This year, the economic situation is not very optimistic, and all walks of life are not so easy to work. It is inevitable that many people are starting to feel anxious.
Anxiety is normal.
When we feel that there are many uncertainties and potential risks in the future, the nerve called anxiety in our hearts tightens instantly, activating our original lives like sounding an alarm.
"My child's grades are so bad this time. Can he pass the high school entrance examination? If he doesn't pass, will he have to go to a technical school? Then his life will be over!"
"My parents are getting worse and worse. If something happens, what should I do?" What to do?”
"My husband has been getting home late and late recently, and he often sighs and says that business is not doing well. Can our family maintain the current living standard? What should I do with my children?"
...
Anxiety has a magical power. Once it starts, It's hard to stop.
Life is like a big garden, with patches of weeds and flowers.
When we stare at those unsightly weeds over and over again and think about how to completely solve them, we are suffering from "anxiety".
"Anxiety" is sometimes strange. The more anxious you are about something, the more likely it will be. Because the facts confirm the past anxiety, you will become more and more anxious.
student Li Meng is a severe patient with anxiety + internal friction.
She graduated from an ordinary undergraduate degree and has always been dissatisfied with her academic qualifications.
originally wanted to use the postgraduate entrance examination as a springboard in her senior year to wash away the shame brought upon her by her first degree.
But before she started, she began to worry, "I am so bad at science, and the postgraduate entrance exams for mathematics are so difficult. I have to learn from scratch. What should I do if I don't pass? It's a waste of time, and I may not get the results. What if? Test What should I do if I can’t pass the exam and my job search is delayed? “The competition for the postgraduate entrance examination and job search is so fierce, what should I do in the future?”
Amidst all kinds of anxiety, she went to the examination room under great pressure, and she really didn’t pass the exam. .
As a last resort, she found a company to work, and began to worry about her future again -
"This company's performance is mediocre. What should I do if it goes bankrupt?"
"I don't have much development prospects in this job now. , If the company goes bankrupt, what kind of job can I find?”
She went around asking people to express her anxiety, and others gave her advice: “You can learn more. In the future, even if your current employer fails, you can go elsewhere. Ah! "
However, after get off work, she lay down directly and rewarded herself with a few episodes of soap operas after a long day of work.
Now that she is married, she still has not given up the idea of "changing". She wants to test herself, go out, and impress those who once looked down on her.
It’s just that all thoughts remain verbal.
In her body, everyone can clearly see the traces of anxiety eating away at her heart.
When she reaches a certain intersection in her life that is beyond her control, his first choice is to escape - when he finds that he cannot escape, he can only keep anxious - complaining everywhere, but there is no improvement - complain - continue to be anxious.
This cycle continues, her career has never improved, her marriage is barely makeshift, and she seems to be inseparable. What troubles her the most is her health -
Since she turned 40, she has had constant physical ailments, insomnia, and bad temper. Crying tired every day.
She said: "Now I have no money, no love, no health..."
If the story ends here, it will be a replica of a certain moment in most people's lives: we are anxious, then compromise, unwilling, and then Nothing can be done.
But the preciousness of life is: in fact, we still have many choices.
Anxiety is not our enemy, but a friend who reminds us that we may encounter difficulties and dangers in the future.
When we learn to be kind to anxiety and accept all the thoughts, emotions, and physical reactions it brings, everything starts to change.
Many friends may say: "How can change be so easy? I have no money, no appearance, no background, how can I change?"
There is a woman's The story may give you some inspiration:
She is a female star. In the entertainment industry where beauties are everywhere and looks are paramount, her appearance is extremely ordinary. She also has no background, and her parents are ordinary people. Initially, She is also very poor and cannot afford to rent a house.
Once upon a time, she was worried about all these things, but in the end she managed to make a difference.
Many friends may have guessed it. We are talking about , Mary .
Recently, the movie "Walking Alone on the Moon" starring Shen Teng and Ma Li was a box office hit. As a heroine, Ma Li has accumulated many works and has become the highest-grossing female filmmaker in Chinese film and television.
In this world of movies, Ma Li can portray the helplessness of a small person living in a dark life, and can also interpret the humor of a foolish female student; she has both the "masculine" aura after soul piercing, and the qualities of a lone lunar commander. of courage and perseverance.
Ma Li is a unique one among domestic actresses. She is extremely malleable and takes one step at a time.
It can almost be said that the appearance of her name means "rest assured".
However, at first she was extremely anxious because of her appearance and her future.
When she was in college, Ma Li, who had always had excellent grades, knew what it was like to be anxious for the first time:
She had never had a role in rehearsing big plays at school, but the instructor made the reason very straightforward: "You look like a monkey, so it's best to Let’s talk about knocking out four of her upper teeth.”
The implication is that she is not suitable for acting.
With timidity and stubbornness, she was unwilling to meet the director or run the crew like other students. Young girls think that the anxiety caused by appearance cannot be provoked, but they can be hidden.
However, hiding does not solve the problem.
One day, her mother called her and asked her to borrow money. Only later did she realize: There is no ivory tower. The reason why she can escape anxiety is just the hard work of her family in exchange for short-term freedom.
She began to find work hard, and went to various theaters to recommend herself as a part-timer, throwing herself into every performance. Coincidentally, Shen Teng saw her intense interpretation and recommended her to be a substitute in the drama "Happy Twist ".
On the day of the meeting, Ma Li's "anxiety" happened again.
In her opinion, what Happy Twist wants is not a Northeastern female man, but a lady with delicate features.
She found a long skirt and high heels that were not suitable for her, and applied a thick layer of powder on herself.
Later, Shen Teng recalled that scene and couldn't help complaining: "The neck and face are not the same color. It scared me to death and I almost returned the product."
Having a new opportunity does not mean the end of the anxiety deep in his heart.
Although she successfully joined Happy Twist, Ma Li almost missed out on "Charlotte's Sorrow" because she was not pretty or famous enough;
"Charlotte's Sorrow" became an instant hit, but Ma Li, who was seen by more people, was even more... Many people criticized "you are too fat".When attending events, brand owners always throw the word "ugly" in front of Ma Li on the grounds that "lending clothes to Ma Li will lower the brand's reputation".
Under the pressure of the environment, she became more and more anxious and gradually couldn't see herself clearly.
In order to meet the public’s standard of thin and white, Ma Li, a girl who could eat a chicken for breakfast, refused to eat for a month. Hunxing;
In order to get rid of the assertion that "Ma Li can only act when she is with Shen Teng", she went to Hong Kong alone to cooperate with Louis Koo , and took the leading role in "The Shy Iron Fist " the following year; Ma Li Worked very hard and got results.
Her still photos appeared in men's clothing, and movies with zero content have high box office.
But netizens’ doubts triggered Ma Li’s inner anxiety again and again.
She is like a perpetual motion machine fighting everywhere. She even suffered from depression, going back and forth between comedy performances and depression, almost splitting.
When she actually stuffed herself into the S-size dress, she began to be confused:
The real Ma Li is a carefree man wearing L-size clothes. Why should she be led away by external public opinion and internal uneasiness? ?
She began to try to let go, not thinking about what to do in the future, and rarely thinking about what kind of comments she had received in the past, and she did not allow herself to hurt her body anymore.
What is clearer than her thoughts are her actions.
In 2017, when Ma Li was having a brilliant career, she disclosed her relationship with her boyfriend Xu Wenhe , who was 11 years younger than her.
Unsurprisingly, the Internet was full of emotions: "You are still young now, you will be abandoned when you get older", "I am an unknown actor, I am afraid that he is with you just to be famous."
This time she did not escape, resist, or obey.
is filming well and falling in love seriously according to the normal life trajectory.
A year later, the two got married.
While presenting two works for the CCTV Spring Festival Gala and "My Motherland and Me", Ma Li gave birth to her own child.
Today’s Ma Li has no trace of the timidity on her face. She openly teases her double chin and continues to stretch the boundaries of her performance. If life is a long road, she has already used her actions to change it into a spiraling ladder.
There are detours, but when you stand taller, the rumors around you cannot catch up; there are climbs, but because you are taking action, you have no time to worry.
In life, we like to use the word anxiety too much.
There are deviations in career, discord in relationships, and every little thing is enough to make us drown in anxiety.
How to face anxiety?
First of all, it is to accept yourself and fall in love with yourself.
Why are we anxious?
Because we are dissatisfied with ourselves and the current situation, this dissatisfaction extends and we begin to worry about the future and fear the future.
And this worry and fear has deeply affected our current lives.
We can’t see what we have now, and we can’t see the beauty of now.
In one sentence, it is: we cannot live in the present.
Only when we truly accept ourselves and fall in love with ourselves can we look at ourselves objectively, discover our own strengths, and see the direction of our change.
Otherwise, even if you try to change, you will just follow what others say, and you will not go in the right direction, and you will still fail in the end.
Failure to change will increase your anxiety.
Secondly, action cures anxiety.
Instead of weaving a scary future for ourselves, it is better to set a clear goal, return to ourselves, understand our needs and abilities, and then work hard on the ground.
This is true for career, and so is love.
The anxiety that follows you everywhere is actually a kind of bubble. Worry and suffering, right and wrong, love and hate are not important.
If you can’t see too far, just focus on what’s in front of you; if you don’t have the ability at the moment, acquire it bit by bit.
The most important thing is that we learn peace in daily life, find the antidote in down-to-earth, and live out ourselves behind the crowd.
No one would have thought that Ma Li, who was born in a small town and did not have thousands of beautiful faces, would be as successful as she is today.
She was once plagued by anxiety and drifted with the crowd. In the end, she returned to reality, returned to the present, accepted herself, and built her own life step by step.
This woman who can smile with a strong smile without filters or makeup tells us:
Don’t worry about the future, as long as you are willing to go out.
