Text丨Lu Jingxian
Preface:
Famous educator Ushinsky said: If you develop good habits, you will never enjoy the interest it brings to you in your life. If you develop bad habits, you will be repaying endless debts in your life.
's cultivation and education of children is essentially the cultivation of children's living habits. Infant childhood, it is the best time to shape children's various behaviors and habits. If you miss it, correcting it will not only take a lot of time and energy, but it may not be able to get what you want.
A person's living habits largely determine how he looks in the future
01
unit work overtime, and a colleague took her daughter overtime with her. My colleague's daughter is chubby and she wears a pair of glasses and a braid at a young age.
When we were working overtime, our colleague took out a lot of snacks for our daughter. So my daughter was eating snacks while looking at her phone.
Somehow, I feel that this child is likely to be disabled in the future, and at most he is a mediocre person in the future.
Some people may say: Most children are mediocre people, and most of us themselves are mediocre people.
Yes, most of us are ordinary people. Including our children, there is a high probability that they are ordinary mortals.
But even an ordinary person is divided into people who work hard and people who don’t work hard, people who work hard and people who don’t work hard to live a good life.
This is actually the difference between aspiring people and aspiring people without aspiring people.
Why do I feel that my colleague’s daughter is disabled? It’s because I can’t see any sign of ambition in her daughter.
Because the most obvious feature of an aspiring child is: self-discipline.
02
I found that most parents in life have almost no requirements except for having requirements for their children in their studies. What's left is to blindly meet the requirements of children in all aspects.
I wonder if you are such a parent too?
But in fact, this has deeply harmed the child.
After all, when children grow up and come into society in the future, they are destined to step out of their parents' protection and take on everything they have to do: work, life, family, children's education, etc.
At this time, the lack of growth is exposed:
will not take care of yourself;
does not develop good living habits;
will not communicate with people;
...
These all affect the children's future life and the quality of all aspects, thus forming a person's so-called destiny.
03
Why do I not optimistic about my colleague’s daughter? In fact, it means that children do not develop good living habits during their growth process.
As the saying goes, you can see the whole leopard with a glimpse:
My colleague's daughter is chubby and wears glasses: This means that she rarely exercises and lacks exercise;
While waiting for her mother, she eats snacks while looking at her mobile phone: This means that the child has not developed good living habits in daily life.
Eating snacks and looking at your phone are not only unhelpful to your children, but also harmful to them.
From all these, it can be seen that children have not established good living habits since childhood. Once a habit is formed, it will last for a long time and have a profound impact.
A child, once he has not established good habits since childhood, it will be difficult to cultivate it when he grows up.
Unless you are awakened at a certain period of time, you will work hard to change and break through.
But if you can naturally form good habits when you are a child, why wait for the awakening at a certain period of time when you grow up?
and it may not necessarily awaken.
And if a person wants to become a talent, he must be self-disciplined. After all, there is no shortcut to success, you can only work hard and not be afraid of hardship.
When children were young, it was the best time to cultivate and establish living habits
04
What is the best time to cultivate and establish living habits for children?
is actually when you are 0-6 years old.
Because the child has not taken shape in all aspects at this time.
And this is also the best time for children to be the most obedient and easiest to shape their life and behavioral habits.
But at this time, it is a period that many parents will ignore: they only require their children to be healthy and eat enough.
Don’t believe it, look at the young children around you, except playing, eating and sleeping every day. The parents around them also seem to be not concerned about the education of these young children.
When the child goes to kindergarten, the education is directly handed over to the school.
Only after entering primary school did they gradually pay attention to their children's learning and education.
In fact, several years of precious time have been wasted at this time. Children have even begun to develop some bad habits, so they have to make great efforts to correct and change.
Because when children were young, it was the best time to cultivate and establish living habits.
This is the same as the principle of plants. When a tree is best corrected, the seedlings will take shape once they grow up and cannot be corrected. The same goes for
people. When I was a child, it was the best time to cultivate and establish various habits and behaviors. Once you grow up and want to retrain, it is too late.
There is a passage in the memorandum given to parents by American schools:
Don't let me develop bad habits. When I was young, I had to rely on you to judge right or wrong.
05
Some parents may say: I attach great importance to the cultivation of my children when I was young. Look, I have enrolled my children in so many interest classes and study classes!
In fact, here comes a misunderstanding of thinking: the misunderstanding of children's cultivation.
Many people equate children's learning single and one-sidedly with learning a certain skill specifically, which leads to ignoring all aspects of life learning. In fact, the role and value of learning in life are no less than the learning of a certain skill, and even more important than that of a certain skill. Especially for preschool children.
For example, the ability to do things independently: wear shoes by yourself, eat by yourself, change clothes by yourself, etc.;
For example, the establishment of reading habits: on the contrary, many parents have allowed their children to come into contact with TV and mobile phones since childhood. As a result, when the child grows up, parents have to spend a lot of effort to grab the child from the TV and mobile phones, and the effect is very minimal.
…
The real cultivation of children is actually in life. Especially for young children, everything in life can become an opportunity to cultivate them:
Take them out more to come into contact with nature and participate in various sports activities;
cultivate their observation ability at all times and cultivate eyes that discover beauty;
establish good living habits from an early age: go to bed early and get up early, pay attention to exercise, etc.;
cultivate reading interest and habits:
...
When children form healthy living habits and interests, it can be said that our education for children has been half completed. All that remains is to encourage him to continue to persevere and develop more beneficial and healthy habits and interests.
Have good living and learning habits determine the future life and direction of children
06
In fact, the gap between children has been buried when children are young. It just doesn't show up so quickly, because it takes time just like the growth of a plant.
However, instead of us waiting for our children to grow up and envy "other people's children", it is better to cultivate them carefully when they are young;
Instead of worrying about their children's bad behavior and fighting wits and courage when they are in their teens, it is better to help their children establish good living habits when they are young.
Because the best time to build habits is when you are a child.
So, in the process of accompanying children, we need to have a long-term vision and long-term plan, not just focus on the present.
Many parents who regret at a certain period of their children's growth are caused by the lack of long-term planning when their children grow up.
In fact, one of the prerequisites for establishing a long-term vision and planning is to understand that children's growth and education are a marathon, not a sprint race, and the results will be immediately clear. It takes time to accumulate and ferment.
Therefore, in children's education, parents who are interested and plan naturally have a certain gap compared to children taught by parents who are unconscious and planless. As time ferments, the gap between children will only grow bigger and bigger.
Japanese writer Furukawa wrote in "Persistence, a habit that can be developed":
"Once the brain determines that a certain behavior is as usual, it will try hard to maintain this behavior. And habit is to turn repeated actions into unconscious actions."
Aristotle also said this:
"Repetitive behavior creates us.
Therefore, excellence is not an action, but a habit."
Psychological research found that the critical period for children's order norms is 2.5 to 6 years old. It is a critical period for the formation of children's behavioral habits, and the personalities, behaviors and habits formed during this period often do not change when they grow up.
As the saying goes, "At the age of three, you see the age of seven."
Please pay attention to the cultivation of children's behavior and living habits before the child is 6 years old.
Do this well and your child’s education is half successful.
