In recent years, we can often see all kinds of problem children in the news. When analyzing the problem behaviors of these children, the media will without exception tell the child’s original family clearly. Then the reason for the child’s problem behavior is summarized as the parent’s lack of education for the child. But these problems in children must be caused by their parents?
To know this, we must first understand what a native family
is a native family , which refers to a child, from birth, to marriage, to this period of family life before establishing a new home, which is the family given to us by our parents. In this family, we will learn a lot of things, and we will be influenced by our parents in their subtle influence. This kind of influence of
includes many conveniences, such as living habits, learning likes, etc. It is undeniable that the influence brought to us by the original family is actually great, and it has a certain effect on our study, life, and thinking. Impact.
Children grow up not only with the participation of the native family. In the process of children’s growth, there is also an influence that is often overlooked by people, that is the peer effect. Simply put, the friends made by the children are also with their companions. It affects them subtly. Z1z
psychological counselor Lu Jin believes that in the current society, the influence of the original family on children is infinitely expanded, that is, under this influence, the influence of peers is often underestimated or even directly ignored. But even this kind of peer-to-peer influence often becomes the cause of children’s problems, or an opportunity to change and heal children.
has a variety show called "The Incredible Mom". In this show, the star Hu Ke has won praises from many people for the education of his two sons Anji and Xiao Yuer. They all feel that Hu Ke is very good for the education of children, but no matter it is No matter how good mothers are, they will be helpless when they encounter some problems with their children.
In the first episode of the show, several mothers are taking their children to eat, but Xiaoyuer just doesn't eat, and has to clamor for her mother to put together the newly bought assembly robot. Hu Ke patiently explained to Xiao Yu'er that he was eating, and waited until he finished eating. Then he comforted Xiao Yu'er and set the rules for him, but no matter what method it was, Xiao Yu'er still cried angrily. He said: "What broke the rules!"
was just when Hu Ke was in total distress, and Chi Yaling's son Eli next to him suddenly said to Xiao Yuer: "Eating time is to eat, not playing with toys."
is this sentence , Let Xiaoyuer, who was crying about playing with toys, stopped crying and sat down to eat. Why is the mother's words no use, but the words of her companions, Xiao Yuer obediently? There is a psychological concept in
, which is called peer effect . Peer effect means that most people follow their peers and listen to their opinions. Some people at
have studied the students who skipped classes in the university, and found that most of the students who were named by the teacher for skipping classes in the university are mostly concentrated in a few dormitories. Of course, must have a "good student" in a dormitory who is responsible for all the dorm People "release the wind". The results of
indicate that children may not be the same at home and outside. That is to say, the influence of parents on children will be greater when the child is young, but as the child grows, the influence of peers on the child Starting to grow older, parents should not ignore the influence of peers on their children.
As parents, how do you guide the relationship between children and their peers?
1. Respect your children’s friends
. For children’s friends, parents should not overly stop their children from playing with them. Sometimes the more parents stop them, the more the children have to do this. For the friends the children choose, the parents should give Respect, because this is his own choice.
2. Do not intervene too much in conflicts between children
When you are young, the most prone conflict between children is to fight for toys. If conflicts arise between children, parents should not interfere too much with children. Contradiction, this will affect the child’s social abilityIf conflicts arise, let the children solve them first.
3. Let children participate in group activities more
When children are young, parents can take more children to participate in some group activities. During the activities, children can get to know more companions and get to know more people of the same age, so that they can also Improve your social skills.
The growth of children has many influences. We cannot deny the influence brought by the original family, but the influence of companions in the growth of children is also great. Therefore, parents should encourage children to go out. , Make more friends, make friends.
