What is a sense of belonging?
A sense of belonging is a feeling when an individual is recognized and accepted by others or groups, and is a sense of psychological security.
In fact, each of us hopes to belong to one or more groups and obtain acceptance and help from this group to gain a sense of security.
For children, a sense of belonging is an important emotion in children's social development. Because a sense of belonging can bring children a sense of comfort, responsibility and security, and are willing to assume all responsibilities and obligations as a member of the collective and are willing to participate in collective activities.
Moreover, a study by the University of Michigan showed that lack of belonging may increase the risk of depression .
Then, in the process of growing up, children mainly gain a sense of belonging from these two sources: school and family
school belonging
If the child has a sense of belonging in school, he can feel that he is an important member of the class or school. He is accepted by classmates and teachers, recognized by others, and can become a whole with others.
Therefore, helping children better integrate into the collective in school is an important means to increase their sense of belonging in school.
Parents can start from these aspects:
1. Let children tend to be average in dressing, stationery or other aspects as much as possible, not shabby or luxurious
Because human nature tends to accept people similar to themselves . If the gap between
is too large, it will make people feel distance and affect students' acceptance.
Everyone is almost the best. Don’t dislike anyone or envy anyone.
2. Don’t give negative comments to teachers in front of children
Evaluating teachers’ various bad things in front of children will not help children better improve relationships and adapt to the environment.
will instead make children prejudice against teachers, dislike teachers, even do not listen to classes carefully, do not complete homework, and work against teachers. This will be harmful and unfavorable to children's growth.
We cannot change the environment, but we can change ourselves.
Therefore, parents should maintain basic acceptance of teachers, which is the basis for helping children gain a sense of belonging in school.
3. Pay more attention to what happens in your child’s school
Parents should not only care about their children’s academic performance, but also care more about what happens in your child’s school.
Because your concern and interest will guide your children to pay more attention to and invest more in the school and class, and it will be easier to integrate into the class.
Just imagine, can a child who is indifferent to school and class affairs be integrated into this group?
So, when your child talks to you about interesting school things, you should be interested, listen carefully to the characters and events inside, and be able to remember them.
Or, often ask your children if there are any fun or special things happening in the class or school recently.
Family belonging
So, in addition to helping children enhance their sense of belonging in school, parents should also enhance their children's sense of belonging in Family .
Because this sense of belonging makes children constantly convinced of their importance at home, and also enhances their sense of security.
1. If you have any questions, try not to hide them from your child
General affairs at home. Parents try not to hide them from their children unless this matter exceeds the child’s ability to bear it.
Whether parents have not been working smoothly recently or have some conflicts with relatives and friends, they should tell their children openly so that they will not feel that they are "outsiders".
Parents should not always feel that their children are young and do not understand anything.
You need to know how important is in your eyes, and how important it is in your eyes .
2. Ask more questions and blame
for many things encountered in life. We can all intentionally ask our children for their opinions.
For example, when buying gifts for elders or friends during festivals, you can ask your child for his opinions and let him participate.
Some parents may think that their opinions will not work at all if their children understand.
Even if it doesn’t work, you must give your child the right to express his opinions and respect every word he says.
Because children's decision-making and choice ability when they grow up are all trained in every detail of life since childhood.
A child has not experienced training in some kind of ability since he was a child. It is impossible for him to have this ability at once when he grows up.
3. Always stand on the side of your child
No matter how big the conflict occurs between the child and the outside world or how big the challenge is encountered, parents must stand on the side of their children and maintain a high degree of emotional consistency with their children.
No matter what happens, you must first ask the ins and outs of the matter, analyze rationally, do not sarcastically, do not sarcastically, do not laugh at, put yourself in the shoes of the child, and always be willing to "support" the child.
Many parents scold their children indiscriminately, losing their trust and losing their sense of belonging to their families.
Because, the child finds that whenever something happens, the parents will "turn their elbows outwards" and do not even have the most basic trust in themselves.
This will keep the child away from you.
Of course, standing on the side of the child does not mean blindly covering up and not distinguishing right from wrong, but being able to identify with the child's feelings when problems occur, understand the child's difficulties, and protect the child's safety and interests to the greatest extent.
Children are wrong and can go home and educate them slowly, but must not allow others to cause physical harm to their children or personality violations .
