Yesterday, my friend Xiaona told me that my ex-boyfriend, who had been breaking up for more than two years, came to add her on WeChat.
is nothing more than the infatuated man who was forced to break up at the time, but now he feels that he really can't leave his former lover and admits his mistake again.
Xiaona said that the other party first asked her how she was doing recently, and then asked if she had a boyfriend. Then she explained that the breakup was mainly because the family disagreed, and his parents had a daughter-in-law who they liked.
He naturally didn't want to do it at first, but he couldn't resist his mother using various means to force him, so he broke up.
But after getting along with that girl, I found that I still couldn't forget Xiaona, so I came to find her again. He apologized sincerely and asked Xiaona to give him another chance.
I asked Xiaona if she believed it, and Xiaona laughed and said, "I don't believe it. If he really loved me, he wouldn't have given up on me at the beginning.
will also work hard for me early in the morning to convince his parents. He didn't love me as much as he said.
A love that others can break easily with each other. What is the real love to talk about? "
I am happy for Xiaona's awakening.
I often see various help posts online, telling my ex-boyfriend came back to find me, explaining the difficulties and reasons why he had to break up at that time, and saying that he found that he still couldn't live without her, so he came back to find her and asked if he should be better. Give him a chance.
Most girls who seek help basically forgive their ex-boyfriend in the end, and basically end up being hurt again.
Girls who are truly independent and sober will not post such posts and requests for help online to ask others for opinions.
Those girls who posted to ask others for their opinions just wanted others to tell her: "Since he admits his mistake, you should give him another chance."
Even if the man hurts her again in the end, she will shy away from the responsibility and think that it is because she is injured after listening to other people's opinions. It is not your fault.
Some people may ask, is it worth believing that boys said they split up because their parents disagreed or other reasons?
is not worth it, because you are his choice after weighing the pros and cons.
Most boys who come back to find their ex-girlfriend to get back together are not because they love their ex-girlfriends too much. After all, if they really love them, they wouldn't have broken up easily at the beginning.
essentially after he went out for a while, he found that his ex-girlfriend was the best, the most obedient, and the best to cheat, so he came back.
Take Xiaona as an example. Her ex-boyfriend said that her parents forced him to break up and asked him to fall in love with other girls, so he had no choice but to break up.
But everyone is adult, don’t put the responsibility on your parents’ decisions.
Take a step back and say that even if his parents ask him to break up, will he break up? His parents didn't let him stay up late to play games, so why didn't he listen?
A man who doesn’t know how to find the reasons from himself and takes responsibility is not worthy of relying on by girls.
No surprises. It must be that after he talked with the girl, he found that the other person was not suitable, or the other party thought he was not suitable, so he turned around and looked for Xiaona.
If he is proud and smooth now, he will most likely not remember who Xiaona is.
And after he said that after I fell in love with someone else, I found that you were still in love, it made even more sense.
If you really love someone, do you need to wait until more than two years to discover it? Is this reflective arc too long?
It is obvious that most ex-boyfriends are just making a choice after weighing the pros and cons.
Then someone may ask, are there no boys who really want to get back together?
has, but very few.
After all, just like what the writer Wanqing said, the prodigal son who succeeds and becomes famous is precious, and the regret and begging for mercy in his down-and-out situation is worthless.
If he really comes to you after he succeeds and becomes famous, then that will show his sincerity.
How to judge whether the ex-boyfriend is worth forgiven? Three methods are available for your reference.
1
Sincere and love you, you must use the work that lasts for a period of time as the basis
I some time ago I have been following " Ode to Joy 3", and there is a plot that I still remember fresh in. Among the new five beauties, my favorite is Zhu Zhe. She and Fan Shengmei have similarities, but also different.
Similarly, they all have native families like blood-sucking leeches, constantly asking them for money and asking them to pay.
The difference is that Fan Shengmei will not reject her parents, while Zhu Zhe will promptly cut off her relationship with her original family.
Zhu Zhe came out to work hard for a few years, bought a house in Shanghai, and became a hotel manager.
Just as her life became better and better, her ex-boyfriend Chen Zufa, who had been breaking up with her for a long time, appeared.
He first found Zhu Zhe and said that he wanted to marry Zhu Zhe. Seeing that Zhu Zhe ignored him, he started to show his pity and sympathy again.
Zhu Zhe asked him about bank statements in recent years, and he couldn't give it. He analyzed the expenses after marriage with him, but he said that it's enough to live a good life. Why do you need so much attention to living a marriage?
Obviously, this kind of man doesn’t really want to get back together. He just satisfies his selfishness under the guise of wanting to get back together.
As expected, he later cheated out all the money from his newlywed wife Yu Feixue and asked her to pay back a large amount of debt.
Ex-boyfriend like Chen Zufa can easily determine whether he really wants to get back together.
First of all, he didn't really give anything to the compound.
A person who is truly sincere and wants to get back together will definitely seize the opportunity, show his generous self in front of the other side, and contribute money and efforts to her.
In short, he will appear wherever he needs it, and even if he really pays, he will not say much.
, and Chen Zufa didn't pay at all. He either brought a flower or even couldn't bear to invite Zhu Zhe to a luxurious meal. How could he really want to get back together?
Secondly, how many times he has paid is not enough to express his sincerity, it depends on whether he can continue to give for a period of time.
Some boys know how to be reluctant to let their children go to trap the wolf, so they will grit their teeth and spend money at the beginning, but it is not out of sincerity, so it often lasts for a few days.
Maybe he didn't react to the girl, so he gave up easily after a few rounds and turns.
This kind of thing is not really about wanting to get back together. If he really loves her and wants to be with her, then he will spend his energy to get back the other party.
2
Love you will put respect for you first
Continue to talk about Zhu Zhe, Chen Zufa is chasing Zhu Zhe At that time, he didn't care about Zhu Zhe at all, nor did he respect her, and he only cared about himself.
Zhu Zhe clearly rejected him and told him not to come again, but he didn't listen. He called Zhu Zhe no matter what time he was. Not only that, he also ran to Zhu Zhe's place where Zhu Zhe lived to find Zhu Zhe.
I remember one time, he called Zhu Zhe. Zhu Zhe was too tired and answered by Achu. Chen Zufa did not believe that Zhu Zhe was too tired. Instead, he said in front of Zhu Zhe's friend that she did it on purpose. It was Zhu before. Zhe took the initiative to stick to him and talked about Zhu Zhe's past.
In his words, he had no respect for Zhu Zhe at all.
You said, how could such a man be sincere? How can it be worth a girl giving him another chance?
If a man really wants to get back with his girlfriend, he will first figure out the other person’s thoughts and see if the other person has entered a new relationship.
He will put respect first, and then start to work hard and pursue the other party with sincerity.
Remember, no matter when a man acts well or sincerely, as long as he does not respect you, he must not choose, because without respect, those things are like bubbles, and they will eventually break out at the touch.
A few days ago, my ex-boyfriend Aliang came to me, but before that I clearly told him that I already had a boyfriend, but later he pretended not to know and sent me a message and asked me out.
Of course, I rejected him because he did not know how to respect and sense of boundaries.
He has no sense of boundaries about an ex-girlfriend who already has a boyfriend. What else will he not do in the future? So how can I make me believe him?
3
See if he shirks responsibility for breaking up and why he broke up in the first place
I especially hate it Those men who blame others for breaking up will never look at themselves, do not think it is their fault, and will always be in trouble. Looks like being forced by others.
For example, I had no choice but to break up with you. It was all my parents who forced me. I can't be unfilial to them and not listen to them.
Or it was the girl who provoked me first at that time. Like her Yes, but I can't resist her pestering me every day;
Otherwise, I was under too much pressure from studying or working at that time, so I just wanted to let myself go, not really want to break up with you.
In short, everything is someone else’s fault and has nothing to do with yourself.
Girl, if your ex-boyfriend asks you to get back together and the reasons you say are all blamed for others, then such a boy cannot choose.
Because this is enough to show that he will not take responsibility. If you get back together and you break up one day in the future, he will only say it is your fault.
In addition to this, we also need to see why we broke up with each other.
If the reason for breaking up is to touch the bottom line, for example, the other party has a very extreme personality, , family violence, gamble, cheating, and mama's boys, are basically the difference between zero times and countless times.
But if you don’t touch the bottom line, it is some harmless reasons for breaking up, such as long-distance relationships, career planning, etc. You can also consider this reason.
However, I suggest it is better not to turn back, unless you are sure that each other loves each other very much and cannot survive without each other.
Otherwise, the first thing that broke up for some reason will break up again for this reason in the end.
So the key to compounding is essentially to solve the problem that exists between each other. Only in this way can it last long.
Author | Nancy Master of Translation at Anhui University, through the third-level translation of the Ministry of Human Resources, he has conducted in-depth research on the field of gender emotions. He is good at discovering and solving problems from emotions, so that more people can be aware of them and become a better self.
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