My friend’s child is four years old. He is like a little devil at home. He loses his temper and throws toys whenever he disagrees, and even lies on the ground and rolls on the ground.
Friends really have no way to do with children.
As the saying goes: a child is three or four years old, and a dog will hate it. It means that children aged three or four are naughty and naughty, so it is normal to have a tantrum. However, if the child loses his temper too frequently, or loses his temper at any time, we parents should pay attention to it.
Many times, when our children lose their temper, we parents usually coax their children first, hoping to resolve their children's bad temper in a more gentle way. But it often fails to achieve the expected results.
So in most emotions, we parents will scold our children for being ignorant and disobedient, and sometimes they will teach them a lesson. Although this trick can temporarily suppress the child's bad temper, it is not a good solution.
In fact, there is a reason why children lose their temper like us adults. But many times, as parents, we ignore the reasons for the child’s temper and only see the result of the child’s temper. Therefore, no suitable solution was found to help children reduce their chances of losing their temper and resolve the reasons for their children's tantrums.
Why do children lose their temper? Generally speaking, there are the following reasons:
requirements cannot be met
We all know that although 4-year-old children have strong expression skills and can clearly express their wishes, many times, their children's wishes and ideas are not listened to or valued by us. This will cause the child to feel very wronged. How could his parents treat him like this?
In order to attract the attention of parents, children can only express their dissatisfaction by losing their temper.
To be honest, the requirements of children are relatively small things, but for children, this is a big deal. If your parents cannot meet their needs and cannot do what they promise, the child will feel panic and uneasy in his heart, and feel that he is not valued, and he will attract his parents' attention by losing his temper.
For example, the child wants to listen to his mother telling stories before going to bed at night, but the mother has no time because she is busy with work. At this time, the child may cry because of grievance, which will not only affect the child's sleep, but also make the mother unable to work with peace of mind.
is ignored
This situation is easy to occur in families with multiple children or when there are guests at home. If there are several children at home and parents are busy taking care of other children, they may ignore the emotions and feelings of a certain child, making the child think that his parents are biased and dislike him, etc.
The child cannot clearly describe his or her mental state and feelings, so he can only lose his temper to vent his or her.
If there are guests at home, then parents may ignore the child’s feelings because they are busy taking care of the guests, and may even take out the child’s toys to share with the guests regardless of the child’s wishes. It feels really bad to be ignored like this.
The health is not good
The child is also prone to lose his temper when he is not feeling well. Because physical discomfort can lead to a bad temper. Not to mention children, even we adults will lose our temper due to physical reasons.
The influence of parents
The children like to lose their temper will also be affected by parents. Because parents are the ones who live with their children for the longest time, parents have always been role models for their children to imitate.
When a parent loses his temper, the child feels scared; then the child will naturally think that when he loses his temper, others will also feel scared. Therefore, in front of our children, we parents must pay attention to our words and deeds to avoid negative impact on our children.
If we want to help our children get rid of bad habits of losing their temper, we must find the root cause of the problem so that we can completely solve the problem.
How to reduce the frequency of children losing their temper? This requires our parents to solve different situations.
1. Care more about
When a child loses his temper because he is ignored, we can care more about the child, temporarily put down what he is doing, chat with the child, talk to him, or play games with the child, engage in outdoor activities, etc. In short, it is necessary to make children feel that their parents do not care about themselves through their behavior.
When you ignore your child because of work or other things, you can comfort the child by buying gifts or snacks for the child. For example, when we come back from a business trip, we can bring a small doll for our children and talk to them about interesting stories that happened locally.
For example, we don’t have time to play with our children, so we can take our children out for a big meal or go to the playground to play on weekends.
: Let the child feel loved, then the child will become love and express. Instead of expressing your inner thoughts by losing your temper.
2. Establishment principles
Sometimes children lose their temper because their requirements are not met. And maybe I had the same experience before. After the child got angry, his parents met his child's requirements.
So for children, losing their temper is a means to meet their children's requirements.
If the child wants to achieve his or her own goal by losing his or her temper, we parents must establish principles with the child and cannot do everything according to the child’s requirements. Instead, we should clearly tell the child that some things cannot be done and even if we lose our temper, it is useless.
At the same time, we must also learn to put conditions on our children. Only when the children have done what they have done and what they have completed can we meet their requirements.
Only in this way can children gradually accept the rejected reality and make some changes and efforts to win opportunities.
3. Benevolent guidance
I have seen a particularly interesting story, parents can learn from it.
A little girl saw a toy she liked very much while shopping in the mall, and she wanted to go to her mother to buy it for herself. But my mother considered that there were too many toys at home, so she didn't plan to buy them for her.
The little girl suddenly burst into tears in the mall. My mother looked at her for a while and said to her: It is wrong for you to cry like this. You are a girl, how can you cry? Girls should cry like girls. The girls are crying. If you can cry, I will buy it for you.
Successively, the little girl listened to her mother's words and learned to cry. She couldn't learn anything like her and even burped. The girl couldn't hold her face anymore, so she quickly pulled her mother away, not saying she could buy toys.
I have to say that this mother is very wise. She easily resolves the child's chance of losing her temper by diverting her child's attention and also changes her mind.
So when a child loses his temper, we can learn to guide the correct way, attract children's attention through some small things, toys, stories, etc., and dilute children's persistence in losing their temper.
4-year-old children are in a critical period for cultivating their character. Parents must set a good example for their children and accompany their children to grow up healthily and happily.
