As the children grow up, all parents and friends must feel the same as Meiya, with everything mixed. We always have expectations for our children, so we always want to plan a path for our children to take that we think is right.
But in fact, children have their own rhythm. They all grow up in their own rhythm. We can give them love, but we cannot impose our love. So these five things, especially before the child is 6 years old, never force the child.
1. Don’t force your children to sleep in separate rooms.
Regarding the issue of when to sleep in separate rooms, Meiya has also discussed with people around her. A mother was very anxious to push her child out when she was four years old, causing her to sleep in separate rooms every day. I have to have a "battle" with my children before going to bed at night, and the effect is not good. In fact, every child is an independent individual and cannot be treated according to the same standards.
We should follow the children's rhythm. When the children feel safe enough, they will actively propose to sleep in separate rooms.
2. Don’t force your children to admit their mistakes.
In fact, everyone is familiar with the term "beating into a trick". Blindly scolding forces children to admit their mistakes. Even if the mistake is indeed made by the child, the final coercion will only make the children admit their mistakes in order to cooperate with you. You know, if the child does not take the initiative, such an admission of mistake is meaningless.
If the same thing happens again, the child will think that just saying "I'm sorry" can be used as a talisman. As long as you say it at any time, the problem will be solved. This does not fundamentally solve the problem.
In fact, rather than forcing children to admit their mistakes, helping children establish the values of distinguishing right from wrong is the most important thing. This behavior comes from parents' precepts and deeds. When parents can sincerely apologize and actively make up for their mistakes when they make mistakes, children will understand what true and effective acknowledgment of mistakes is.
What we need to do is to teach children how to face the mistakes they have made and how to make up for them. This is the correct attitude.
3. Don’t force children to memorize by rote
The teaching model of rote memorization is an inherent stereotype in China, but in fact, this teaching method is not in line with children’s brain development. Forcing children to memorize by rote will not only make it impossible for them to learn well, but will also arouse their rebellious psychology.
Therefore, before children are six years old, instead of letting them memorize by rote, it is better to follow the direction of children's thinking development, use children's curiosity and whimsy, and then use concrete things to understand abstract numerical symbols, so as to drive children's enthusiasm and enthusiasm for knowledge. eager.
4. Don’t force your children to be sensible
“You have to be sensible” is what parents often say, but they don’t know that this is a kind of obliteration of children’s nature.
Allowing a three-year-old child to understand the emotional world of adults is undoubtedly harmful to the child's thinking. Such children will lose themselves and only know how to accommodate and please others, living in the shadow of "getting approval from others".
A good parent should be a container that tolerates the true emotions of children. No matter what emotions the children are in, the only thing we have to do is to guide them in a positive way, rather than forcing them to perform tasks according to their own ideas.
Only those who take care of themselves can take care of others. Dare to express their emotions is the most important self-awareness for children.
5. Don’t force children to be brave
Regardless of boys or girls, no gender must be brave.
When children face unknown things, timidity and fear are actually a kind of protection for them. The courage to face these things is not forced. Parents’ step by step wisdom makes children more afraid and resistant, and they lack anxiety. The sense of security then becomes even more fragile.
Parents can give positive guidance to their children and help them understand their unknown fears.
Conclusion : We are all first-time parents, and we have all been anxious, scared, helpless, and confused. But our essence is all for our children. Watching our children grow up healthily, of course, there are many ups and downs in it. Meiya will grow up with all parents and give children the happiest childhood.
is written at the end: I am Meiya, a dramatic mother with two little mythical beasts, and also an optometrist . Let us share the ups and downs of parenting together, grow together, and become qualified mothers and fathers ~
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Electronic picture books/parent-child games/positive discipline/cartoon
