Author: Mi Qiao (Columnist of Fushu)
Not long ago, I saw a video online:
In the video, the boy was sitting in the back seat of the electric bicycle, eating buns with relish, while staring at his phone intently.
At the same time, the gray-haired grandfather struggled to push the cart and the boy in the back seat of the car to move forward with difficulty. As soon as the video of
appeared, it aroused the feelings of netizens.
Everyone said that seeing children like this, they feel that parents have greater responsibility. It is understandable to love children, but they should also let children understand that love is mutual.
The children are so old. They not only ignore grandpa's hard work, but also rely on their love for them, so they naturally let grandpa push carts for him. There is a high praise comment below the video:
" Love too much is a harm. There is no natural ungrateful wolf, and many ungrateful wolf are spoiled. Parents really need to reflect on it carefully to raise their children like this. "
After watching the video, I was thinking, perhaps, for a family, parents work hard to do everything but cannot cultivate a child who knows how to be grateful is the greatest sorrow of a family.
The more humble the parents, the more ruthless the children are
Such an angry scene happened in a hospital in Baoji, Shaanxi.
The girl asked her mother for money to buy a drink but was rejected, so she started to do it directly. First he slapped his mother a few times, and then kicked her hard with his feet.
While punching and kicking my mother, she gritted her teeth and shouted, "Beat you to death, beat you to death."
And this mother stood there all the way, without fighting back at all, just said weakly, "Don't hit mom, don't hit mom."
Coincidentally, similar tragedies have been repeated.
In a subway station in Wuhan, Hubei, a girl put her hands in her pockets and kicked her mother who was dragging her heavy suitcase. The reason was that she thought her mother had taken the wrong subway and was extremely arrogant.
The onlookers couldn't stand it anymore and wanted to pull the girl away, but they didn't expect that the girl not only did not appreciate it, but also began to chase and beat passers-by.
Facing her arrogant and domineering daughter, the mother carrying a big bag and a small bag not only did not blame her at all, but instead apologized to her children in a kind voice. This approach surprised netizens.
Some netizens quipped, "This mother is like a child who did something wrong in front of her daughter."
Before seeing such a picture on the Internet.
The son crossed his legs on the chair, playing with his cell phone leisurely. At the same time, the mother was humbly kneeling in front of her son, holding her chest and lowering her head, without moving.
This is the case. After the child was willful and refused to go to school, the mother used her trump card: to sell miserable things.
So, the scene of the mother kneeling down to her son.
But my son didn't take this trick at all. Not only did he not have any sympathy for his mother who had been kneeling for nearly an hour, he took a photo of his mother kneeling and posted it on WeChat Moments, with the caption "Happy every day." Children like
It is indeed heartbreaking to see a child like this. But the attitudes of these parents are also thought-provoking.
The child frowned at the mother, and the mother bowed her head and knelt down to the child. Children are not as domineering as children, and parents are not as humble as parents.
We always mistakenly think that as long as it is for the good of children, it doesn’t matter whether it is for the sake of the good of the child.
can be found?
If you are a cow, your child will really treat you as a cow. If you are a horse, your child will only treat you as a horse. In the end, in addition to being self-touching, it will only increase the child's disgust for himself.
People are born with a mentality of admiration. How can you expect a parent who allows children to bully him but does not know how to resist can cultivate a child who admires his parents from the bottom of his heart, loves his parents, and wants to be his parents?
The book "Positive Discipline" says:
"Children are like stones. If the tool you use is a hammer, then what you create can only be rough gravel.
If the tool you use is a carving knife, then what you carve out is an exquisite work of art."
In other words, what children will eventually become depends largely on the way parents educate their children. If the method is wrong, love will also cause harm.
Before, I always liked to play emotional cards with my children, and sometimes even lowered my posture to cater to their children's needs.
But I always feel that my child doesn’t like me so much, and even talks back to me.
One day, I complained to my friend:
"I just didn't care about my child, but he didn't seem to appreciate it."
After listening to my words, my friend asked me a question:
"Do you like how you compromise with your child again and again?"
A sentence from a friend enlightened me, yes! I even despise myself when I bow my head to my child without any bottom line. How can I ask my child to really like it?
Later, I finally figured out a truth:
Humble parents can never raise children with affection and righteousness. On the contrary, the humbler parents, the more ruthless the children are.
Children who do not know how to be grateful are useless no matter how outstanding they are
There is a saying that goes: "The kindness of parents, water cannot drown, and fire cannot be extinguished."
Gratitude is the smallest of virtues, but also the most fundamental. Children do not know how to be grateful, and no matter how outstanding they are, it is useless.
The father spent money to ask his daughter to study abroad, but the daughter scolded her father online for being a "disgusting thing" and even said to her father: "Old guy, if you can't afford to raise this fairy, don't give birth to that year." What is going on in
?
Things start with a chat with her father.
The domestic father received his daughter's consumption bill overseas, so he patiently reminded his daughter that his salary was limited and hoped that his daughter would try to keep her living expenses within 10,000 yuan.
But the daughter not only did not appreciate her father's persuasion, but also said to him coldly: "I don't want to quarrel with you early in the morning."
When the father hoped that his daughter could understand her difficulties, she angrily retorted: "It's not easy for me, either."
What is even more heartbreaking is that less than an hour after the father and daughter chatted, the daughter sent the chat history to the WeChat group with the text "Disgusting".
even sent the photos and real information of his father to the Internet, asking netizens to rape his father online, and shouted: "Whoever rapes her father online, she will send nude photos to whoever she brides on the Internet."
These children spend a lot of money on their parents, eat delicious food, wear famous brands, only know their own happiness, not their parents' hardships.
This reminds me of something that happened to my cousin not long ago:
In order to get my son to go to college, my cousin spent almost all his savings. As a result, after graduation, my son not only stopped looking for a job, but also started to get old at home.
not only spent all the savings left in the family, but also sold my cousin's car.
In order to repay the online loan, my nephew actually started to have a idea of a cousin's house this year.
Seeing that half of his life's hard work was about to be squandered by his unscrupulous son, my cousin could no longer sit still and rejected his son's excessive request.
As a result, the father and son fought for this, and the son also claimed to break off the father-son relationship with his cousin.
How many families are parents gritting their teeth and carrying the burden of life, and supporting a greenhouse garden that cannot be penetrated by rain or blown by wind for their children.
Children are used to unilateral requests and think that everything can be easily obtained, so they do not know how to cherish it. The parents who were asked for it because they had no principles and did not know how to set boundaries, and kept trashing themselves and sacrificing themselves. As a result, he turned himself into the victim of being asked for.
Great Confucian Zhu Xi once said: "Those who spoil their hearts do not understand, and those who are greedy are insatiable."
If a child does not know how to be grateful, no matter how outstanding other aspects are, it will be of no benefit to the family and society.
The greatest blessing of a family is not that the children raised are promising, but that the children with promising are grateful.
Raising a child who knows how to be grateful is far better than raising thousands of ungrateful wolves who do not know how to be grateful.
Don’t want to raise your children, parents should learn to be cruel
I remembered a news from a while ago:
19-year-old sophomore boy, in order to help his parents relieve stress, used the holiday to be a deliveryman, and gave a total of 3,470 orders in 60 days.
Because I often run outdoors, I often have to face high temperature exposure and my skin is tanned.
Not only that, it is not only common to be exposed to high temperatures, but also to be poured into rain. In order to make more money, I don’t even go home at noon.
is like this. I didn’t have a day off for two months, and I earned a total of 17,350 yuan. Not only did I save enough tuition, but I also saved enough living expenses.
In an interview, his mother said:
Seeing his son being tanned constantly, he felt distressed after not bringing a raincoat to the rain, but his parents cannot shelter him from the wind and rain for the rest of their lives, and hope that the child will continue to cheer on his life. "
Soviet educator Sukhomlinsky said:
" Don't protect children without letting them work, and don't be afraid that their children's hands will be called out. Let your children know that bread is hard-won. ”
As parents, we should not let our children choose comfort at the age when they should endure hardship. Every bit of hardship that we eat now will become the sugar in our future life.
Jay Chou Once shared his childhood experience in an interview:
Jay Chou once shared his childhood experience in an interview:
He said that his mother was very strict with him. Other people's children were playing and he wanted to be locked in the house to practice the piano. When practicing the piano, his mother often looked at him with a rattan in her hand.
But when he grew up, he was very grateful to his mother for forcing him to learn not to give up easily. Therefore, he wrote the song "Listen to Mom".
After becoming famous, Lang Lang, a piano master, said more than once in an interview: "If I hadn't been my dad, I wouldn't be the one I am now."
Back then, Lang Lang, , moved to Beijing, and his father accompanied him to study. The father and son lived in a dilapidated building with garbage everywhere.
Let's explore The mother of the hope was unable to see that her son was guilty of this crime and wanted to persuade her father to go back.
but was rejected by her father. He said, "Don't affect your son's future. What has been decided is no matter how hard it is, you must go on."
It is precisely because of his father's persistence and strictness that he laid a solid foundation for Lang Lang's later life. Now Lang Lang has also understood his father's good intentions.
The book "Extremely cruel, especially love" says:
"The love that Chinese parents give to their children is not too little but too much.
can't bear to let them experience the difficulties of life from an early age, and they don't know how to ask them for it at the right time. Therefore, it ultimately leads to children's difficulties for life and ask them for it forever!"
In fact, parents who are truly in a stylistic manner are willing to let their children suffer, because only children educated in this way can understand the difficulty of life, experience the bitterness of their parents, and be grateful for their parents' efforts.
Spoiling a rebellious son, spoiling a son is like killing a son. True love should be a little "ruthless" and a little "ruthless".
Author Profile: Mi Qiao, Fushu columnist, atypical Virgo, likes to run, read, write and all beautiful things, article: parents read carefully, the copyright of this article belongs to Fushu. It is not allowed to be reproduced without authorization, and infringement will be pursued. Fushu 2018 launched a new book "Life Good"
