What are you looking for a man for?
Many women think that finding a man and getting married is to find a support.
It seems that with the existence of that man, I can rely on everything.
This is also the concept that many parents will tell their daughters, they must find a good place to marry!
Many sisters who have been cheated will feel that their man has fallen in love with others and they have nothing to rely on.
Although society has long begun to promote equality between men and women, the sense of dependence rooted in women's hearts has not changed.
If you always insist on marrying someone in your heart, and then make the other person responsible for your life, you will easily fall into a dangerous situation.
Because reality is always cruel, it will teach you how to face setbacks.
And those women who are lucky enough to be favored by their husbands, you will find that they never rely too much on a man, on the contrary, they will always work hard to realize their own value.
When Peng Peng first joined the group, he was in a terrible state. Every day, she repeats the things she found out about her husband cheating.
The two have been married for 8 years and have a lovely son. After the marriage husband was busy with his career, Peng Peng resigned and returned home. Husband and son with one heart, the husband is really good to Peng Peng.
Not only did the wages be handed in, but the housework and the children were never left behind.
When we got married,A man is Peng Peng's ideal type, so that she feels that she has found her true life.
After marriage, Peng Peng was spoiled by a man as a little princess. She felt that she was really happy!
has a husband who loves him so much, and a beautiful and happy family.
Peng Peng's usual life is to take care of the family, then buy and buy, and enjoy the life of a housewife.
never thought that one day, the husband betrayed him.
Yes, Peng Peng smelled danger. She discovered the ambiguous chat history between the man and another woman, as well as the transfer history.
Peng Peng was sad, but also scared. She is very afraid that her husband will no longer love herself, and will no longer treat herself well.
later went to a showdown with her husband, and the man admitted. But the man said that he was with the third party, as if he had recovered himself. He will stay married with Peng Peng and will not divorce, but he will not break three. He is in love with that woman.
If Peng Peng can't stand it, he can choose to divorce.
Peng Peng, who heard this remark, really did not expect her husband to become like this. She can't bear that the man's heart is not on her. She is very painful, divorced, or not divorced, she doesn't know where to go.
Since the confession, the husband often does not go home and ignores Peng Peng. Peng Peng wanted to make peace with a man, but her self-esteem prevented her from doing lowly behaviors.
In addition to the men who still pay Peng Peng every month,This person seemed to disappear completely.
When she was alone, Peng Peng recalled the bits and pieces that they had walked along the way, as if a hole had been dug away in her heart, she even felt that she was always making small tempers that made men stop loving herself NS.
If you change it yourself, the man will turn back.
But every time a man comes home, Peng Peng’s inner resentment makes her want to get angry and quarrel with the man.
In this way, the relationship between the two is deteriorating, and the number of men going home has plummeted... How could he treat himself so cruelly!
After this experience, Peng Peng, in his early 30s, looks like 50 years old alive. His face is haggard, his eyes are dull, and he often looks at a place without knowing what he is thinking.
Sister Si accompanies Peng Peng all the way from the pain and sadness at the beginning, and helps her sort out her emotions whenever there is a relapse. Slowly, I also began to accept reality.
She knew that she was too dependent on men before. And now she has to learn to be independent slowly.
has been not working at home, and there is no source of income, so the economy has no confidence. So she needs to find a job to make herself money. In taking care of the children, Peng Peng is also trying to see for himself, and solve the family's affairs by himself.
Gradually, Peng Peng pays less and less attention to men and has less resentment towards him.
Indeed, it is very happy to find a man who loves and treats himself well.But when he chooses to cheat and is no longer good to you, he is dumbfounded.
He can easily give it to you, and can easily give it to others.
But we who depend on him have to suffer heart-wrenching pain.
1. Dependence is easy for people to fall into nowhere.
Many sisters, including Peng Peng, will feel that they are married and find a man, and life will be a pinch.
Men are our backbone and can help us solve all problems.
But this dependence is too heavy, and it makes us slack.
When a problem occurs, can't we solve it by ourselves?
When you want a man to help you solve a problem, but they refuse, will you feel resentful?
thinks he shouldn’t be like this, he can’t do this... Be the master of your own life and be responsible for yourself.
In the past, we were just used to letting others help us, but it didn't mean we didn't have this ability.
Sometimes, you underestimate yourself.
When this man is no longer reliable,Can we only be beaten passively?
No!
We can still not depend on it!
Second, no one is as reliable as oneself, dispel the illusion of relying on others
People will change. The man who says that he will treat you well and love you for a lifetime will also be One day changed.
You can’t guarantee that he will love you forever, right?
He will not treat him well because you treat him well, he will treat you well.
His behavior is under his own control. If he wants to be nice to you, then you are lucky. But what if he doesn't want to be nice to you?
is like he cheated, because he thinks it has nothing to do with you.
cheating can make him feel excited and happy, so he is out.
Similarly, he goes home because it brings him benefits and because he wants to come back. It's that simple.
Both parties in the marriage have the responsibility to maintain this relationship, but it is his own responsibility to derail.
No matter how you change yourself and turn yourself into a good wife of 24 filial piety, he should want to cheat, or he will.
So oh, Beng wanted to change him, it was useless.
Sister Si has been exposed to thousands of cases here,I also saw various reasons for derailment.
Some men said that they had never played before marriage, and they got married after sleeping with a woman. They felt that they were so terrified that they began to linger in various tender villages after marriage.
Some sisters feel that they have met a good man who can rely on, and his character is also good, but after marriage, the man said that he had lived too much in this life and wanted to live for himself. I met a woman I loved deeply and didn't want to give up.
Of course, there are also men who have played enough before marriage, although they did feel the unprecedented warmth when they first entered the marriage. But after a while, I started to return to the old business again, and I feel that men are like this now, and it doesn't matter if I play with myself.
Until now, do you still think men can rely on it?
Of course, we are still looking forward to the beauty of love and we are also worthy of trust. But you can't guarantee that this man can be consistent. If one day he changes, do you have the ability to switch tracks and turn around?
maintain a sense of crisis, have plan A and plan B, and truly take control of their own life.
With this confidence, you can live smartly and freely. You can not only fall into a deep love with someone, but also get away from a bad relationship at any time.
Just like that sentence, we have to live our own light and no longer rely on anyone.
Sisters like Peng Peng, I hope you can all realize that there are still decades to come, and you can live the time in the future.
no longer regards relying on men as a lifelong necessity,Instead, put your energy on yourself, let yourself have three independent abilities, and know how to live for yourself.
Third, dependence is a poison. If you quit this poison, you will gain power
. First, this is your duty. The man is responsible for working hard to earn money to support the family, and the woman is to be the stable rear of the man.
If the family marriage is managed well, it represents the victory of life.
However, the education of a male family never teaches him to be a good husband, to take good care of his wife and children, but to focus more on his career.
And men will feel that with money, there is no shortage of women.
It is precisely because men and women have different views on marriage that led to many later conflicts.
Just like Peng Peng, she is also indoctrinated by her family to be a good wife, find a good man to love and love herself, just be a little woman by herself.
But her husband's sudden change of heart caught Peng Peng by surprise, and her entire life has undergone a radical change.
Sister Si also understands that everyone depends on men, but once a man cheats, relying on him will really hurt herself.
Are you really unable to live without a man? Do you have to have this man in your life?
After we do enter into an intimate relationship, we tend to rely on the other half,It's like relying on my parents when I was young.
But we are grown-ups now, and we still need to be like children. If something goes wrong, ask an adult for help? Can't it be solved by yourself?
The light bulb at home is broken. Wouldn't you try to change it? If you don’t, can’t you consult others? Or let someone help you?
Do you have to ask this man?
You regard him as your life-saving straw, it is really dangerous.
After being cheated, those who only know how to cry and scold men, they just feel helpless and scared. In fact, after regaining your sanity, you will find that you are much stronger than you think. Many problems in life can be solved by ourselves.
Stop being that naive child!
Four, three methods teach you to quit dependence
1. Learn to be independent and master the direction of life
self-independent, but once a lot of women are independent in Once intimacy is established, I begin to become accustomed to relying on the other half.
You must know that we and men are two separate individuals, and will always be, and will not change because of the change in the positioning of your relationship.
If you rely on him too much, I think over time, he will feel stressed and tired, and women will be full of complaints.
Even many women who are already financially independent,She will also be a little girl emotionally, and it's easy to meet bad guys.
So we need to be financially independent and emotionally independent.
Don't expect to find a man to rely on, and pinch this thought out.
If you want stability, you can only rely on yourself. We cannot let others control our emotions easily.
shouldn't put his life arrow keys on men.
does not rely on him, always pays attention to myself, makes my life full and happy, and makes myself an independent woman, free from the mercy of others.
2, clarify the main line, think about how to use men
After a man derails, as the original partner, you must realize that he is already our enemy. If you continue to rely on him, then It's really going to end badly.
analogy you are at work, after being betrayed by a colleague, what would you do? Will you stay away from this person?
The same goes for feelings.
Many sisters still struggle with whether a man loves herself or not.
It’s really hard to wake up!
Still talking about love with the enemy? Are you afraid that he will "kill" you?
we need to be clear,Stop talking about feelings with him, but consider what value this man has for us.
Marriage is to serve our lives.
Can he help you with money? Can I help you take care of the baby? Does his network help you?
If you can watch your children, can you save time and develop yourself vigorously?
to start a career, if you really get divorced, can you raise yourself and your children?
The most important thing is how you plan to live your life in the future.
Everyone loved each other in the past, and it passed. But from now on, I will never love him anymore. We must work hard to earn money, work hard to enrich ourselves, let people regenerate the main line, and fill the future life.
3, no longer dependent on men, broaden the life dimension
In the process of getting along with men using the triad , we gradually ceased to rely on and care about men. At this time, the man began to look back, and many sisters began to rely on them again, and all previous efforts were lost.
If he is good to you, you start to rely on it, and if you are not good to you, you give up. Isn't that his control of emotions?
In the rest of our life, we don't have to be with him. Even if we don't get divorced, we still have to walk the future alone.
for his dependence,You only need to reduce a little bit each time, and focus on your own future, then this kind of dependence will become less and less.
People's life is too long. Not only are marriages and men, there are more wonderful things. Such as careers, such as new circles.
There are so many things that can be expanded, and there are many meaningful things that are worth doing.
If you are not financially capable, you can work hard to make money and broaden your horizons. You can also pay attention to other aspects of yourself and see if there is room for improvement.
Women in the new era can't be in love all day long. Blindly in love is just the right thing for a scumbag.
And we have to live with ourselves, to be colorful and full of fun.
The future is promising. The past has become the past. In the future, we have enough options to start a new life.
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