You blame your child for his low test scores and procrastination in work. If his answer is "There are still worse than me and slower than me, then who hasn't finished the test paper?"
You should be glad that your child has a good mentality and is easy to satisfy. He has not been infected by your anxiety. . Why is
more anxious now than before?
Some parents said that in our era, we were all studying by ourselves, and our parents didn’t care? Now two adults are in charge of a child, working overtime, feeling extremely tired and full of anxiety.
Think about it before, I didn’t have a computer or a mobile phone. At least I had never been exposed to books before I was 6 years old. I could run around, go down the river to catch fish, and go up trees to pick fruits. When I reach school age, holidays are just holidays, and I do my homework a little bit.
carefree childhood, now I recall it all the with a smile on the corner of my mouth. But what about the children now? Before the baby was born, his parents planned his life for him.
If you are a parent, I say I don’t want to put pressure on my children, I want my children to have a happy childhood, and I want to have a good parent-child relationship with my children.
Thinking that the baby can sleep well, telling you that this is impossible. When it comes to bedtime, it is like entering a playground, jumping up and down, full of electricity.
After having a child, are you still fantasizing that the living room is spotless and the study room is neat? But what about reality? Toys are piled up all over the floor, and the homework subjects in the study are bought with more than 5 books, but they are still not enough, so they are thrown everywhere, and if they are thrown away, they will not be found.
After the child goes to school, the teachers of various subjects in the small group summarize today from time to time, "I still need to work hard..." in the test paper and exercise books. Every time the information related to their children will cause mothers to be anxious and nervous .
I remembered that when the school started, the various information that needed to be filled in in time, various materials that needed to be handed in, and homework that needed to be checked in, the teacher called a little later. If the parents were a little more sensitive, they would probably not be able to sleep well at night and would be nervous.
Where does anxiety originate?
Do you want to go back to the era when teachers cannot find parents without mobile phones, without the Internet? Therefore, the corresponding Internet of electronic products is one of the main culprits of anxiety .
On the one hand, we are glad that people are at home now, and through mobile phones, they can hear different voices, see the farther world, and learn that there are so many people who are better than themselves.
It turns out that other people's children have already learned these courses. It turns out that a 3-year-old child has to apply for and interview when entering kindergarten. It turns out that my child is not good enough, so I have to work hard to cultivate him to become a better person.
Advertisers are well aware of this, so they are constantly creating various information that makes parents anxious.
Parents should also save money and learn this and that for their children, for fear that their children will fall behind. So we need to apply for early education for children, cultivate large exercises and fine movements, and cultivate social skills; we need to memorize ancient poems, learn mathematical thinking, and lay a solid foundation for children;
While the child is young, learn English as his mother tongue, and sign up for various interest classes before the child goes to elementary school to find his interests; before going to junior high school, complete all the certificates of interest classes; before going to high school, learn English to the college entrance examination and score more than 130 points, and make time for other subjects.
When you go to college, you must plan the direction of your graduation job and the certificates you need at work, or study abroad on IELTS and TOEFL, college high school...
This information is continuously input into your brain through the Internet, through the mobile phone in your hand, without anxiety? What a weird thing!
How do we relieve anxiety?
First of all, we must understand that anxiety cannot be eliminated and should not be eliminated. This is what remains in the genes in order to adapt to the environment during the evolution of humans. In order to adapt to the environment, it is of great value to human survival.
How should parents relieve their anxiety about raising children? The official statement of
is generally unaware of it. Let me tell you a simple and practical method, which is to look for "reference ".
In physics, there is a word called "reference object". Are you moving or still? You must first look at what the reference object is? If you are sitting in a running car, you are moving relative to the people on the roadside, but you are still relative to the items in the car.
We can find a reference for our children to relieve our anxiety and remember to look down.
Once when I went shopping for groceries, I met an aunt who used Alipay to pay for it. She first swept the red envelope, and was 88 cents. She sighed and complained: "Why are there so few today? I swept more than 4 yuan yesterday?" She complained non-stop.
When I was buying vegetables, I brushed 32 cents. When she turned around and saw my screen, she immediately burst into laughter happily! Look, after a comparison of , her mood instantly improved a lot. 's head no longer hurts and her waist no longer hurts, which is due to my "reference" red envelope that is lower than her.
Do you think your child is dragging on the ink of his homework, sloppy fonts, unable to remember words, and even having to beat his toes by his oral calculations? Can't teach it no matter how much you teach it? When playing games on mobile phones, no matter how you say it is, you will never get into the oil or salt?
Think about those children in special schools , at least your own children are healthy, your brain is smart, and you can take care of yourself.
If your child has good academic performance, it is regarded as a gift from God; if he is destined to be a poor student, no matter if you are a doctoral supervisor at Peking University Education, you cannot directly pass on the magical skills to your child. It is better to relax.
does not compare up, look down, after all, there are people outside the world, there is a sky outside the world, and there is a mountain that has been compared before this mountain, and when can it be compared before the next mountain?
is like a poem about inscription : "Everyone says the road is not uniform, and I ride a donkey when others ride a horse, and look back at the cart pusher, it is better than the top than the bottom."
If you blame your child for his low grades, he says, "There are still worse than me, so who hasn't finished the test paper?" You should be glad that at least the child is easily satisfied and will adjust his mentality. He has not been infected by your anxiety.
If one day, your child is worried and crying when facing his own test paper, he must strive for the first place. As parents, you must learn to help your child relieve stress and not add burdens on the child’s already heavy shoulders.
Life is still long, and it is really not easy to raise a healthy baby in body and mind. Don’t complain about your child’s many shortcomings. Find the “references” around you, and your anxiety will be relieved a lot.
Perria There is a proverb that says: " Before I saw a person without feet, I kept complaining about because I had no shoes." What do you think about alleviating the anxiety of raising a baby?
#My second issue of creation in Toutiao#
#education##family education#
(the picture is from the Internet, it will be deleted if infringed)
