The old saying often says: "A son-in-law is half a son." For many mothers' families, their attitude towards their son-in-law often determines whether the son-in-law can act as the responsibility and obligation of the son. I have seen many families where son-in-law get along very happily with father-in-law and mother-in-law. I am truly as close as a family. I have also seen many son-in-law and father-in-law have a quarrel, which ultimately affects the marriage life, leading to Marriage failed...
So how to get along with your son-in-law has become a place that many people need to care about, because once they get along well, the son-in-law can be treated as half a child. If they don’t get along well, it will be just a superficial "son" in the name of relatives, let alone the future retirement will be entrusted to the son-in-law, which will be even more rejected. So if one day they really need to let their daughters and son-in-law support themselves, can they get a stable old age life?
The son has no money to support his old age, and his 60-year-old mother moved into his daughter's house. The son-in-law was angry: three requirements are indispensable!
63-year-old Aunt Zhao:
Aunt Zhao, 63 years old this year, is not easy now because no one has given her retirement. Her life is very difficult and helpless, but she has no choice. Because of the retirement, she has reflected on the wrong decision she made more than once, but now it is useless.
Aunt Zhao is a retired worker who works in a local factory and has worked all his life. Now after retirement, he can get a pension of more than 2,000 yuan a month. Aunt Zhao has two children, the eldest is a son and the second is a girl. Her wife died when she was in her fifties. After her death, Aunt Zhao has always lived in her son's house, and it is not until now that she has the intention to change her retirement status.
In fact, the family is a daughter, and the elderly with a son should be able to empathize with it in their hearts, because raising a child to prevent old age, because the son passes on the family line, and because the son will stay by his side in the end, taking care of life and family. Aunt Zhao is no exception. The help to his son in life is far more than that of his daughter. Although Aunt Zhao's family does not have the idea of favoring boys over girls, after all, the boy spends a lot of money. When getting married, they buy a house and a car, and get a bride price. These things are all huge expenses. The greatest help from his daughter when getting married is to take all the man's bride price to his daughter. The old couple did not keep a penny. This is the greatest help to his daughter, and the daughter and son-in-law have never complained.
Later, after Aunt Zhao's wife passed away, Aunt Zhao also took the lead in his son's home to live, helping his son and daughter-in-law take care of his children, and also cared for her to retire. However, things are impermanent, and her son drove away and hit someone. Fortunately, the person who was hit was not at risk of getting sick, but unfortunately, the other party asked for various medical expenses, compensation and subsequent treatment costs, etc., which amounted to 500,000 or 600,000 yuan, which added a lot of burden to this not-so-rich family.
The salary of the son and daughter-in-law is limited. After getting married, the child occupied most of the family's expenses. In the past few years, he only saved about 100,000 yuan. In addition, there are mortgages and car loans, which basically seriously affected his life. In order to help his son overcome the difficulties, Aunt Zhao took out her 100,000 yuan pension deposit and sold her old house. The old house belongs to the old community. The geographical location is not very ideal. It is still a staircase house. So in the end, it was sold for more than 400,000 yuan, and her daughter and son-in-law also borrowed tens of thousands of yuan. She barely raised more than 600,000 yuan to compensate the other party. This was the case.
Although this matter has passed, the family's mental state has also been much worse. The son has lost his job and has done nothing at home for a long time. He also tried to find a job, but in the end he did not meet a suitable one. Either the salary is too low or because he is too heavy, the family can't even pay the mortgage at one time. Aunt Zhao's monthly pension of more than 2,000 yuan is used to help his son and daughter-in-law live. In this way, his career is barely forced.
says that husband and wife are birds in the same forest, and they fly away from each other when the disaster is coming. The long-term financial difficulties and family difficulties make the daughter-in-law increasingly helpless. The two quarrels more and more at home. Although they have not divorced, the daughter-in-law chooses to take the children back to their parents' home to live. No matter how Aunt Zhao persuades her, it is useless. After all, this family even has a problem with monthly loans, so how can they survive.
daughter-in-law returned to her parents' home. Her son couldn't find a suitable job now. Aunt Zhao was exhausted physically and mentally. She wanted to stay at her son's house to help her cook, clean the room, and use her pension to help her son live. However, her own physical condition was not good, weak and sickly, and she often needed to go to the hospital for medical treatment, re-examination, and buy medicine. All these situations made her even more and more difficult.
Aunt Zhao thought about it and finally made a decision, which was to go to his daughter's house to live, and leave his son's small house for his son and daughter-in-law to repair it well, but her monthly pension was left to her son. She started to talk to her daughter.Aunt Zhao said:
"Girl, you know your brother's situation. It's hard to find a job in a supermarket. He still moved things. It's only more than 3,000 yuan a month. It's just the beginning. I went out early and came back late every day. I couldn't help him, but instead caused trouble for them. My mother thought about staying at your house. When your brother's house is in good condition, I'll move back."
Aunt Zhao's words made his daughter not The solution was refused. After all, the biological mother wanted to come to the house to support her, and the children had to do their best to help her. Aunt Zhao moved into her daughter's home for this reason. The son-in-law also understood the situation and didn't want to say anything more. However, until half a year later, when she saw that Aunt Zhao still had no intention of leaving, the son-in-law also began to worry:
"When will your mother move back? It's been more than half a year. We don't have much energy to take care of her now. My parents haven't been here for so long. They keep calling and saying they missed their grandson."
But Aunt Zhao's daughter said:
"I'll turn around and ask my mother, ask my brother."
Aunt Zhao also felt very embarrassed after hearing this:
"Your brother's life is also difficult now. I'll live here first. When they slow down, the situation is better, I'll go back to his place to retire."
Son-in-law said directly when he heard it:
"Mom, but when will the situation be better? The compensation at that time was basically compensated. They had no extra pressure now, and only the mortgage loan and the car was sold. Even if they were compensated at that time, they started to make money and save money. Besides, you gave them the monthly pension, and their lives must be much better."
Aunt Zhao told the truth helplessly:
"Oh, you don't know. They still owe others about 200,000 yuan now. Now they don't make enough money."
Daughter immediately wondered:
"Didn't it all be compensated? Where did 200,000 yuan come from? At that time, our old house was sold for hundreds of thousands, which must be enough to pay, but how could there be 200,000 yuan?"
Aunt Zhao said:
"That 200,000 yuan was found later. Your sister-in-law and her father had cancer and lived in the hospital. He kept spending money. Your sister-in-law has no brothers and sisters at home, and she is the only girl. You said your brother can't help, so he just pieced together 200,000 yuan, but the person was not cured and the money was spent. Now it's okay to make money."
The son-in-law was angry when he heard this:
"That can't just ignore your pension. I don't believe that if you have a family, you don't have your meal. Every family has difficulties. Our family also has it. Children need to spend money to go to school, ask someone to find relationships, and have money to spend money to hold various interest classes. My parents' health is not good, and they are all difficult, not to mention that you have been living in the past few months, going to the hospital for medical treatment, taking medicine, and treating diseases, all of which are our money. We can't even get enough money to pay for your pension. Now you say how do you ask us to provide you with your pension? "
Aunt Zhao said:
"If your brother hadn't been able to live a life now and had no ability to support me in his old age, I would definitely not have come to make things difficult for you. I also know it is not suitable, but we are a family, and if we have difficulties, we need the whole family to help each other. "
The son-in-law thought about it and said:
" OK, three requirements, none of them are missing!
The first requirement is, since your son and daughter-in-law are not able to retire now, then you will take back your pension. This money will be used to bear your daily expenses and medicine and other things. At least it will not bring burden to our lives or put pressure on my family;
The second requirement is, you call their family, and we will explain the matter of retirement, is it that you live in our retirement? If so, then they will give us 1,000 yuan a month to bear your living expenses and living expenses, which is also their expression of filial piety to you;
The third requirement is, how long to live, you We are in our sixties this year, and their family is in a bad situation. We all understand these, but we have a limit on everything, and there is a term. Should we live for one year, two years, three years, four years, if we live for a short period of time, we agree, and we are willing to meet the above requirements. But if we live for a long time, we have to make it clearer that your house and deposits are half of Xiaoyu (Aunt Zhao's daughter). However, because of this situation, Xiaoyu has not received a penny, and now he has to take on the elderly care affairs for you. My parents can't come here, which has also had an impact on my life. If you want to live for a long time, then you must also explain to their family whether the money has to be kept for us. If it really doesn't work, write an IOU. In short, we can't handle it and solve it. They don't understand us! "
s son-in-law's words undoubtedly made Aunt Zhao feel embarrassed. She knew the situation at her son's house and it was still difficult to do what her son-in-law said. However, she also understood the difficulties of her son-in-law. She could only endure it herself, and was unwilling to mention this matter to her son, and could not directly reject her son-in-law. She could only tell her daughter the helplessness in her heart again and again, but her daughter Just say:
"Mom, I think every family has a difficult sutra. You have helped my brother and their family. Now that you are in a difficult situation, you will come to our house to take care of your elderly care. Let's take a step back and say, I am your own daughter. Even if I don't get a penny, I have to give you my elderly care. But what should he do? After all, we are husband and wife, and the house is half of his current one. What should he do if his parents' elderly care is all problems. "
My daughter's words made Aunt Zhao even more helpless, which also made her life depressed now. Without savings, no house for retirement, no place to go, and no one who can support herself. The palms and backs of her hands are flesh, and it will be difficult no matter which party you hurt.
Maybe it was because she saw Aunt Zhao's helplessness. The son-in-law discussed with Aunt Zhao's daughter:
"Mom can live here I have to agree to the three requirements I mentioned, otherwise the harder and harder the mother will go, and we will go. Your brother and their family are in trouble, but they are all adults, and every decision is responsible, instead of not letting your mother go out because of difficulties. This is not true in itself. Either you should be filial to your mother in front of the bed or pay for filial piety, they cannot enjoy all your mother’s savings. As a result, if you don’t give me support, you can’t open your mother’s mouth, and you can’t tell it, but if you go and say it, it’s different."
In this way, Aunt Zhao's daughter also secretly found her elder brother and told her about this matter, but the two still had a fight and parted in a bad mood. However, this quarrel also made the two children try to consider Aunt Zhao's retirement affairs.
at the end:
Aunt Zhao's experience is very difficult, and life after retirement in her later years is even more difficult. As a parent, it is naturally always to consider the children, but excessive concessions and tolerance will lead to difficulties for her. Aunt Zhao's Helping my son through difficulties almost complete his retreat, so that the only way out for his daughter and son-in-law to retire is so difficult now. If Aunt Zhao could protect her house or save money, it might not have ended like this.
people will always face many problems and encounter many things in their later years, but the more they reach this time, the more they need to maintain a good attitude and a stable attitude to communicate. Since the children are not unfilial, then communicating well will definitely find an ending that everyone is satisfied with. What do you think?
