accompany is the most frequent vocabulary in the context of family life; it is also an educational behavior that parents need to learn and implement. In order to accompany the children effectively, our parents can be described as "the eight immortals crossing the sea, each showing their magical powers"! Some parents of
insist on making breakfast for their children and give their children "accompaniment on the tip of the tongue". Some parents of
work hard to study "black words", but they are happy among them.
……
Now
let’s take a look at what
parents have done in order to effectively accompany their children
insist on making breakfast for their children and give them “companion on the tip of the tongue”
"in fact, every morning for The children make a breakfast. This is the best company I give them." Li Xiaoping, a parent who lives in Nanming District, told reporters that her family has two children. Her son and daughter are in the fifth and first grades of Jiaxiu Primary School. Engaged in garden art and design work, and there is not much time to accompany the children at night, so I only insist on making a "love" breakfast for the children every morning.
Ms. Li told reporters that every night, when the children do their homework, she will use this time to prepare the ingredients, get up at 6:30 the next morning, and spend half an hour making creative breakfasts of various shapes. In her own words, this is for children " companionship on the tip of the tongue ".
"The most troublesome thing for me is the cooking process every morning." Ms. Li said that every time she finishes breakfast, she has to observe the food in the dishes for a while, "How do I make it look good? Add other ingredients. Will it be more nutritious? How can I achieve the perfect color, fragrance and flavor?" She has to think about these questions every morning. For her, making breakfast for the children must be delicate and beautiful. Of course, for Ms. Li, there is nothing happier than making a "love breakfast" for the children.
"Nowadays, making breakfast and eating breakfast has become a way of communication between mother and child. The one sentence children must ask every morning is:'Mom, what do you have for breakfast today?'" Ms. Li proudly said, receiving her As a result, the two children can now not only make some simple breakfasts by themselves, but also understand nutrition.
insists on making breakfast for the children every day. For Ms. Li, this is her most effective company for the children.
Specializing in "black words" just to have a common topic with my children
"In order to have a common topic with my children, I spent more than half a month specializing in the "black words" spoken by the children." Parent Mr. Liu is sorry. He told reporters that in order to have a common topic with his children and better accompany them, he had spent more than half a month "learning" from the children's companions, and has painstakingly studied the "black words" spoken by the children .
Mr. Liu recalled that once he went to school to pick up the children from school and heard the dialogue between the children. The children were talking and laughing, but after listening, he was "confused" and did not understand a word. Mr.
Liu told reporters: “Since my son entered the sixth grade, I have obviously felt that I have less and less talk with my child. In my communication with him, I found that I don’t understand many of the children’s languages. He even said: 'Our young people's world, you old people don't understand.'" In order to better communicate and communicate with children, he decided to take the initiative to understand the children's language world. "In the beginning, I checked on the Internet, but nothing was found. I made up my mind to ask my sons' companions and friends' children for advice." Mr. Liu said, under the guidance of the "masters", he did somehow Understand the dialogue between children.
Mr. Liu told reporters that once at home, he played a game with his son and then won. He deliberately said in black language, "Don’t do 6 basic exercises (this is all basic operations, everyone should calm down. 666.)', my son was particularly surprised to ask him why he was talking about "black words" between them, and he also explained to me the meaning of some other "black words", "I didn't expect to say children's black words for the first time." He was praised by his son, which also made him confident.
Since getting praise from his son, Mr. Liu has been more "attentive". He smiled and said: "I have to work harder to'learn from my children'." In order to have a common topic with my children, Mr. Liu also went to the bookstore to consultBooks about black words.
After many "black talk" exchanges with his son, Mr. Liu discovered the joy of his son, and his communication with his children became smoother and smoother, "999, call, Resby... Now what these black words mean I know everything very well, and sometimes I can communicate with my children in'black language'." Mr. Liu proudly said that whenever his son speaks freely with himself, it is also his happiest and happiest moment.
“As a father, he spends snacks on his son to understand his life, what he thinks and what he says, and it’s very necessary to spend some time to learn the children’s knowledge of “black talk”.” Mr. Liu told reporters in this way He feels more effective and enjoys being with his children.
In order to get close to the doll, the son of Ms. Che’s family has just entered the first grade this year, and the child is studying in Huaguoyuan No. The way is to watch the animation together.
"My son likes it, I am relaxed, why not do it? Think about it when we were young to watch cartoons, so I didn't think about it, so I didn't want to suppress the child." Ms. Che told reporters that she even had three chapters with her son every month One-day cartoon "Freedom Day". On this day, the son can watch 5 animations, giving him enough freedom. Ms. Che said that this is also a prerequisite. Children cannot watch cartoons overtime 8 times within a month. If they fail to do so, the cartoon "Freedom Day" will be gone.
With this huge temptation, children are more restrained from watching cartoons on weekdays. Ms. Che also gave some thought to the choice of cartoons. "Like "Making the Heavenly Palace", "Magic Pen", "Wang Wang Team's Great Contribution"..." I will pull out a lot of previous classic cartoons to watch with him. I don't look boring, and my son likes it.
Regarding spending time with the baby to watch cartoons, Ms. Che said: "It’s not as tired as expected, but it’s better than expected. You say it 100 times, not as good as once in the cartoon. This is also the most effective in my opinion. The way to accompany their children." Of course, many parents also have such troubles in life. Children are unwilling to talk to themselves, and even less willing to open up and chat with themselves. In view of this situation, Guizhou Normal University, Doctor of Educational Psychology and Deputy Director of Guizhou Family Education Guidance Center Wu Hong also gave some suggestions to parents and friends:
01
Keep your mouth shut and learn to listen
Listening is the most important way to understand children’s ideas , but usually our parents are more Tend to speak rather than listen. If the child's companionship and communication needs are not met for a long time, it may bring him emotional distress. Only when parents understand their children's real thoughts and needs can they understand and accept their children's behaviors and emotions.
Listening to companionship can not only increase the intimacy between parents and children, but also enhance the child's sense of acceptance and psychological security. More importantly, the experience of companionship can make children feel that they are important and valuable, and thus Generate a sense of value and meaning of life, which is also an important psychological quality for children to deal with various setbacks and adversities in the future life.
02
temporarily put aside the work at hand and concentrate on accompany
Professor Wu hopes that parents can consciously set up some ceremonial moments or activities in family life, such as accompany their children for dinner, parent-child reading, weekend parent-child time, express parents to their children Care for her, love for her. The length and frequency of time can be negotiated with the children on an equal basis. You can also take the opportunity to positively guide your children to understand the hard work and difficulty of their parents. In fact, when the connection between the child and the parents is stable and safe, the child can accept that the parents and themselves are temporarily separated.
03
Understanding and accepting children
Understanding and accepting children does not mean letting them go without guidance. needs to understand the child, why is she like this, what happened to the child in the process of becoming this way? As parents, what can we do? How to comfort and enlighten children in emotional distress?
04
learn to communicate effectively
in educationIn the process of children, couples first need to form an educational community , and integrate into this community, and share the responsibility of educating their children. The achievement of the
community can be specifically divided into two aspects:
jointly manage the most stable and most important core relationship in the family, the husband and wife relationship, and give children a warm and harmonious family atmosphere that can communicate effectively. In fact, a good relationship between husband and wife can also relieve anxiety and pressure in parent-child education.
Actively participate in the education of children and share the pressure of parent-child education. This is more conducive for parents to control their emotions and analyze and solve problems with their children.
Secondly, in addition to an atmosphere of effective communication, there must also be effective communication and education methods and methods .
Parents need to learn to understand some of the characteristics of the physical and mental development of adolescent children, as well as effective communication methods. When we know that adolescent children are transitioning from dependence to independence, and their psychology has a certain degree of lock-in, then we may need to be more patient and respect her wishes when communicating with our children.
Note: The pictures of the article are all from Visual China.
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| Reporter Tian Lang
page editor | Xiaobian Qin
duty director | Xiaobian fresh
