Text/An Dongyue
-
Under what circumstances would you contact someone?
I think there are only two situations: one is that I have something to look for; the other is that I miss him.
The other way round, the person who actively contacts you will either find you for something or miss you.
Is there such a person who used to contact you if he had anything to do, and talked casually, and there was always more to say.
You are not the kind of person who likes to take the initiative, so most of the time you wait for him to take the initiative to contact yourself.
When he contacts himself, you will be full of joy and enthusiastic response.
You like to chat with him, like the feeling of being remembered and cared by others.
Gradually, you have become dependent on him. If there is no news from him for a day, you will feel that something is missing.
Later, for some reason, he took the initiative to find you fewer and fewer times, until he never took the initiative to contact you again.
That kind of loss, that kind of heartache, there is nowhere to tell, no one can understand. You can only sigh silently, or pretend to be relaxed, and laugh...
01. When a person no longer actively contacts you, he may be testing you
someone who actively contacts you,There must be you in my heart. The more frequent the contact, the more important you are in his heart.
If a person used to contact you often, but then inexplicably stops taking the initiative, it may be because you said something unpleasant to him, or your indifferent attitude to him hurts his heart.
In order to test your heart, restrain your feelings, deliberately alienate you, to see if you will be flustered and sad because of his disappearance.
to see if you will let go of your reserve and pride and take the initiative to contact him.
He waits and waits expectantly, you hesitate and wonder if you should take the initiative.
He pretends to be upright, you pretend to be indifferent. Over time, the two people get farther and farther, lose intersection and become strangers.
What a pity? pity.
sorry? Regret.
But is it useful? No.
The missed person can never be found again; the cold heart can never be warmed again.
People cannot always be in a passive position. They must be active when they should be active. At least you have to figure out what the other person really thinks before you decide to stay.
Only in this way can there be no regrets.
02. When a person no longer actively contacts you, maybe you are no longer important
Some people,Do things for three minutes, and treat people with enthusiasm for three minutes.
At first I thought you were like a beautiful magazine, and I couldn't help but want to turn it over, praise, care, and inquire about you, trying to understand everything about you.
He makes you feel very attractive. For a while, your vanity is satisfied, and your affection for him has also risen sharply.
You are happy and greedy the feeling of getting along with him, faintly looking forward to a further relationship with each other.
However, he not only failed to meet your expectations, but also deeply hurt your heart.
He went from no longer enthusiastic to perfunctory, from perfunctory to neglect, and finally disconnected.
Once, he took the initiative to contact you. Now, you take the initiative to contact him, but you always fall silent and there is no answer.
You can’t figure out why he became like this. Is it because he did something wrong, or is he not sincere?
You want to verify, but you don't have the courage to reveal the answer. You can only suppress the complicated mood and endure it alone.
If you have worked hard and still cannot get a clear answer, it can only show that you are no longer important in his heart.
Maybe, he once really liked you, but he hasn't reached the point where he has to be.
In this case, one is different and two are wide, and everyone is happy, which is the best ending.
03. When a person no longer actively contacts you,Learn to distinguish, don't have to struggle
People must have their own judgment. Not only feelings, but everything must be present, otherwise it is easy to fall into passivity.
When a person approaches you proactively, you have to use your own experience and wisdom to accurately determine the other party's true intentions, so as to make a reasonable response.
When a person starts to alienate you, don't rush to feel sad, think more, but take the initiative to ask the reasons, and then decide what to do next.
People have self-esteem. They are afraid of being blinded and rejected. They would rather be arrogant and lonely than ask why.
After all, I am still too weak in my heart to face bad results.
However, losing someone unclearly, a relationship, there will always be a knot in my heart, never happy.
Therefore, when a person no longer actively contacts you, you must first learn to distinguish, find out the possible causes, and verify one by one. You can do whatever the result is, without entanglement, let alone entanglement.
Someone might say, what if you never get an answer?
I want to say that there is no question that has no answer, it depends on whether you have enough savvy.
Mu Xin There is a saying: "If you ask someone a question, and he doesn't answer the question, he has already answered it. There is no need to ask any more." Those who understand naturally understand, but they are afraid of knowing it well.He deceived himself and others.
If a person once treated you well but later became alienated, I hope you look down on it.
The fate between people is fixed. The gathering, separation, separation and reunion are never controlled by others.
Rather than being sad, it is better to look down on yourself and treat yourself well.
May you be strong enough in your heart, and be calm and indifferent.
-END-
.
