The three children in the TV series " Big Test " are impressive, and they compete with their parents in their own way.
Zhou Bowen, his father Zhou Meiren has been playing games since he can remember, and he has not changed until he took the college entrance examination. His mother didn't care about this, but was content. Therefore, he wanted to hold on to his mother and he wanted to take care of this sensible father.
Tian Wenwen, her parents left her in her hometown because they were unable to do so. She grew up with her grandmother and was marked as "sensible" since she was a child. Until her mother peeked at her phone, her anger and frustrated suddenly broke out.
Wu Jiajun faces Tiger Mom every day and always stays with him, making him feel unable to breathe. He has put all his thoughts in order to take the art exam.
The three families have different communication methods, but the results do not seem to be very good. So, how can interpersonal communication be effective in daily life?
We live in this increasingly diverse world, and everyone will encounter some communication problems to a greater or lesser extent. In this book "Interpersonal Communication in Daily Life" by American author Julia T. Wood, it points out that as long as we make a small adjustment in communication, we have the opportunity to improve communication problems in interpersonal communication.
The author uses a lively interactive method to provide solutions to various communication situations, and is accompanied by a large number of self-test exercises and situational simulations. Readers can practice self-study to improve their communication skills.
so, how can communication in family life be effective?
01 Improve Interpersonal communication skills Guidance
Communication skills emphasize suitability, and the communication method should be determined according to the occasion and object. In different situations, the goals of communication are different. They may be to explain ideas, comfort friends, defend their ambitions, raise their salary in the workplace, or persuade others. The more effective the communication is, the more likely it is to achieve your goals.
Five important skills help improve communication skills:
cultivate a variety of communication skills; adopt appropriate communication methods; adopt dual perspectives; supervise the communication process; pay attention to the morality of communication.
02 Guiding principle for effectively expressing emotions
Emotion is our feelings and interpretation of inner emotions. It is influenced by physiology, concepts, language, stance and social experiences and plays an important role in our emotional life.
Emotional expression guidance can not only promote our personal growth, but also improve the quality of our relationship with others.
Six guiding principles for effectively expressing emotions:
Principle 1: Determine your emotions
classifies the complex emotions you feel, determine which emotion is your main emotion, and that is the dominant emotion, so that you can accurately transmit your emotional state to others.
Principle 2: Choose whether and when to express emotions
weigh different ways of expressing emotions and choose the most effective way from them. Four principles help express emotions: assess your current state; decide who to express your emotions to; choose the right time to discuss emotions; choose the right place to discuss emotions.
Principle 3: Control your own emotions
When using "I" language to describe our feelings about a certain behavior of others, it is easier for the other party to listen carefully and respond to our emotional expressions with an understanding.
Principle 4: Monitor your self-dialogue
Self-dialogue is self-communication, self-dialogue when conducting emotional work. You can convince yourself to feel or not feel, and express or not express certain emotions through self-dialogue. Learning to listen and monitor self-conversation can help manage your emotions and make yourself aware of the relationship between thoughts and emotions.
Principle 5: Adopt rational-emotion therapy
Cognition depends on emotions, and emotions depend on cognition. Our views on emotions will also affect our emotions. We can adopt rational emotional therapy between thinking and emotions, which is divided into four steps to monitor emotional reactions; find similarities in the situation; listen to self-talk and think; and challenge irrational thinking.
Principle 6: Sensitively respond to other people's emotions
Effective expression of emotions is only half of the effective communication process, and you also need to listen and respond skillfully when others share emotions with you.
03 Guidelines for effective family communication
Each family faces different challenges and solutions vary greatly. Although the family has diversity , most families can still follow four guidelines for communication.
Guideline 1: Maintaining fair family relationships
Putting fairness and reason first is one of the important guidelines for maintaining a healthy family life. The responsibility of supporting a family should not fall entirely or mainly on a certain person, and one cannot enjoy most of the sweetness of family life.
Guideline 2: Make good daily choices and enhance intimacy
Pay attention to daily opportunities to enrich family relationships. Often seemingly subtle choices are weaved into the basic form of the family.
Guideline 3: Express respect and understanding
In order to maintain the health and harmony of the family, members need to continue to express their importance and respect for their families. When communicating with our family, we need to pay attention to our moral choices.
Guideline 4: Don’t worry about small things
If we want a healthy and active family life, we must take the initiative to ignore small things that inevitably make people upset or frustrated when we are with our family, save some energy and keep doing big things.
This book allows us to recognize the power of communication, learn to manage emotions, deal with conflicts, effectively participate in interpersonal interactions, form healthy interpersonal relationships, and knowing how to examine our communication methods is also a process of examining our inner self, so as to face life more freely.
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