The life pressure of young people will increase with the formation of families. In order to give their children a good future, both husband and wife have to continue to work hard, and mothers must be willing to put down their children and hand over their children even after taking maternity leave. Bring it to the elderly at home.
Generally speaking, the grandma takes care of most of the children. Due to the difficult relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the mother of the child often feels that "my mother-in-law is always robbing me of the child."
A mother in the group complained to us:
After half a year of postpartum leave, her mother-in-law helped take care of the child for more than half a year. She obviously felt that the child was no longer close to her. Even when she returned home from get off work, her mother-in-law "occupied" the child. The mother-in-law didn't want the child to find her mother, and wanted the child to sleep with her at night. The mother-in-law also told the child that her mother was tired from work, so she could just sleep with her grandma.
Seeing this, Abti told her, don’t worry too much. The child is not sensible yet. He will kiss whoever takes care of him more. When he understands the meaning of mother in the future, if you want to take him away, he will still rely on you. Woolen cloth.
Because I have also encountered this situation. My eldest daughter was brought to me by my mother-in-law when she was 3 years old. Usually the child is at her mother-in-law's house. Occasionally, I ask my mother-in-law to take her back to my home. The child is not happy and cries loudly. I also thought that the child is following me. No kiss, and sometimes she shed tears secretly. A child born in ten months of pregnancy treats his mother like this.
Later, the child went to kindergarten and had to go home to live. At first, the child was not used to it and would clamor to go back to grandma's house. Gradually, he got used to it. He kept calling "Mom, Mom" all day long and had to follow him wherever he went. In the end, I didn’t want to go back to grandma’s house anymore, for fear that I wouldn’t want her.
Why do mothers feel that their mother-in-law is always "stealing" their children from them?
. The child is everything to oneself
The child is born after ten months of hard work by the mother. Some mothers even gave birth to the child with their own lives, so their feelings for the child are very deep. It can also be said that the child is everything to oneself.
It’s just that, in order to let their children live a better life, mothers have to go back to work after giving birth to children, and have to ask the elderly at home to help take care of the children. The attitude of the elderly towards their children is different from that of their biological mothers. They don’t care what happens to their children in the future. , they only think about how to treat their children well, to the point of pampering them too much.
When mothers see these things, they feel that their position in the eyes of their children has been replaced. The children rely on their mother-in-law and "hate" themselves. They will inevitably feel uncomfortable and feel that their mother-in-law is "robbing" the children from them. .
. Don’t like children to be intimate with grandma
Even if the mother-in-law comes to help take care of the child, the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law still exists. At this time, if the child is intimate with grandma, the mother will feel very insecure and fear that the child will do the same in the future. Grandma is more affectionate.
Moreover, women are easily jealous. Mothers will feel uncomfortable if their children kiss their grandmothers. After all, their love for their children is no less than the love that their grandmothers have for their grandchildren.
Especially when she sees her child feeling uncomfortable, grandma seems more nervous than anyone else. From time to time she complains that she has not taken good care of her child, and then she is anxious.
. Not integrating into the family
Most of the children have their father’s surname, so Bao’s mother has a foreign surname. Although grandma also has a foreign surname, she is the child’s grandma and is Bao’s father’s mother, so she calls the child by her name. When the family is young, the mother will have a feeling of not being able to integrate into the family and automatically exclude herself.
I remember one time, my mother-in-law was teasing a child, asking her what her last name was, and then asking her what her mother’s last name was. While playing, she said that mom and you and dad have a different last name, and that you are our little baby.
Maybe my mother-in-law said this unintentionally, but it didn’t sit well with me, so I asked my mother-in-law not to say it like that in the future. But in fact, I felt very uncomfortable. I felt like they were having a great time as a family and I was redundant.
Many mothers feel this way about their mothers-in-law always "stealing" their children from them. However, as mothers-in-law, they may not be trying to steal their children from their wives. They only dote on their children and tolerate them too much.
Let’s see how mothers resolve this idea:
Cherry Mom: As long as the mother-in-law doesn’t say bad things about the mother in front of the children, then I can let her take care of the children, and I can feel relaxed. .
Xiaoxia: If you find that your mother-in-law is robbing you of your child, you should quickly snatch it back and take it with you. Don’t let your child ignore you until you realize that the child is not close to you. Then it will be difficult to establish a relationship with the child. .
Jingjing: My mother-in-law loves my children very much, but she will teach them to say that I love my mother, and my mother works very hard, etc., so I like my mother-in-law to help me take care of my children.
Duoduo’s mother: My mother-in-law likes children because the child is the youngest in the family and her son’s child. Naturally, she will pamper her more. In other words, wouldn’t it be better to have one more person to pamper your child?
Finally
It is normal for mothers to have this kind of thinking, but since they do not have time to take care of their children, and this kind of thinking is not good for the children, we must change this thinking in time, change our thinking, and think about what we can do When you go to work and don't have to work so hard to take care of your children, you may feel a lot more relieved.
The mother's mentality has improved, and she can deal with her children's problems calmly, instead of being resentful all day long, and even bringing a bad atmosphere to her children and family.
Text: Abti talks about parenting
