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"I really didn't expect that I couldn't take her for almost three years compared to her grandma taking her for three months. When I gave birth to my second child, I thought I would have to stay up all night. I couldn't take care of her and was afraid of delays. When the eldest son went to sleep, the daughter was reluctant to sleep with her at first. After a few nights of fussing, she agreed to sleep with her.
After three months, she felt that her second son was sleeping regularly, so she wanted to hold her in her arms at night. The two of us slept together. Unexpectedly, the boss stopped looking for me and asked me to get out. Yue gave birth to her and took her day and night for nearly three years, but it was not as good as her grandmother's three months."
Listening to my friend's lonely complaints, I understand her feelings about being a mother. But I can only advise her that if you let her sleep with her grandma as soon as she has her second child, she will feel that her mother no longer loves her after she has a sister. In the past three months, her grandma has slept with her and made her dependent. and a sense of security, it is normal for her to transfer her feelings to her grandma. But this is only temporary. As long as you pay more patience and time to the boss, she will still love her mother the most in her heart.
A child will kiss whoever he sleeps with.
A child's relationship is very pure, that is, he will kiss whoever takes him to bed at night. Especially for children aged 0-3, their inner sense of security has not yet been fully established. They will have special trust and dependence on the parents who take care of them to sleep together.
Especially at night, when a child sleeps with someone, he feels the person's breath and company, and falls asleep under the comfort of this person. When the child gets used to this person's company, he will trust this person extra and be more willing to get close to this person. Therefore, for working mothers, if they do not have time to accompany their children during the day, they must take their children to bed at night and make full use of the parent-child time at night. Otherwise, the children will not be close to each other and it will be too late to regret later.
Having a second child makes it even more difficult to ignore the eldest child.
My friend’s eldest son rejected his mother when she was three months pregnant. It’s not that I really hate my mother. Just because the mother puts all her attention on the second child, the child feels that he is not taken seriously by his mother. At this time, his grandma is accompanying him. So the child transferred his emotional dependence to his grandmother.
As long as she is not a mother who doesn't care about her children. Then for some reason the child is temporarily handed over to someone else to raise, causing the child to be temporarily alienated from the mother. As long as the mother patiently comforts and accompanies her attentively afterwards, the child's heart will still return to the mother. You must know that no one can replace a mother who loves her children.
The experience of my friend’s eldest son also serves as a reminder to all parents who want to have a second or third child. When the second child is born and the whole family is immersed in the joy of the birth of a new life, it is the time when the eldest child is most vulnerable to neglect and may even feel that he is not loved. If the parents do not pay attention to the eldest child's emotions and psychology at this time, it will cause irreversible damage to the eldest child's psychology, and it will also affect the relationship between the children and the harmony of the family.
So after having the second child, if the eldest child has always slept with his parents, don’t force the eldest child to sleep with other people just because you have the second child. At the same time, parents should pay more attention to let the eldest child know that even if he has younger siblings, he is still loved.
[Topic discussion: Who does your child sleep with at night? 】
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