How can the whole family better enforce the rules together?
Method 1: Punishment is not the goal. Punishment measures can be positive and meaningful. Since
rules are set together by the whole family, they cannot be rejected or violated for any reason during the implementation process, and they must be implemented to the end. Any problems that arise during
should be raised at any time, and then we can negotiate together to find a solution to ensure that the rules can also keep up with the times, continue to mature and improve, and prevent them from becoming a dead letter.
The whole family supervises each other, which can effectively ensure the implementation and enforcement of the rules of life.
Regardless of whether it is a parent or a child, whether it is intentional or unintentional, as long as anyone is found to have broken the rules, he must be punished accordingly. The purpose of this is to make the child understand that everyone is equal before the rules. When the daughter of
was over 4 years old, there was a period of time when she was very temperamental, and she always got angry when she didn't want to, and even beat people.
After my husband and I realized this problem, we figured out ways to let my daughter know how to control her emotions. After discussing with
, I placed an order online and bought a few picture books on self-emotion management for infants and young children and a bear timer.
was delivered to the door by courier at around three o'clock in the afternoon the next day. My daughter thought it was delicious for her, so she couldn't wait to let me open it.
I told her that when my dad comes back from get off work, we will open it together and see what's inside.
After more than two hours, the husband opened the door and came in. Before he had time to change his shoes, he was dragged by his daughter to unpack the package. After opening
, my daughter saw the picture book and the bear timer, feeling a little lost.
So, I took the opportunity to tell my daughter:
"You are no longer a little baby, you grow up day by day, you are a big girl, and such a beautiful girl always loses her temper and beats others, no one will like you in the future.
So , We thought of a way. If you still can’t control yourself and lose your temper in the future, just find a place to sit down, set a timer for five minutes, and watch these picture books until the bad temper is gone." Daughter
Looking at me, she said, "My mother had tantrums at me before, why can't I lose my temper?"
Husband hugged his daughter and kissed her little cheek.
"You ghost girl, from now on, I will be like my mother. If you lose your temper, please remind us, let's set the time and read the book quietly, okay?" The daughter of
made a face and said: " I am a child, you set five minutes for me; you and mother are adults, you set 15 minutes!"
I pretended to say, "Fifteen minutes? It’s a long time? Then after we read the picture book, Can you find a book you like?" The daughter of
looked like a small adult and said: "Okay!"
Then, we found a piece of yellow colored paper and used the daughter's red marker to make this inaccurate. Write down the rules for receiving punishment after losing your temper, and post them on the wall next to the bookshelf. We also agreed that the three of us will supervise each other. Regardless of who loses our temper, we will point it out in time and accept the punishment. It is very interesting that
family members supervise each other. Although the three of us have violated the rules during the process, we all voluntarily accepted punishment.
What makes my husband and I most happy is that my daughter not only manages her emotions well, but also develops a good habit of reading.
Method 2: When the implementation of the rules is hindered by the elderly, solve them wisely
. Every parent has a deep understanding. It is inevitable that they will feel annoyed when doing the same thing continuously, which will lead to slackness.
Sometimes in the process of implementing the rules, if children become lax, they will find various excuses, such as special circumstances, sickness or uncomfortable, no one supervises themselves, etc.
Therefore, guide the child to deepen the awareness of the rules, some rules cannot be violated no matter what the situation is.
One evening, after dinner, I took my daughter out for a walk and ran into sister Li from the community.
Sister Li’s son is one year older than my daughter. When chatting, Sister Li said she was upset recently.
I asked her what’s wrong, she said that her son had never had the habit of eating snacks before, and recently he has always skipped regular meals and bought zero for his pocket money.Eat.
I suggest Sister Li, the child is in the developmental period, if too much snacks are eaten, it is not conducive to the growth of the child.
Sister Li sighed and said she knew it, but she couldn't control her son.
She gave an example. She stipulated that her son could not eat snacks within an hour before the meal. The son agreed well, but before the meal he said that he was too hungry, and then rummaged around for snacks. No matter how he stopped, he just wouldn’t listen. , Even crying.
The parents-in-law saw the grandson like this, and out of distress, they compromised with the child and took the initiative to give him snacks.
So now no matter what she forbids her son to do, the son will cry. He knows that as long as he cries, his grandparents will protect him.
Faced with the actions of her in-laws, Sister Li was upset, but she was not good at accusing the two old people.
I suggest that Sister Li talk to her husband, let her husband do the ideological work of the two old people, and tell the two old people that it’s right to feel sorry for the grandson, but there is no principled maintenance that will only harm the child.
Living with the elderly is indeed a test for mothers.
first is different from the old people’s educational philosophy, and the second is that “separate generations” lead to old people doting on their children. Therefore, parents are susceptible to resistance from the elderly in the process of formulating and implementing rules for their children.
Mothers who have this kind of confusion, don’t worry or have conflicts with the elderly, find ways to coordinate and solve the problem, so that your husband can do the work of the elderly. If conditions permit, you can bring the children alone, and let the children visit the elderly regularly. Their lovesickness.
In short, after making rules for children, we must encourage and cooperate with children to persevere. This cannot be achieved overnight, and requires great care and patience from parents.
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