I'm still married, so it's part of cooperative parenting. Of course, I know very well that this state will not last long, and I will still leave the marriage. Simply put, he doesn't want to change, I don't want to endure it, and I don't want to accept my fate. I have always agreed that only when I have a good life can I take care of the people around me, including children and parents.
Let me talk about myself first. I am 34 years old this year, married for 9 years, and have a daughter who is less than 3 years old. Independent since childhood, his personality is casual but sensitive at the same time, and his emotional needs are relatively high. The education he received since childhood is to rely on himself in everything, so his inner world is strong, and he (let's call it T) in marriage becomes inactive. It's getting stronger and stronger, and now my daughter and I are in the same state with or without T.
T and I came from campus to get married, and we wrote a divorce agreement on Valentine's Day this year, but since there is no one at home to help, we can't balance work and child care, so we haven't talked about it. T saw it by chance and was unable to quarrel with him. He listened to his complaints silently and negotiated rationally. After 2 hours, he agreed to divorce after a year, and the child custody would belong to me.
The reason why he insists on divorce is that he cannot provide emotional value and economic value. Of course, he is not without merit. He is careful and can do some housework, but he has a strong sense of economic crisis with him, and he can always carry me behind his back. owe money.
I met him outside of marriage (call him H) at the beginning of 17 years, now 37 years old, divorced for 9 years, there is a daughter with him, when we first met, he chased (perhaps more accurately) me, and persisted until After I gave birth in 18 years, he disconnected after he sent a message of blessing.
After having a child, I have been taking care of my child full-time by myself. For 20 years, I was in a bad mood and would lose control at any time, so I wanted to divert my attention and sent him a Happy Holidays ( National Day ), he replied in seconds, and then All kinds of chats, knowing that I am in a bad mood, will chat with me every day.
Slowly, my mood improves, and of course I have a certain dependence on him. But since we were in different places, it was difficult to meet, until I went to see him in 21 years. The 5 days I spent with him were the happiest time in the past two years. I liked the little details that he took care of me, and I liked that he hugged me to sleep, even if I woke up in the middle of the night, he always hugged me.
was fortunate enough to meet Huo Yang in the process of meeting H and chatting with him again in 20 years, so that I did not have so many self-attacks. Of course, I also know that to H, I'm just a passerby of him. His job and status determine that he has no shortage of women.
But I am still grateful for meeting him. He is like the brightest and warmest guiding light I encountered when I was in the dark. It made me quickly get out of the dark and see the light. I am now well adjusted. Therefore, when he encountered difficulties in his business, I took the initiative to lend him 50,000 yuan (he didn't ask me to borrow it at the time, I gave it to him on my own initiative, and he repeatedly rejected me and said he lost when he was angry).
It's not that I haven't thought that he is a liar, after all, there are many psychological shadows in the story. When I lent him money, I went to check on him. The financial difficulties he encountered were not small, tens of millions, but I was still willing to give it to him. When I gave it to him, I thought about it. Also admit, count me as a thank you.
We stopped contacting since May this year. I know there are two reasons. One is that he said he would give me the money at the end of April, but he didn’t have enough money, so he didn’t know how to deal with me. Not in the mood to talk about feelings.
Another point, I must divorce, not because of H. Up to now, I still occasionally think of him, what he is doing, and whether he is socializing at the wine table again. It is estimated that I will still miss him for a long time in the future, but I will not look for him or disturb him. Loving him is just my thing, and I don't want him to love me because of this, I just wish he could be better!
summed it up. The reason why we have passed this special time gracefully is as follows: (thanks to the text of fire raising)
First, there is no deadlock with marriage, even if we are divorced, we are still children my parents;
Second, I communicated with my parents and family about the divorce in advance, and it is more reassuring and warm to have family support;
Third, I don’t care if H loves me or not, but more about my own feelings (this is very Important, life is lived by myself);
Fourth, even if others do not treat me kindly, I have to treat myself kindly and treat life well (to put it simply, if a dog bites you, you cannot bite a dog);
Currently Work and living conditions are not bad. Recently, I met a little milk dog, and I am also learning more new things. Only by maintaining my learning ability can I grow. I don't actually have anything to ask, I just want to talk and put an end to this relationship.
