Text/Lan Ma talks about parenting
Excellence is a habit
Excellence is an influence
Excellence is a kind of infection and inheritance
We all hope that children will become excellent creators of light, but what should we do if the remaining "not excellent" children? Can children who are not outstanding are “not outstanding”? This is not the case. Every child has different excellence points, and there are no specific roles or requirements on the road to excellence. Being able to exert 's own potential and show the value of 's self-wisdom , this is excellence!
01
Excellent children all like
Every child is not born so outstanding. Excellent lies in the development and accumulation of experience during growth. A truly excellent child is not the outstanding performance of at the current , but the continuous value of long-term, continuity, self-discipline, enthusiasm and innovation.
What is the first thing a child about 3 years old does when he wakes up in the morning?
Isn’t it because I’m crying and making a fuss to find my mother?
Or, is it still annoyed in " get up and get angry "?
However, there is a 3-year-old girl named Lele. Every day is like this:
After waking up in the morning, the first thing is to open her sleeping bag
Then, lock the bedside table and several picture books that she likes
Next, she started to enjoy a beautiful and quiet morning reading time
This is the first thing a three-year-old girl did after getting up in the morning
That time, it was Lele's mother's business trip, that is, my good friend
Because she has the best friend's affection that is "better than relatives", Lele also gave me care for her for a while
For the first time, when she took Lele to order food, I ordered the little girl's favorite dessert and enjoyed it in a delicious way. During this period, I felt unconsciously: The desserts made by professional chefs are delicious, but the little girl turned her head and thought about it and said, "Is what you cooked the same delicious?"
Because it was the first time to take Lele out, this time it was also a "special" relationship. Lele did not recognize her as she imagined. Her mature personality looked like she was happy physically and mentally. I took her on a trip, and then equipped her with a very beautiful pink little princess room. Lele was very happy when she saw it, and said in sweet words, "This beautiful room, I am afraid I will sleep in my sister's heart tonight..." Sweet words like
are simply 00 and not tired of listening to . Such an excellent child with such a good talk and strong independence, who doesn't like it when she sees me? And for me For this "little aunt" who has always been afraid of marriage and pregnancy, it seems that raising children is also a particularly happy and interesting thing.
02
likes excellent children, so what should I do if a child is not excellent?
Everyone says that love is encountered at the corner, but there are often reversal plots
That day, I took Lele out of the hotel elevator door
, and I heard a mother constantly nagging her son:
"Look at xx, this time I got 100 points, you are still classmates with others, why can't you learn these advantages?
" If you can get a good score every time like those excellent children in the class, you will get a good score every time. , Mom doesn't know how much worry you have to save every day."
. Everyone's criticism in public places seems to be is not surprising . By chance, Lele and I sat opposite the mother and son. Lele's whole meal process was ruled and serious, obviously throwing a little bit with the boy's food, and even restlessly dropped the tableware on the ground. When everyone looked at the mother and son with in one go, my mother felt very embarrassed.
Then, she began to nag again:
"It's just a little bit, I don't know how many times I say it every day. Even a blind man can find out the reason, why are you just not enlightened?"
The whole process, the boy lowered his head and didn't say anything , but I could deeply realize that the helplessness, fear and even torture in the environment of criticism, especially being rejected by the person he cared about the most, the feeling of loneliness that was not recognized, was like the newly hatched chicken in the snow, without resistance and was also full of self-rejection.
After that breakfast, I asked her on the way home with Lele, "Do you think the boy did the right thing just now?"
Lele shook his head, and then said seriously with a little face, "I think the boy's mother is even more wrong. She criticizes her children in front of so many people."
Look, even a three-year-old girl can see things through. How can adults, as parents, be fascinated by the authorities? In fact, educating children is not easy!
Someone said: "Even old hens can do it when loving children. Education is not simple, the key depends on how to teach it"! A metaphor like
may be a bit too rude, but isn't that true? The same thing may seem simple, but the process of operating in is not that simple. People with different understandings will eventually show completely different results in different ideological understandings, practices and influences, because children's excellence is based on many aspects of needs, such as opportunities, conditions, abilities, and innovation.
03
It turns out that parents are the main characters of whether the child is excellent or not
On the second year of junior high school, one morning she wanted to eat fried chicken and fried wings
After hearing this, she acted immediately with decisiveness and decisiveness
During lunch fried chicken wings appeared on the dining table as desired
When the meal was officially started, both parents and grandparents were happy. Everyone is sitting in their own place
. Everyone is preparing to have a lively reunion dinner together. But when they look up, in a blink of an eye, more than 1 pound of chicken wings were swept away.
. She was worried that she could not grab them with both hands. She directly picked up the plate and put all the chicken wings into her bowl.
. At that time, when she couldn't put the bowl, she didn't forget to help her hold a few
. The oily face seemed to be still unsatisfied. However, the mother was not used to Yangyang's bad temper
. The mother said:
"It's not that I'm afraid that my children will eat too much, but that the table education directly determines the height of the child's life. Do you have to wait until you "snatch food" with others on the table in the future, and you won't know how to regret it after being disliked by everyone and fired by the boss?"
I think what Yangyang's mother said is very reasonable. , children always grow up with sooner or later. If always feels that "the child is still young", then the child may really "can't grow up", because at any time the child is the child in the eyes of parents, and the child will always deceive himself with the lies ", children's words are not bad " and "it's still young". No excellence is born with glorious . How do you view the excellence of your child and how your child's excellence will develop.
On the road of excellent growth of children, 3 things that every parent must know today are shared with you. I hope it will be helpful to you:
First thing: Parents are the first teacher of their children
How do excellent children come from?
First of all, excellent children are not born with
Secondly, excellent children need to work hard after the day of their studies
Finally, parents are the first teacher in their children's growth
In short, if you understand it in one sentence, it is that there is an excellent parent behind excellent children, and parents are also the main figures on the road to excellent children. I believe there is no need to say much about this, everyone can also know and . After all, every child has zero foundation when he is born.
. The reason why parents are the first teachers in their children's growth is that the subtlety of education lies in the long-term impact on the subtle formed by children. This is not empty oral preaching.
The so-called education is also a spirit that needs to be deeply rooted in the soul and is rooted. No matter how good the teacher is, it is not as important as the family background family education . Teachers are only knowledge inheritors based on excellent family education . They can teach children's knowledge, but they cannot teach habits.
You should know that on the great and wise path of education, the background of school education is always family education, and the background of family education is the painter of parents. As the "first teacher" in the growth of children, parents are of great significance, parents have a long existence, and their influence is profound.
So, on the road to educating children to grow up well, parents must first ask themselves: Are you ready for outstanding parents?
The second thing: set a good example for your children, guide
to be a good start for an excellent parent. When you are a good painter of family education, you must pay attention to skills and methods!
Starting from today, to be a parent who can influence children's excellence, we must take the lead in setting an example and establishing deep roots. It is not that children are "brave and kind" children, they are really brave and kind, and their parents' examples will always be greater than words.
There is a story called "Lighting the Heart Candle" that became the guiding light in education:
That year, grandma broke her arm
dad and mom just returned home
Mother had already put on plaster at that time
lying on the recliner in the yard, basking in the sun while sucking in the sun
3-year-old daughter said, "Grandma, grandma"
Let the old mother's eyes have tears of surprise and happiness hikes hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilariously hilarious l0The second year, the wife proposed to wash the mother's hair
The mother thought her arms were completely healed and could wash the mother's hair
However, the wife insisted on helping the mother's hair
So, the daughter helped to move a small stool, widened her eyes, and looked quietly at
The third year again, when the wife shampooed her mother's hair
The daughter was like a cheerful bird, running in and out to help bring water and take towels tml2
And, the little girl also said, "I will wash my parents' hair like this in the future."
...
"Lighting the Heart Candle" Just like the excellent growth of a child, you lit the heart candle of your child, and at the same time tell them the principles of being a human being. Parents' words and deeds have a crucial impact on their children, because what you do now is also something that children will repeat in the future!
As the saying goes: "No matter what official you are outside or what kind of legendary life you have, when you return home, you are the children of your parents. When you were young, your parents washed my hair, and when you grow up, we washed my parents' hair."
The third thing: the child's consciousness needs to be awakened by parents
There is a father who, no matter how busy he is every year, will take his son home to visit his grandparents
When everyone walks together in the park, the father will subconsciously hold his son with one hand and let his grandfather hold him with the other hand
The son is particularly discomfortable and said, "You are so old, and you still want your father to hold him, it's so embarrassing."
Dad asked back, "Then what do you ask for your father to hold him?"
The son blinked his eyes and said, "Because I am a child, I will get lost."
Dad answered and said, "I am also a father's child, and I was holding me like this when I was a child."
In the blink of an eye, many years have passed. After my grandmother passed away, only my grandfather is over 90 years old. After my son graduated from college and started working, he often takes time to spend time with his family. In the park, his son pushes his grandfather in a wheelchair with one hand and lets his father hold him with the other hand. The warm scene may be a bit strange in the eyes of many people. But the strong family affection that is not taken away by the years is indeed extremely rare. At the same time, it is also a happiness that others cannot experience - responsibility
20
Why is the highest level of many successful people " is too cold to the cold "? This is because on the road to excellence, many people have unconsciously lost their most heart-wrenching things - emotions. You may think that excellence is " forgot to eat and sleep" and "heartless". you just need to do one thing well. In fact, those excellences that lack emotional experience are like flowers leaving the soil, beautiful but not useful, and will wither naturally in a cold environment within a few days.
Therefore, excellent children have never been on the road of ascetic . They must have seven emotions and six desires . needs to be nourished by emotions. Those who can achieve success in and become famous for in the end, and family happiness are truly excellent and true growth. On this road, one principle must be paid attention to, that is, children's consciousness needs to be awakened by parents, rather than nagging "What should you do" in the ears of children every day, , "What should you do" "What do you need to do"...
The fourth thing: to motivate and strengthen children's self-confidence development
Excellent children need guidance and awakening consciousness, and at the same time, they need to have the confidence of independent and strong , because on the road to children's excellence, we always cannot replace . The final results and the process we experience are interdependent. is indispensable. , and on the road to excellent growth, will definitely not be smooth sailing . Parents cannot become their children's umbrella, and they cannot guide and resolve crises at all times.
Therefore, having a strong will to resolve crises and resist setbacks is the real protective umbrella for children to grow up.
There is a five-year-old boy wearing a baseball cap and a bat in his hand
fully armed appearance in his backyard
He said confidently: "I am the best baseball player."
Then, he threw the ball into the air and waved the bat hard
that time he didn't hit
The boy was not discouraged, and then threw it into the air
shouted "I must be the best baseball player"
Then he waved the bat hard
It's a pity, and it fell into the air again
He stood up bravely, stunned for a while
Then, he carefully checked the bat and the ball
tried again, but the third time failed.
failed many times, tried many times, and finally hit
on the tenth time with one hit. The boy jumped up excitedly and said, "Wow, it turns out that I am really the most powerful baseball player."
I don't know how many children can experience the tenth time of failure, but I know that children who can experience this setback must have an extremely rich self-confidence. Because they believe in themselves, they will persist. Success will encounter unexpectedly at a certain stage. Therefore, self-confidence is the best spiritual protection umbrella for children to grow up. Helping children build sufficient and rich self-confidence is also the thing that every parent has to do with .
In this regard, we must give children sufficient opportunities to adapt and express. The growth and progress efficiency of each child are different. We need to learn to develop slowly according to the children's own pace. For example, they may only learn one word today, then tomorrow and the day after tomorrow may be the second, third, and fourth, until more...
Excellence is how slowly accumulated and extended, giving children room for development and stimulating their potential, and then being a serious parent to help solve their children's confusion, listen to their needs, and be a role model for their children...
From then on, it will be sooner or later for the excellent children behind excellent parents!
So what different opinions do dear friends have on the excellent parents behind the excellent children? Welcome to leave a message in the comment area to share!
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