summary, etc.
The boss talked to her and asked her, what was going on? Why do you always procrastinate and unable to get excited? Is something wrong at home?
This sister said no, and her boss said, don’t be afraid, you are really great, pat her on the shoulder and left. The sister was confused and didn’t understand why.
After a long time later, I gradually understood what my boss said, "Don't be afraid of this sentence, because I am a perfectionist, afraid of failure, and afraid of doing everything I can, but I still don't do it well enough. She drags on and does not do it all her best to avoid her potential. wants to give herself psychological comfort. She deliberately does this because she doesn't use all her strength. If she works hard, she will do it well. This is actually to maintain a belief. My ability is excellent and unlimited.
In fact, the phenomenon of procrastination is very common in life. Sometimes it is "small drag and happy", which allows us to gain some "self-care" in the intra-cumulative environment. But if procrastination becomes a habit that seriously affects our lives and career development, it will make us feel guilty and guilt in our hearts, and even lower our self-evaluation. In other words, a harmful "behavior" triggers a harmful "psychological reaction".
Then why are the consequences painful? We still cannot "give up" delay?
In fact, all our behaviors, whether adaptive or inadaptive, have their functions. So don’t underestimate the problem of procrastination in us. If there is no sufficient reason, we cannot stick to a habit that is unfavorable to ourselves for a long time. In other words, behind some of our usual behaviors in , people are afraid of failure or success for various reasons. Because of fear, they delay doing things and prevent themselves from succeeding.
This is all for the first chapter of today. If you want to truly understand procrastination, these manifestations are not enough. You must dig deeper to find out what the root cause of procrastination is?
Chapter 2, let’s talk about Is there really a procrastination gene in the world?
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