In old age, everyone's children will get married and have children. There is a saying that everyone is selfish. Some old people like to tease and play with their children, some choose to be single or travel with their wives, and some old people have no partners. Maybe go square dancing or find a partner.
When we live, we are nothing more than trying to find some meaning of existence or some kind of joy of existence.
As an old man, he must regard the inheritance of his children as the most important part. Therefore, once his children give birth to grandchildren, the old people will be very happy. They must be very happy in the first year and can’t wait to hold their grandchildren. Granddaughter, then some problems may arise over time.
Of course, many children are taken care of by their parents, because parents are their children's best teachers, and there may be a generation gap between grandparents.
However, urban men and women are often under great pressure, so even in middle age they have to rush for career and wealth. At this time, it may be difficult to balance career and children.
At this time, grandparents may go to their children's homes to help take care of their grandchildren. Grandparents may be willing to do so, smiling every day. Then big data statistics show, is this kind of life where the elderly help take care of their grandchildren really what grandparents want?
After helping their children and grandchildren for several years, many elderly people express their unspeakable hardships. They say that if given the chance, they would choose to live another life. Aunt Xiao is such a living example, let us learn about it together.
Aunt Xiao’s self-report:
I am 61 years old this year. When I was young, my wife and I also traveled to other provinces and saw the mountains, rivers and lakes. I have no regrets in this life.
My wife and I are very much in love and rarely quarrel in our lives. In fact, it is normal to argue at the head of the bed and at the end of the bed. Basically every couple has it. Many people fall in love with each other, but my wife and I did not fight until the last moment. The love is as good as ever.
My wife is 5 years older than me. He passed away a few years ago. The reason was also because his body organs were aging and various functions were relatively poor. Maybe he overeated and didn't pay attention to his health when he was young, so he died before me. .
But I don’t feel too much pain, because I know that everyone will pass through that test, and life is sometimes destined by God. We have a son and a daughter, and together they are a good word, which is quite perfect. I want nothing more.
My daughter gave birth to the second child a few years ago, a daughter, and the first child was a son, but I have never taken care of my grandson. I don’t know how happy my wife and I are to live together until old age. I had helped my son take care of the children for a year or two before. Due to a minor conflict with my daughter-in-law, I ran back to my hometown very wisely because I was afraid that my son would be caught in the middle and it would be difficult.
My daughter told me last year that she was unable to take care of two children by herself, so she asked me to come over and help with the childcare. She also told me that she was worried that I would be alone in my hometown because she was afraid that I would be bored or have no one to take care of me if I got sick.
I think my daughter and I have always had a better relationship because she is my little cotton-padded jacket, but I didn’t expect that problems would arise in the first year I went there.
I feel that I can help my children as much as possible, not only because they are my children, but also because I am afraid that when I reach old age, they will ignore me when I need them, so I go there very happily.
The first year I went there, my daughter and I had a dispute over childcare.
Her son was in primary school. During one music class, the teacher asked each student to complete a task, so I urged my grandson to study. But I didn’t expect my daughter to say, “Why don’t you go to school and take pictures of what the teacher said?”
Because of this incident, my daughter blamed me, so I filmed it for my grandson next time. However, because I didn’t take the complete video that my daughter taught me to take, I was scolded by my daughter when I came back.After
, because I had to download something from the Internet, I didn’t download it. As a result, my daughter said to me: “How come you don’t know anything? You can’t even play with such a simple mobile phone. What’s the use of you? No. Have I bought you a smartphone? I’ve taught you hundreds of times and you still don’t know how to do it!”
In short, my daughter scolded me many times, and I had quarrels with her, as if no matter what I did, my daughter would deny me. .
My daughter and I also have differences in our educational concepts. I think letting my grandson think and make judgments independently should be given top priority, but my daughter thinks that children are so young that it is impossible for them to think and learn independently, let alone make judgments.
I go to the park with my grandson every week. The purpose is to accompany my grandson to the park to play with the children and exercise. I can also exercise. However, my daughter says that I am lazy and that my grandson's age is the best age for learning. Let play be delayed. But I think it is natural for children to love to play, and we cannot erase their natural fun.
In short, my daughter said that many behaviors are harmful to the children. Not only the grandson is like this, but also the granddaughter. My daughter thinks that I am not educating my granddaughter. It makes me unable to do anything. She says that I am delaying my daughter. of brain development.
I feel very aggrieved. There are also problems with educating my daughter the way she teaches. I feel that I am focusing on raising the baby, but I do not get appreciation and rewards from my daughter. Instead, I am accused by my daughter of being useless. I am like a mute who eats Coptis chinensis and feels miserable.
Later, Aunt Xiao quarreled with her daughter. There was no serious quarrel, but Aunt Xiao moved out.
After returning to her hometown, Aunt Xiao usually chatted with friends and relatives, and would complain to them about how miserable she was. Finally, he gave them advice, saying that if they had the choice, they should never give their daughter a grandson. They must think it over carefully, otherwise they would regret it. It wasted time and energy not to talk, and the mother and daughter were separated. After
, what Aunt Xiao told her relatives and friends in the countryside was recognized by the strangers and elderly people around her. There was a village committee there, and many elderly people would go there to enjoy the cool air and even dance in the square in the summer. Many people said that Aunt Xiao said It makes sense.
So, when children really need the elderly to help take care of their grandchildren, what should they do?
1. Communicate more with parents
Today’s young people may be working hard for their careers, so they are very busy and really don’t have time to take care of their children. So at this time, as children, you should communicate more with the elderly, and you should talk to the elderly from the beginning. The methods and concepts of education must be clearly explained to nip family conflicts in the bud. Otherwise, once the child is handed over to the parents and one blames the parents for poor care or education, things will become very embarrassing.
Elderly people also want to take good care of their grandchildren, and their children also want to educate their children well, so at the beginning, it is necessary to find out whether the educational concepts of the two people are consistent, and then consider whether to leave the children to their parents for care and education.
2. The time of the elderly is as valuable as the time of the young.
Although the elderly are old, many of them have unfulfilled ambitions or want to live in old age. Children must take this into consideration and do not think that the lives and time of the elderly are not valuable. of. Youth is indeed precious, but in old age, many old people still have a good mentality, similar to that of young people. Therefore, young people must realize that old people also have precious time to spend, and time does not only belong to young people.
3. Learn to be grateful
Children must understand that it is not their obligation for the elderly to take care of their children. The elderly will go to the children's homes to be "free nannies" because they feel sorry for their children. Otherwise, who would want to waste their time like that.
It is natural and ethical for children to be filial and their parents to be loving, so children must be grateful to their parents. In this world, almost every parent loves their children.
It’s just that everyone has their own troubles and worries, so we must live a good life and be grateful to our parents.
Parents can take good care of their grandchildren willingly. This is a sign of love for their children. When children love their children, they must take their parents into consideration, because their parents also treat themselves in the same way. So you must not just think about yourself.
If you talk too much about big principles, everyone will get tired. In short, everyone understands many basic principles, but how to do them becomes the first priority. The relationship between children and parents does not happen overnight, so don't get angry casually. If you don't control your temper, your temper will control you.
The last thing I want to say is that when the elderly reach old age, because they are close to the gate of hell, they may have some regrets and some things that they cannot let go of, which will inevitably cause worries in their hearts. Therefore, children must not think that their youth is worth cherishing. As with spending time, the elderly's time is equally valuable.
As filial children, we must make enough money to give our parents some care and freedom of time, so that the elderly can live a happy old age. This is something that every child should do.
