has a saying about marriage on the Internet: "Skills require certificates, talents do not need certificates; marriage requires certificates, but love does not require certificates. Understand that love is a kind of talent, and maintaining a marriage is a skill. "
Love is two people marriage is a matter between two families. In addition to being happy with each other, there are three essential points for a happy marriage.
01
Love can be impulsive, but marriage must be rational.
Balzac said: "Love regards happiness as the goal, while marriage regards the whole life as the goal." Therefore, feelings can be impulsive, but marriage must be rational.
At that time, in Hu Shi's office, Shen Congwen fell in love with Zhang Zhaohe at first sight. In order to catch up with Zhang Zhaohe, he wrote one love letter after another, making it known to everyone in the school.
At first, Zhang Zhaohe was annoyed by Shen Congwen's confession, but in the end Zhang Zhaohe was moved by Shen Congwen's persistence. After reading a 6-page love letter, she agreed to his pursuit.
Unfortunately, after the two got married, their relationship gradually faded, and Shen Congwen fell in love with another woman. Although he admitted his mistake to Zhang Zhaohe and the two continued to maintain their married life, their original feelings for each other had long since disappeared.
It was not until Shen Congwen's death that Zhang Zhaohe said: "Congwen and I are living together in this life, is it happiness or misfortune? If I can't get an answer, I don't understand him, I don't fully understand him."
Pursuing someone is love; Cherishing a person is marriage. Love can be impulsive, but marriage must be rational.
There are too many "I love you" in the world that eventually become "I'm sorry".
The real love story is not about who is more affectionate, but about who is more affectionate.
A happy marriage is a harbor for two people, not a siege for one person.
Let the person who marries you have peace of mind; let the person who marries you have no regrets in this life. It is the best evidence of a happy marriage.
02
Love can be exclusive, but marriage must be independent.
A netizen said: "Love has exclusivity and uniqueness." In love, one person wants to occupy another person's emotional world, and wishes that the other person's heart and eyes are all theirs. .
If love can be exclusive, then marriage must be independent. Because passionate love has a time limit, but marriage has no time limit.
When love comes to life and marriage becomes dull, individual independence is one of the best guarantees for happiness.
Model Meyer Musk, became a model at the age of 15 with her beautiful appearance. At the age of 21, she participated in the beauty pageant and won the Miss South Africa beauty pageant.
There are countless people pursuing Meyer . Among many suitors, she chose to marry her love, her high school classmate who worked in an ordinary job.
After her marriage, her husband interfered with Meyer's work for various reasons and did not allow her to have contact with the opposite sex. Meyer sought perfection in every possible way and gave birth to three children in succession. But the husband showed no restraint and even started to commit domestic violence.
Helpless Meyer learned from the pain and decided to divorce. He left his hometown alone with his three children and went to Canada to survive.
During the most difficult time, Meyer took care of his children while taking time out to work five odd jobs, and insisted on studying on his own. Eventually, Meyer obtained her nutritionist certificate and founded her own modeling agency.
Love is a matter of two people; happiness can also be done by one person.
The famous female entrepreneur, Dong Zhujun who founded " Jinjiang Hotel" wrote in her autobiography: "We can't rely on anyone else as much as ourselves. Only we can save ourselves, and only we can fulfill ourselves." ”
In life, the only constant is that everything and people change.
Independence is not only about economic conditions and personal dignity, but more importantly, an independent heart.
Independent people in marriage generally have several characteristics:
Emotional stability and the ability to think independently;
Having a fulfilling spiritual world of their own, a rich heart, and no absolute dependence on feelings;
Being financially independent and not dependent on others, they are Maintain sensitive awareness in family life and be able to manage your own desires appropriately.
Love may be exclusive because it is not the whole of life; marriage must be independent because it is the foundation of life.
Maintaining an independent self is the courage and bottom line for a person to face life.
03
Love can be imagined, but marriage must be practical.
Sanmao once said: "If love is not implemented in real life such as dressing, eating, counting money, and sleeping, it will not last forever."
Love can be imagined. , because love is full of water, but marriage must be practical, and daily firewood, rice, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar and tea are indispensable.
In the movie "Wu Hai", Miao Wei and Yang Hua were college classmates, and they got married because of love.
Miao Wei's parents were financially well off and helped them buy a wedding house, so they always despised Yang Hua for not being able to make Miao Wei live a good life and would speak coldly to him.
Later, Yang Hua borrowed a loan shark because his business failed. When he was being collected for debt, he did not dare to tell his wife or his parents.
Yang Hua has no income and cannot afford family expenses. The two often quarreled over trivial matters in life.
One day, the two had an argument in the car again. In anger, Yang Hua drove Miao Wei out of the car. Losing his mind, he reversed the car and knocked Miao Wei off the cliff.
Yang Hua, who had accompanied Miao Wei on the rooftop to watch the stars, was trapped in life and could not break through, so he ended his love with his own hands.
Romance can be the icing on the cake; in life, you need help when it matters most.
There is a saying in " Pride and Prejudice ": "Marriage without considering material things is stupid, and marriage that only considers material things is absurd."
A happy marriage can neither make stupid choices nor make stupid choices. Ridiculous choice.
Having both is what a happy marriage looks like.
In every happy marriage, in addition to the mutual love, there will also be reason to shoulder the responsibilities of the marriage; there will also be independence from each other to accompany the growth of the marriage; and the ability to fight to protect the marriage. .
It is not difficult to meet love and understanding in life. The difficult thing is that after meeting love and understanding, we can still cherish each other and work together together.
I hope you are in love and the person you love happens to love you too. It is your lifelong mission to be able to stay with the person you marry, accompany each other, grow together, and be happy together.
About the author: Yiwen, loves life, loves words, and writes about all the beautiful things. Published prose collections "Orchid in the Empty Valley" and "Those Little Happy Things".
