If you make a list of the most tiring professions in the world, then countless mothers will be on the list.
Mother is indeed an existence worthy of praise, she is really tired.
What makes mother even more tired is the chill.
Too many mothers will feel chills at the irresponsible, indifferent, widowed parenting of another person in the family, and feel helpless when they are alone with their baby.
Our public account has posted an article about death before, and we received a message in the background:
I am not afraid of death. I am afraid that I will die and no one will care about the child, because no one loves children more than their mother. So I must live well.
sounds moving, but also bitter.
No one loves children more than mothers. I don't know if this sentence is true, but what I know is that this sentence will make mother very tired.
But no one loves children more than mothers. Does mother have to do her best to love children? Do you have to do it yourself, do it all, even after you die?
No one loves children more than mom Say: Mom is very important and cannot be replaced.
When you think "Mom is very important", what do you experience?
- On the one hand, I am tired, the task is arduous, and the pressure is huge.
- What about another aspect? Is there some satisfaction?
Tired itself can give people a great sense of satisfaction. The greatest benefit of being tired is the sense of existence and value.
The more tired a person is, the more he feels that what he does in is very important.
For example:
A person who mops the floor three times a day will feel that cleanliness is very important.
Tell your son what time to urinate every day People who pay special attention to health preservation will find health preservation particularly important.
People who stare at the doll's homework every day will find that homework is particularly important.
At this time they are very tired, and they have a sense of presence.
corresponds to tiredness and relaxation and enjoyment. For many people, relaxation and enjoyment are sinful, empty, selfish, cold-blooded, and guilty.
So people who are very tired of bringing a baby will make themselves very tired when there is no baby. Either housework or career.
Being tired is just a habit. Only at this moment, it was transferred to the baby.
So tired mothers can ask themselves:
Relax and enjoy, is it familiar to you? Dare you?
The more you dare not, the more you want to get tired presence from your child.
How can I make myself tired?
You have to think projectively that children have many needs to be met. In this way, the more you feel that he needs your management and care, the more successful you will be.
Moreover, the more tired you are from your children, the less you need to think about your life. No time anyway.
Therefore, in order to be not tired, the first thing you have to learn is: dare to be free, think about life, and pursue relaxation.
Does the child actually have so many needs? Does it need to be taken care of?
Yes.
As long as you want to take care of one person, you can do everything possible. Everyone has as many needs as the stars in the sky, regardless of children and adults.
Can every need be met as best as possible?
From the mother's point of view, the child is very vulnerable. Weak too weak to bear the loss of demand, unable to bear all pain. Therefore, when the mother sees the child expressing his needs, she must be anxious to relieve his pain.
But because a person is expressing needs, it does not mean that he cannot bear his own needs and cannot meet them. When a person is crying, it does not mean that he has no ability to digest his pain.
When I observed the baby, I found that he would cry when he was given injections and medicines. He would cry when he was hungry and tired, and when he was tired, he would cry when he woke up in the middle of the night. At this time, some mothers will be anxious.
This anxiety is saying: He cannot bear this kind of pain.
Actually he cried, but he didn't want to bear it, he couldn't bear it. This does not mean that he cannot bear it.
Mom is a person who does not express pain easily. When it's a little bit painful, I will endure it. It's so uncomfortable, I can't help but cry. At this time, she will project her feelings onto the child:
He cried, it was very painful.
In fact, what mom really needs to learn from the baby is: is a little uncomfortable, so I have to say it. No need to endure at all.
At this time, my mother can experience: Crying is just a way for a person to deal with one's own discomfort, not necessarily satisfying, and not unbearable.
Therefore, the second point of to achieve not tiring is: You don't have to meet his every need. Unsatisfied, it is also a kind of experience learning for him.
Even though no one loves children more than mom The child does not live well after leaving his mother, which is totally different.
Love is not the only factor that makes people live well. Suffering too.
No one likes suffering, but it does not mean that experiencing suffering will not make people happier. Sometimes suffering can make a person better than love.
As the saying goes, children from poor families take care of their families early.
This sentence means that some children have not received much care from their parents since they were young, and they must learn to be self-reliant, responsible for themselves, and even for their families.
Then when he grows up, he will easily become an independent, strong, responsible, responsible, mature, and wise person.
As Nietzsche said: "Everything that can't kill me will make me stronger."
You cannot say love or suffering, which makes you better.
So you can’t say, which kind of education is better for other people to make children suffer, and your kind of education that doesn’t make children suffer.
Who said that a poor child when he was young will definitely be even more pitiful when he grows up?
But one thing we can say is:
Your heart is too bitter and you don’t want to suffer any more. So you will think projectively that the child does not want to bear a bit of suffering, and cannot bear a bit of suffering.
Why are you so bitterWhat?
Tired.
And the third point of not being tired is that you need to learn: children can and need to bear suffering.
What's more, he doesn’t necessarily suffer if he leaves you.
No one loves children more than a mother and no one loves children, they are two different things. The second love and third love can also make him grow up healthy.
In the mother's subconscious mind, it seems that no one loves the child after leaving him. Therefore, no one loves children more than mothers. This sentence still says: You can't live without me.
At this time, in fact, the mother will project her abandonment trauma to the child.
In extreme cases, if the mother suddenly disappears, the child will indeed experience a period of trauma. Just like a company changing managers, there will be fluctuations for a period of time.
But no one knows whether it is better or worse.
Many children who are adopted by others will also get a lot of warmth and love.
People who are raised by the love of society, and those who are funded to help grow up, know more about creativity and gratitude, and are more adaptable to this society.
Many people who were raised by fathers and grandparents can grow up well.
All suffering will pass, and people will eventually usher in a new life.
The pneumonia virus will eventually pass, and the economy will recover again.
The people who have passed away make us heartache, and we will eventually move forward.
My first love broke my heart when I broke up, but looking back now is just youth.
Leaving the one you love the most will certainly cause heartache. But heartache is not eternal. In this world, no one and nothing is irreplaceable, even the love of mother.
Mom can't bear being abandoned, and she thinks her child can't bear it. So she will do her best to take care of the child by herself, so that the child will not feel a little abandoned.
Actually, what my mother is taking care of is just the self who will be abandoned at any time, even in her early years.
The fourth point of not wanting to be tired is that you need to learn: you can be replaced. Even if he leaves you, he can survive, not necessarily worse.
What I want to say to the tired mother is da
#You are important, but not as important as you think.The child is very fragile, but not as fragile as you think.
Other people are not as loving as you, but not as unloving as you think.
Children need love, but not as much as you think.
In this way, you can let yourself go.
You have to find your own life after all, and that should be your life. The child is important, but it shouldn't be more important than yourself.
You have to figure out, Are you loving your real child or your fragile self.
