Hello everyone, what I want to contribute today is definitely the most outrageous thing that I have ever experienced in my twenty-seven years of life: My boyfriend of 8 years cannot afford a million-dollar dowry because I am not a Wenzhou girl. , so he didn’t agree with us being together. My boyfriend told me, “Let’s both calm down for a while.” Three days later, he officially announced his new relationship on WeChat Moments...
I’m...
My name is pp, I am 27 years old, from Shaoxing, Zhejiang Province. I have graduated from university for four years and am currently working in operations. My boyfriend is now my ex. His name is W. He is the same age as me. He is from Wenzhou, Zhejiang and works as an engineering estimator. We have been together for almost eight years since our freshman year. The above is the background of the story.
and W met in the school freshmen group at that time. Because we both liked playing Werewolf , and we chatted in the group, we privately added QQ, and then we chatted and got together. . Although W is very mature, our personalities are very similar, both can be quiet and active, and our hobbies are similar, so we get along very well and our relationship has always been very good.
My family runs a supermarket. Although my financial situation is average, maybe because I am an only child, my parents have doted on me since I was a child. I thought that W’s family background was similar to mine, but during the process of falling in love, I gradually discovered that W’s family background was actually better than mine. His parents made furniture and had a considerable income. W’s sister studied abroad, and he usually wore The ones used are not cheap either. But he is not the kind of person to show off, so I didn’t notice it at first.
During our relationship, W was very generous to me. He would always pay for meals, movies and shopping, and he would also give me gifts on anniversaries. But since we have been together for so long, it is impossible for him to give unilaterally. I also gave him something of the same value in return. After all, it is normal to reciprocate.
The headphones I am using now are the ones he bought for me.
I have a college roommate who is also from Wenzhou. She used to say in the dormitory, Wenzhou has a strong preference for boys over girls, and marriage is very important for being well-matched. I asked W and he denied this statement, but I was still worried. After all, we fell in love with the intention of getting married. But all my worries disappeared in my senior year when I met W’s family.
At that time, his sister had just returned to China, and the family had a dinner together, and W took me with her. The atmosphere at the dinner table was very relaxed. His family members are very nice. They gave me a meeting gift and kept actively looking for topics to chat. Before leaving, his mother even told W to take good care of me. After dinner, we went back to school. W said that his family all liked me, so I felt quite happy at the time, at least his parents were over.
After graduating from college, W and I came to Hangzhou to work together. Everything went smoothly and we lived together naturally. We go out together every morning, cook, watch TV shows, and sleep together when we get home from work, and go out together on weekends. We are busy when we should be busy, and we are leisurely when we should be leisurely. In short, we are very satisfied with our current living situation. About half a year after coming to Hangzhou, we raised a little Satsuma and named her Ali.
In the next two or three years, we met both parents and would visit each other during holidays. Our classmates and friends all think that we will definitely get married, it’s just a matter of sooner or later. Of course, we think so ourselves. Compared to his parents, my parents were actually more anxious. They felt that it would not sound good if the news spread that girls were living together without status, so they urged us several times to get the certificate. But I never took their words at heart. I have been thinking about my relationship for so many years, and I don’t care about the sense of security given by that piece of paper.
Let’s go to my house for dinner
More than half a year ago, my boyfriend started to return to Wenzhou frequently. At first, I thought something happened to his family. Later, I asked several times, but he hesitated and did not answer me directly.
Once I checked his cell phone and found out that every time he came home, he went on a blind date. Because of this incident, we had a big fight. I even proposed breaking up, and he confessed that it was his parents who forced him. It turns out that his family didn’t agree with us at all. The reason was that they didn’t want to “help the poor.” Because I was not a local, I couldn’t afford the millions of dowry money that Wenzhou people pay to marry their daughters.
After listening to what he said, I felt angry and sad. What I was angry about was their family’s double-faced style. Wasn’t it appropriate to treat me as a spare tire? What is sad is the relationship between W and I. We had been together for seven years at that time. To be honest, there are several seven years in life. When I think about us being separated in the future, I feel really panicked. That night, W and I talked a lot, and he also expressed his attitude: Even if my parents object, he must insist on being with me.
But it is easier said than done. The consequence of insisting on being with me is that he will no longer go home for blind dates, and his parents often quarrel with him because of this matter and openly oppose us. His sister even directly Blocked me.
For a long time, both of us were extremely worried about this matter. I know there is no shortage of that kind of Meteor Garden-style love in the world that says, "Even if I am the enemy of the whole world, I will be with you." But in reality, when you really encounter a relationship that is blocked by your family and your parents don't support it, the process is really... It will be very painful. W would receive a call from his parents almost every night. He never told me exactly what he said, but thinking about it, it couldn’t be anything good.
And my parents kept urging us to get certificates and get married. One time they really annoyed me, so I had to tell everything. learned about his parents' attitude, and my parents began to persuade us to break up. said that W's family would not have a good life even if we got married together in the future. But I didn't listen to them. All I could think about was that this was a tug of war and I had to persist.
During the Chinese New Year this year, it was the first time since graduation that W and I spent the Chinese New Year separately. He went to his house and I went to mine. There were very few phone calls and videos. The reason was that W said that as long as he touched his phone, his mother would be chatting at home. Nagging. And my family kept trying to persuade me to forget it, forget it, and break up. Later, my best friend asked me to secretly collect the certificate from W. His parents were helpless, but W said that his family was probably afraid that he would have such thoughts and had locked up his household registration book. got up.
One night a week ago, we were watching TV at home, and W received another call from his mother. After hanging up the phone, he suddenly said to me "Let's calm down for a while. My mother is sick and I have to go home." Things are always prioritized, so at that time I paid more attention to the fact that W's mother was sick than "let's calm down for a while". I immediately helped W pack his luggage and sent him out. Before leaving, he reminded me as before, asking me to set my alarm clock and not be late for work tomorrow.
The message I sent him
In fact, in the past six months, W and I have been very tired of each other, the pressure from both parents, and the odds and ends in life, so I feel that what he said to me to "calm down" is actually not An unexpected thing. But I was still very confident at the time and felt that as long as we figured it out, we could continue to be together. After all, our relationship was fine.
In those days, W didn’t send me a message, and I didn’t look for him. When I saw his message again, it was on May 20, in his own WeChat Moments. He posted a picture of a strange girl’s back at the beach, with the text: Someone is watching the sea with her.
I read that Moments message many times to confirm that it was my boyfriend and that he was not sending it to me. Then my brain seemed to have shut down. I sent him a screenshot and asked him what it was. Then I called him via WeChat and was hung up on. When I checked his Moments again, I found that the post was gone. I kept sending him messages and he ignored me. Just when I was about to collapse and go to Wenzhou to find him, he replied to me.
In this extremely sad half year, I didn’t think that maybe we would break up, but I never thought about it. He and I didn’t break up. We were just separated for three days, and he could announce his new girlfriend in the circle of friends. He keeps saying "I'm too tired", "People have to look forward" and "This is life". Is he the only one who is tired these days? I found that even though we have been together for 8 years, I never seem to understand this person...
It has been almost a week. I have contacted the agent and am looking for a new house. I have been working as usual these days. When I was sorting things out, I found that we had bought all the things in the house together. I felt uncomfortable keeping them. If I didn’t need them, I would have thrown away the whole house.
In two days, I will take Ahri with me to move. At first, he was the one who wanted to buy Ahri, and he was the one who named her. He was the one who said he wanted to keep Ahri for the rest of his life, but now, he has not even asked. One sentence. I have not contacted W again. He rents the house. It is up to him to do whatever he wants from now on. The article is over. I don’t know what to say to end it. I don’t know what to say when giving some suggestions. I can’t remind everyone not to look for people from Wenzhou in the future, haha. Forget it, I wish you all peace and joy and get what you want.
❤️
