Hello everyone, I am the parenting treasure jun
Today, I took Tongtong to buy things in the supermarket. I saw a mother quarrel with her son. The son wanted to go to the supermarket to buy toys, but the mother said that the child had already bought it yesterday, so she insisted not to buy toys for the child. Seeing this, the child stopped doing it immediately. He started crying on the ground. The mother had no choice but to see it, and later she had to buy it for the child. The child was also easy to coax and stopped crying after buying it.
Mother bought it and told the boss that the child was spoiled by the elderly. Every time the child cried and asked for something, he would be satisfied. Now he has developed the way of crying to meet his needs. He feels that the child has the habit of crying willfulness, and now he is thinking about changing the willfulness problem for his child, but grandma is spoiling, which makes education even more difficult.
believe that willfulness will appear on every child. As long as the child cries, parents will be at a loss. Tongtong at home once made a noise and didn’t take a shower. A cute little girl turned into a little divine beast. We were helpless at the time. Sometimes they chose to reason, and sometimes they indulged their children.
Many families now have this feeling. Nowadays, children are more willful and crying. Parents love this child very much. Even if they do too much, sometimes they are still reluctant to beat and scold them. Some children will become more serious, and when they grow up, they will become more serious. Some will turn against their families. Therefore, there must be reasons for parents' education for their children to be willful. Therefore, our guidance is crucial. We must teach children to solve problems in a reasonable and legal manner.
Why do we generally find that some children have willful behavior after they reach the age of 3?
1. The sprout of children's self-awareness
When children reach 2-3 years old, we will find that children have their own ideas and opinions, and their behaviors and ideas have a great self-colored . In fact, this is a manifestation of children's growth and exploration of the world. When children have self-awareness, children begin to have their own behaviors and ideas. We find that some children want to wear autumn clothes and pants downstairs in winter. If they don't understand children at this time, we will feel that they willful, because the children's self-awareness is gradually developing, psychologically immature, and their behavior is somewhat willful, but it is in line with the age of the child. Therefore, we will find that children have more willful behaviors.
At this time, we must understand children. Some "willfulness" is reasonable, but we can take this opportunity to discover and guide children.
Tongtong wanted to see the snow on a snowy day and wanted to wear Frozen clothes. It was really cold at the moment, but the child insisted on wearing it, so we couldn't resist him. Later, she had to let the child try it, but as soon as she reached the stairs, she knew it was cold, so she quickly came back to change clothes. We talked to the child about the temperature and seasons, and the child became clearer through this tossing.
2. The family opinions are not unified, and they spoil their children too much
Nowadays, most families are very fond of their children. Once Ranran did not eat well in kindergarten. Ranran's mother said that the teacher would help me take care of it. The child recently lived with his grandparents. As long as Ranran cried, the child would not eat if he wanted to eat. If he wanted to watch TV, he would watch TV. His habits were particularly bad. Ranran's mother took care of it, and his grandparents would pamper the children while he was there, and Ranran's mother could not educate him.
In fact, this is most of the reason why many children are willful. Many parents are very rational, but some older generations will involuntarily lose their principles when they love their children. These are most of the reasons why many children are willful.
When facing children's willfulness, some parents choose to pamper, which makes their children become more willful. Some parents choose to use beating and scolding to attack their children's behavior, so that some children will become inferior and unstable in their personalities and become submissive.
But we cannot ignore children's willfulness, so we guide them effectively and correctly, and need children to solve problems in the right way, and the relationship between children and our parent-child relationship will have a healthy development.
1. Understand children, distinguish human nature from children, explore freely
William Cork said that willfulness is not the fault of children, the root cause is that parents do not pay attention to their children's psychological needs.
Many times children are noisy and willful because they have inner needs to explore. At this time, we must analyze the children's psychology. If children like to scribble, it may be that the sensitive period for painting has come. We should not disturb the children because of this criticism, but instead discourage their enthusiasm and make wrong judgments on this matter.
2. Role exchange allows children to perceive some willfulness
In fact, in education, there is a very good educational concept, role-playing. We can stage a small willful scene in front of children in our daily communication, such as if the child throws things around if he doesn't want to take a shower, so that the child can feel more realistically that he is wrong and his behavior is impolite.
And when children do willful behaviors lead to some damage, we can use punishment methods. For example, if the child loses his temper and throws the toy on the ground and breaks it, we can punish the child for not being able to buy toys during this period. Also, if the child has the behavior of destroying books, we can also let the child compile books. Not all punishments are negative. Instead, studying books can cultivate the ability to compile books, which is also good for children. Knowing that studying books is not easy, they will cherish reading.
3. Increase children's opportunities for collective life
Many times, children's willfulness is the product of self-centeredness, and children are the center in the family, and the sense of child's centrality will be transmitted to all aspects of life, especially outside.
If the child goes out to socialize, we will find that some willful children want to be the boss of everything and fight for everything. If they don’t get it, they will cry. We should take the child more to socialize. Through interaction with children of different ages, we can let the child feel that the world is not around him. Children will feel lost through setbacks and wallets. We can comfort and communicate. However, what children learn in this process is the ability to socialize and the habit of eliminating willfulness. It is very beneficial for us to let the child break through by themselves.
4. Family education must be consistent
Whether it is a matter of willfulness or not, our family education must be consistent, because the education is inconsistent, and the children do not know who to listen to. There is a good method here, that is, in the family, we must discuss a person in charge of educating children, that is, the person in charge is responsible for the good and bad of the children. This person in charge also has the greatest voice in children's education. When we have different opinions, we choose consistent education at the family meeting.
As parents in the new era, we can help children turn willfulness into "resilience" and turn educational issues into educational opportunities. While respecting their children's needs, we cannot accommodate their children aimlessly and allow their children to develop. Only in this way can children develop mentally healthy.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-