The role of mother has a long way to go. From pregnancy, breastfeeding, care, to different education methods, they will all affect the child's character development and destiny. Whether a child can have a healthy psychology and a good character, the mother plays a very key role.
Writer Munir Nasuf once said: "Mother is the first school in life for her children."
The recent hit drama "Come on!" "Mom", as the title suggests, is a family drama. The drama mainly revolves around 5 mothers and their children. Their life backgrounds, values, and education methods are different. To some extent, they have given different colors to their children's growth.
01
Strong Mother: Su Qing
Su Qing, a strong lawyer, is vigorous and resolute in the workplace and dominates the limelight. In terms of educating and getting along with their children, they show extreme strength and control, treating their children as accessories, and strictly planning their growth trajectory in the name of "everything is for your own good".
In the eyes of outsiders, Su Qing is strong, has a harmonious family, and has excellent children, and is envied by everyone.
She understands that all this is achieved by sacrificing a lot of self-space and relying on reading and hard work, so she has higher requirements for her children.
Therefore, in terms of study, Xiaofu entered the " chicken baby mode" early, studying questions, training, taking the best school, getting the highest ranking, and doubling the homework. In short, he just kept running to achieve his mother's goal. .
Xiaowen just went to kindergarten, and he couldn't escape either. His time was filled with various specialty classes. He is sensible, conscious, and repressed that is inconsistent with his age.
The oppression in life and education made the son feel suffocated and aggrieved.
Child psychologist Rudolf Drakes seriously pointed out in "Children: The Challenge": "Whenever we order or force children to do things, it will lead to a power struggle."
In addition to the play Su Qing, I believe that in real life, many mothers have the same problem.
’s control over the child requires him to absolutely obey him, but in fact, the seeds of autonomy have already sprouted in the child’s heart, and he has already had his own thoughts and consciousness.
A mother who is too strong may cause her child to have no ability to think independently, and ultimately raise a child who has no independent opinions and is submissive. It may also be that your repressed personality will suddenly break out one day in the future and you may become rebellious.
As parents, we all hope that our children will have a smooth journey and a smooth future. But under this premise, you are not required to make decisions for your children, but to cultivate your children's individual uniqueness, understand their hearts, and treat them with respect and equality.
02
Mother with low self-esteem: He Xiaohan
He Xiaohan was originally a nurse, but later married a doctor husband and became a full-time mother. Because she was born in a rural area and had low education, she was not favored by her mother-in-law.
After marriage, He Xiaohan gave birth to a daughter, and three generations lived in the same house. Because sons were favored over daughters, her mother-in-law found trouble everywhere and kept scolding her.
My daughter Youyou asked her mother some English words, but she couldn't answer. Her mother-in-law took advantage of this and humiliated her, so she bought elementary school textbooks for her to study. At the picnic organized by the school, because she does not know English, her daughter would rather stay next to her father who is always playing with his mobile phone than get close to her mother.
Faced with her mother-in-law's constant provocations and humiliations, He Xiaohan has always swallowed her anger. She is afraid of conflict and just wants to keep things quiet, and does not dare to defend herself. At the same time, she is afraid of losing her current life and worries that she will not be able to protect her children. Her humbleness comes from her of inferiority.
The frustration of family life and the anxiety of a blank career plunged her into an abyss of pain, and she even developed a tendency to depression..
Psychologist Hong Lan said: "Mother is the soul of the family. If the mother is happy, the whole family is happy. If the mother is anxious, the whole family is anxious."
And the mother's emotions will directly affect the children.If the mother has low self-esteem and negative energy, the child will also become sensitive and aggressive; on the contrary, if the mother is positive, optimistic, positive and confident, the child will also be sunny and free.
Being a stay-at-home mom is great because there is no job that is available all year round and is not paid. Instead of being discriminated against and prejudiced, mothers should affirm their own value.
03
Poor-hearted mother: Qin Wei
The powerful Su Qing and the humble He Xiaohan are not bad financially, and they can still cope with the thousands of yuan in kindergarten fees.
Qin Wei, on the other hand, does not have enough financial strength, but has a strong vanity and deliberately pretends to be a rich person.
I was afraid that others would know that I was going to take the bus home with my daughter, but I lied about waiting for the bus, like a thief.
saw her husband buying cherries and scolded him for spending money.
even borrowed high-interest loans in order to raise money to buy a house in an expensive school district, putting the family into financial crisis.
Love to take advantage, vanity, and extreme desire for money made Qin Wei lose herself and also affected her children. Daughter Yueyue also started to imitate her mother and start a live broadcast to sell clothes.
Mother is the mirror, and the child is himself in the mirror. The child's character and behavior depend on the mother.
A poor-hearted mother cannot raise a child with a rich heart; only correct values can lead her children to a broader world.
04
Holding mother: Zhou Nannan
Zhou Nannan is a single mother. After breaking up with her boyfriend, she gave birth to her son alone. She became both a father and a mother. Although the family was not complete, she tried her best to give her child the best.
She is a bank employee who fights in the workplace during the day. No matter what, she is the most gentle and in the best mood when facing her children.
This scene in the play is particularly profound. Her son was questioned about stealing a pencil. The first thing she did not lose her temper and beat or scold the child was to learn about the situation from the child. After confirming that the child did not do this, she firmly supported her son and protected him. .
Among the mothers in the play, I think Zhou Nannan is the best parent. Her acceptance and support keep her children bathed in the warm sunshine.
A holding mother knows right from wrong, gives her children confidence, support and affirmation, and delivers positive energy and correct values.
05
I read a sentence in a book before: "A good mother is worth a hundred teachers."
I hope every mother can find her own value, abandon her inferiority complex, stand firmly behind her children, and respect her children. personality, listen to the child’s voice, be the child’s most trustworthy friend, and be the child’s strong spiritual support.
I am Qiu Muyao. I welcome your messages and private messages. I would like to be your most loyal listener.
