In life, there are many people who do not want to owe favors. Once they receive help from others, they want to return it promptly. Otherwise, I feel uncomfortable all the time.
Among them, treating guests to dinner is the most common way.
I have read a sentence: "People who really want to help you don't want to get anything from you; people who really care about you will never ask you to repay his kindness."
Friendship between adults is easy The icing on the cake, but it is too difficult to provide help in times of need.
For a person who is kind to you, never simply treat him to dinner in return.
A friend of mine, Xiao Zao, told about an embarrassing experience of treating guests.
Xiaozao has been unemployed for a while. Just when she was at a loss, her former colleague Xiaogang helped introduce a job to her.
The relationship between Xiaozao and Xiaogang is not very close. She always felt that she owed Xiaogang a favor, so she wanted to treat Xiaogang to dinner to express her gratitude.
However, I invited Xiaogang several times, but Xiaogang always refused because he had no time.
Xiaozao is very grateful from the bottom of my heart. Once, she simply said to Xiaogang: "You decide the time and place. I'm available at any time."
Xiaogang couldn't refuse, so he chose a restaurant near his home.
But after dinner, when Xiaozao went to check out, she realized that Xiaogang had already paid.
This made Xiaozao feel extremely ashamed. Not only did she fail to repay her kindness, but it also added a new burden.
However, Xiaogang said something meaningful:
"There are always people coming and going, and it doesn't matter who pays the bill. When you can help a little, it's not a big help. I'm interested in your character and ability." You always want to buy me a meal in return, that's outrageous."
That's true.
People who really help you and care about you. No matter who you are, he hopes to help you get out of your current predicament, make you better, and make your friendship become true love.
There is a saying that goes well: "No matter how good a meal is, it cannot be measured by money, but kindness cannot be compared, and it is impossible to repay it."
Helping others is a matter of affection, but not helping is a duty. You can repay a favor by treating yourself to a meal, but it's not the only way.
Sometimes inviting someone to a meal is not only ineffective, but also takes up time from both parties, causes psychological pressure on the other party, and embarrasses the person helping you.
may even distance two people, greatly reducing friendship and making your relationship fragile.
It can be seen that the wisest way to repay the other party is to always keep the kindness in your heart.
Don't try to please, don't try to repay a favor. Once the other person is in need, I will do my best to lend a helping hand so that the other person's contribution has real meaning.
In many people's minds, troublesome others waste favors and make the relationship impure.
But if you are too independent, you will miss a lot of opportunities to connect with people.
Appropriate trouble will increase the frequency of contact between two people, but will promote feelings.
People who have helped you once will be willing to help you again; if you want the person you like to like you, ask her for a favor.
blogger Cui Cui has a deep understanding of "troubling others".
She once encountered a difficult matter and wanted to ask a friend for help. She was very nervous at first, worried that her friend would reject her, but she didn't expect that things would settle down a few days later.
Cui Cui was extremely grateful and didn't know how to repay her, but her friend said: "Thank you for thinking of me when I needed it. You made me feel sincerity and trust."
In fact, she and her friend have known each other for many years, and their relationship has always been tepid. Yes, since that time, the two people suddenly got closer.
There is a sentence in the book "Human Weakness": If you want your friendship to last, then you have to ask him to do some small things for you appropriately, which will make him feel present and needed.
The word "trouble", in addition to its literal meaning, also contains trust and need, proving the value of the other party and bringing satisfaction to the other party.
Good relationships are all caused by mutual troubles. The process of communication is the process of emotional warming.
Only by helping each other and being warm to each other can the relationship become closer.
