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Case 1 Case 1:
The husband cheated during pregnancy. I forgave him once. The fetus was eight months old and now the baby is six months old. I found that my husband and the same person are still cheating. Moreover, the other party’s names are all husbands, wives, big babies, and things like loving you and missing you, as well as screenshots on WeChat. I can’t stand it anymore! I can't continue living with him, but the child is too young and I'm afraid it will have an impact. What should I do?
Hello! Thank you for your trust in Xinrong Youdao Psychological Studio~
Special understanding of your current mood. If you divorce, you are worried that your child will be affected; if you don’t divorce, you are really wronged. You work hard to raise your child, but he cheats on others. The name of your husband and wife is betraying the family, so you are entangled and in pain. Not just you, anyone who encounters this situation will feel the same as you. But my dear, his betrayal has hurt you. You should love yourself better and treat yourself well at this time. You are now trapped in the vortex of pain of betrayal, and now you need to get out of this vortex first, take your focus away from him, and return to yourself.
student Xiaoyu is the same as you. She never expected that her husband who has always loved her deeply would cheat. When Xiaoyu was puzzled, her husband told her clearly: "Since the birth of the child, you have spent all your thoughts on the child, and there is not even anyone who listens to me. I don't seem to exist at home."
Xiaoyu has seen photos of her husband and mistress. She is a woman who looks and looks worse than her. She is wearing rustic lace and looks pretentious. She is said to have divorced and taken care of her child. Xiaoyu really wanted to shake her husband's head and hear if it was water: Please, even if you are looking for it outside, you can find a good one? If I lose to a mistress who is inferior to my, where can I put my face? She was extremely unwilling to give up, and the child was still young, so she made up her mind to win back her husband. She has found many so-called "emotional skills" online and used them all on her husband. Communication, attention, attention, seduction... Her hard-working performance did not bring about a change of intentions from her husband, but instead became increasingly resistant to her. Finally one day, my husband said: Don’t mess around anymore, I’m tired, really tired. He packed up a few clothes and moved out of the house they had bought together.
When Xiaoyu found us, her eyes were black and her mouth was blistering. She had no hope at all. She repeatedly said to us: "I'll try it for the last time. It won't work, so I gave up completely."
One-on-one online tutoring consultant helped Xiaoyu sort out the problems in this relationship in detail:
·Memories and combing
During hypnosis treatment, Xiaoyu recalled when they were together at first.
My husband is a member of the school basketball team, and Xiaoyu is attracted by his sweaty vitality. When she was together, her eyes glowed...
Hypnosis: "When you were together, the sweetest time, please recall what your interaction was like at that time, what was your mood? What is the future picture of your fantasy together?"
Xiaoyu thought about it, and couldn't help but burst into tears. At that time, although they lived a poor life, they were full of hope. They wanted to make money, buy a house, have a child, and live a family of three with a beautiful life...
Then they cried bitterly and said, "Why did it become like this..." The consultant gently comforted her. After her emotions stabilized, they asked, "Think about it again, what misunderstandings or conflicts have occurred in you afterwards, causing you to get further and further away?"
put away their tears and told the teacher that in order to live the life they wanted, they focused all their energy on their careers. Every day when they came home from get off work, they were very tired and under great pressure. They all felt wronged, thinking that the other party would care about themselves, and there were more and more quarrels.Later, life got better and the child was born. She was so tired of the quarrel that she always stopped. Unexpectedly, he found a green tea bitch who was divorced and took care of the baby in a blink of an eye.
The consultant told her that you have a certain emotional foundation and a man has six major emotional needs. If you can't give it to him, he will naturally look out, and the third party will take advantage of the situation.
2·Calm and buffer
In the early stage of recovery, you must first give yourself and the other party a calm buffer period. Because he is hostile and alienated, he refuses to communicate. This means he has regarded you as a threat and has thorns all over his body. If you choose to attack at this time, it will only arouse a stronger defensive instinct.
You need to give yourself some time to observe the other party’s real needs in order to prescribe the right medicine, activate it accurately, and improve the success rate of recovery. At the same time, it also calms down my husband from excessive dopamine secretion. However, "calm and buffering" does not apply to all recovery situations. In some cases, "cold treatment" will make your relationship worse. Xiaoyu also understood that 100 conversations lacking quality are not as good as one heartfelt communication. Pursuing "quality" is far more cost-effective than pursuing "quantity".
3·Role Reshaping
It turns out that Xiaoyu has been tutoring since childhood, and her mother is even more cautious about her feminine traits. One day in the fifth grade of elementary school, An Ran secretly took her mother's lipstick and wiped her lips. Unexpectedly, her mother slapped her in the face and called her "shameless!" From then on, she gradually wiped out her feminine qualities. She did not wear skirts, spoke and did things with decisiveness, devoted all her energy to work and children, and forgot that she was a woman with desire...
Until many years later, a "weak, pitiful and helpless" "green tea bitch" broke in and broke the dream she woven... Xiaoyu said with lingering fear: Fortunately, I met you~ Teacher Xinrong, otherwise, if life continues to live in such a daze, I will be over in my life.
Under the one-on-one tutoring of Teacher Xinrong, Xiaoyu naturally opened up his body and mind, had in-depth conversations with his body, and cooperated with the systematic fitness method. He did not diet and lost five pounds in less than a month and his waist was thinner. The stiff shoulders were also relaxed, the trapezoidal muscles were no longer hard, and the round shoulders and hunchbacks were also improved. The stiff posture of the past gradually stretched out, the elegant swan neck also came out, the drooping corners of the mouth were also raised, and the whole body was filled with vitality. At the same time, I learned to show weakness and act coquettish. Xiaoyu said that now I can finally embrace my soft side, which feels so good!
She fell in love with the colors that she felt was too ostentatious before. She wore a waist-hugging dress that she could not see before, and replaced her sneakers for years with low-heeled sheepskin shoes that took into account elegance, decentness and comfort. She went to dance and did many things outside of work and family...
Xiaoyu said: Every day when looking in the mirror, the women in the mirror change. I watched a woman's flower slowly fostering, in bud, finally blooming. The teacher told her: Dear, you will succeed soon.
4·Invitation for Avengers
Xiaoyu wrote a sentence under the teacher's arrangement, accompanied by a photo and posted it in his circle of friends. He received a like and a message from his husband that day. During the chat, the chat was frozen at one point, and she was not in a hurry. She was able to read the deep emotions that he could not express from the superficial language of her husband's complaining and anger.
empathizes After my husband was over, my husband's anger was extinguished, like an explosive ferocious beast. When he poured a basin of water, he was actually a trembling little pitiful person. After feeling deeply understood, my husband's tone changed significantly. The more they chatted, they became more and more enthusiastic. Until midnight, both parties were reluctant to turn off WeChat to sleep. My husband sighed: It seems that I have never known you before.
Xiaoyu lamented that in the years he had been married, the two of them had never communicated with such high quality~
had a good chat, so he naturally made an appointment to meet. This date also shocked Xiaoyu's husband.Not long after this date, my husband suddenly appeared at home, brought a gift to An Ran and the child, blocked all contact information of the third party in front of her, and asked An Ran to forgive him. Xiaoyu cried, and her husband cried too. The two hugged their heads and cried for a long time, and had a deep conversation all night. Student Xiaoyu said that the two people were fragile and opposite each other, and it turned out to be so intimate and beautiful. They lived a family of three wholeheartedly, and sometimes they would send their children to grandma's house, and the couple lived a two-person world.
Seeing the man return to his family, his plan was gone. The third party did not give up and blocked her doorstep to make trouble. Xiaoyu was a little worried that her husband would be soft-hearted and was about to tear up the third party, but her husband ignored the mistress who was crying and called the police directly. Now the third party knows that it is amazing and never dares to appear again.
body and mind writer Zhang Defen said: Dear, there is no one outside, only you. I agree deeply. Everything outside is actually a projection of one's own psychology. Only by truly knowing and accepting oneself can one better love others and the world.
First, my dear, please stop looking at his phone again. The more information you see about him cheating, the more harm you will be. Even though you know it is not good for you, why should you shoot arrows on yourself? Although the facts exist, as long as we don’t know, it will not harm us.
Secondly, return the focus to yourself. In addition to his cheating, he should also have many advantages, such as he can earn money to support his family, or clean up his family, etc., see more advantages of him, and in addition, we need children, parents, and friends. After giving birth, your figure needs to be restored. You can spend some time exercising your body and planning your life, so that every day's life is full of novelty, and life has a sense of freshness and direction, making it easier to feel happy. Learn how to raise children and take good care of yourself and your children.
Finally, now you are in an emotional state and have been struggling with not knowing how to make a choice. Then you can accept yourself and cannot make a choice now. Grow yourself first. When you grow up well, be self-responsible, have enough sense of security, clarity, peace, confidence, courage, etc., the answer will naturally tell you whether to be separated or not. When you have no fear and no entanglement in your heart, the choice you make is the most suitable choice
So dear, don’t make any decision now, go back to yourself and grow yourself. When you grow up well, everything outside will become better
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