It is only after two or three years that boys enter school that they really begin to be trained to incorporate them into the cautious lifestyle of adults. Before this, the child learns to control the body. If they are too naughty, "treat" their naughtiness and distract them. He was kindly exhorted and sometimes laughed at. But he was free to do whatever he wanted, including being rough with his mother. His little self-centeredness was fostered, and there were no big changes when he started school. The first three years were coeducational. Moreover, both male and female teachers love children and treat them equally. However, their families and schools have repeatedly warned them not to embarrass themselves. Children are still young and do not know "shame", but they must be taught not to "embarrass" themselves. For example, there is a story about a boy who did not have a wolf, but shouted "Wolf is coming! Wolf is coming!" to fool others. If you do the same, people won't believe you. That's really embarrassing. Many Japanese say that when they do something wrong, the first person to laugh at them is their classmates, not their teachers or parents. Indeed, the job of the elders in the family during this period was not to laugh at their children, but to gradually combine being laughed at with the moral education of having to live according to "the moral principles of society." When children are around six years old, the obligations promoted in the form of stories of loyalty and devotion (that is, the touching story of a righteous dog repaying the Lord's kindness in the six-year-old children's book cited above) begin to turn into a series of constraints on them. The elders said to the children, "If you continue like this, the world will laugh at you." There are many rules, and they vary from time to time, and most of them have to do with what we call etiquette. These rules require the subordination of one's will to expanding obligations to one's neighbors, family, and country. He must restrain himself, must recognize the "debt" he has borne, and gradually be in the position of being in debt. If he intends to pay off his debt, he must be cautious in his conduct.
This change of status imparts a new seriousness to the teasing of early childhood to the growing boy. By the age of eight or nine, children sometimes experience real rejection and blow from their families. If the teacher reports to the family that he is disobedient or has behaved disrespectfully, or that his conduct is failing, the family will ignore him. If the shop owner accuses him of doing something naughty, it means "insulting the family reputation" and the whole family will criticize him. Two Japanese people I know were kicked out of their homes by their fathers twice before they were ten years old, and they did not dare to go to relatives' homes because of shame. They are punished by teachers in school. At that time, both of them had to stay in the shack outside. Later, they were discovered by their mother, and they were able to return home after her mother's mediation. Children in the upper grades of elementary school are sometimes forced to stay at home to "be cautious", that is, to "repent," and concentrate on writing diaries, which the Japanese take very seriously. In short, the family regards this boy as their representative in society. When a child is criticized by society, the whole family turns against him. If he violates the "moral principles of society", he cannot expect the support of his family or the support of his peers. When he makes a mistake, his classmates alienate him. He must apologize and vow not to do it again, otherwise his friends will ignore him.
As Jeffrey Guerra has argued: "What is worthy of special mention is that from a sociological point of view, these constraints have reached a degree that is highly unusual. In most societies where extended families or other sectarian groups operate, When a group member is criticized and attacked by other group members, the group will generally rise to defend him. As long as he continues to receive the approval of the group, he firmly believes that he can get the support of the group when necessary or when he is attacked. Full support, and dare to confront everyone outside the group. In Japan, the situation seems to be exactly the opposite. That is to say, only by being recognized by other groups can we count on the support of the group if outsiders disapprove or criticize. The group will also oppose him and punish him unless he can get other groups to withdraw or until the censure is withdrawn. Because of this mechanism, the importance of the approval of the 'outside world' is perhaps unmatched by any other society." [7]
Before this age, there is no essential difference between girls' education and boys' education, except for some minor differences.Girls are more restricted and have to do more things at home than their brothers, although little boys sometimes have to babysit. Girls always have to come last when it comes to receiving gifts and attention. Nor can they be as bad-tempered as boys. However, from the perspective of Asian girls, they have amazing freedom. They can wear bright red clothes, play noisily outside with the boys, and often refuse to admit defeat. She was also "shameless" in early childhood. From the age of six to nine, they gradually understand their responsibilities to society, and their situations and experiences are generally the same as those of boys. After the age of nine, schools are divided into male and female classes, and boys come to value their newfound male solidarity. They exclude girls and are afraid of being seen talking to girls. Mothers also warned girls not to associate with boys. It is said that girls of this age are often melancholy, do not like to go out, and are difficult to educate. Japanese women say this is the end of "childhood". A girl's early childhood ends when she is ostracized by boys. After that, for many years, their life path could only be "self-respect and self-respect". This teaching will last forever, whether at the time of engagement or after marriage.
When boys understand "self-respect" and "compassion to society," they cannot be said to have understood all the responsibilities that Japanese men have. The Japanese say: "Boys begin to learn the 'righteousness of status' from the age of ten." This sentence certainly means "righteousness hates being humiliated." He must also learn the rules of when to attack an opponent directly and when to use indirect means to clear a stigma. I don't think they mean that children learn to fight back when insulted. Boys have already learned to be rough with their mothers when they were young. They compete with other children of similar age to slander and defend themselves. There is no need to learn how to attack their opponents after they are ten years old. However, the code of "Taifu no Giri" requires teenagers to obey its rules, thus fitting their attacks into accepted patterns and providing specific methods of dealing with them. As mentioned earlier, the Japanese tend to direct their attacks toward themselves rather than exercising violence against others. Schoolchildren are no exception.
(Ruth Benedict)
