In the documentary "Kindergarten", a group of innocent children show their truest side: isolation, rejection, crying and quarreling. From this film, we can find that the world of children is not so simple and beautiful. Their "stories" and "accidents" are more direct. "Bullying"

In the documentary "Kindergarten", a group of innocent children show their truest side: isolation, rejection, crying and quarreling.

From this film, we can find that the world of children is not so simple and beautiful. Their "stories" and "accidents" are more direct. "Bullying" and "being bullied" are the daily lives of many children.

Child social psychologist Michael Thompson also believes that children as young as 2 and a half years old can already use their physical advantages to scare children younger than themselves, and when children are about 4 years old, they will form alliances to find children who are weak. , mocking him as a "crybaby" and "bedwetter".

Therefore, in kindergartens and campuses, where we cannot take care of our children at all times, school bullying incidents may occur at any time. How to deal with school bullying and prevent children from being bullied is a compulsory skill that every parent should master class.

When a child is bullied, "third-rate" parents will say it's okay.

When educating their children, many parents will emphasize being polite to others and not causing trouble. Even if the child suffers a loss or is bullied outside, when the other party apologizes, they will immediately answer "It's okay" for the child. ".

As everyone knows, the parent-child relationship is pushed further and further away by the repeated "it doesn't matter". The children also lose their sense of boundaries in interpersonal communication and become weak, timid, and even... Develop a pleasing personality.

My best friend Xiaoli is an honest person. Once, her child had a conflict with a child in the kindergarten. After being pushed a few times, he told her his grievances when he came home from school.

As a result, Xiaoli just calmly said "It's okay" and comforted the child by saying, "It's normal for children to have conflicts. Don't take it to heart. You should get along well with your friends in the future."

As you can imagine, the little guy was not satisfied with this way of handling it. Later, the child was bullied many times. He was timid and did not dare to fight back. It was not until one day that he cried and refused to go to school that Xiaoli discovered what happened to his child. school bullying.

In fact, when children are bullied, if parents blindly teach their children to forgive without principles, it is easy to lose the children's trust. Even if they encounter the same problem again, the children will not tell their parents, which will inevitably cause psychological trauma over time. , leaving a shadow.

If a child is bullied, the "second-rate" parents will teach and beat them back.

When teaching their children, many parents will say, "We don't cause trouble, but we are not afraid of trouble if we are really provoked."

So when a child is bullied, he will be taught to hit him back hard. Once the child expresses resistance or disgust, the parents will scold him, thinking that their child is too "cowardly" and somewhat "hate iron but cannot make steel."

However, when faced with conflict, should we really teach our children to fight back?

Psychologists have conducted experiments specifically. They tracked and recorded 2583 times how children dealt with friction, and summarized the different reactions and consequences of children when faced with bullying. The results of

show that when being bullied, up to 80% of children will shrink back and cry without resisting, and then they will be bullied again and again. 20% of children will fight back when bullied, and almost no If you are bullied again and fail to fight back, you will be bullied more seriously and more frequently.

In fact, the reason why many children are bullied is precisely because they have the potential to be "easily bullied". Some children are naturally gentle and cannot fight back. Parents who blindly ask to "fight violence with violence" will only give They cause great psychological stress.

There are also some children who are used to "fighting back" and are particularly sensitive to conflicts. When interacting with others, they are also used to using violence to solve problems, which in turn causes more serious problems.

"First-class" parents should teach their children to protect themselves

CCTV host Wang Xiaoqian once shared the experience of his daughter being bitten "early" in kindergarten. Her approach is of great reference.

It was lunch break at that time, and the children were all taking a nap. They were bitten by their classmates early, but they did not cry or tell the teacher.

Because she thought that the other party was playing with her and his crying would wake up the children, so she told the teacher that he was complaining.

After hearing his daughter's thoughts, Wang Xiaoqian felt sorry for her experience and lamented her kindness. He said softly: If you encounter a similar situation again, you should push her away as soon as possible and tell the teacher immediately.

As a mother, Wang Xiaoqian did not teach her daughter to "fight violence with violence" or ignore the harm her daughter suffered, but taught her how to protect herself.

Indeed, when a child is bullied, the most important thing is not how to fight back, but how to reasonably protect one's own safety.

In the process of educating children, we should consciously improve children's awareness of self-protection. For example, tell children that when they are bullied, they must express their resistance as soon as possible. Everything is based on protecting themselves. If the other party keeps pestering, , you can also find the right time to escape and seek help from teachers and parents immediately.

The crooked mother’s conclusion:

Tsai Kang-yong once said: “We believe that fighting back is necessary, but compared with the power of fighting back, we must pass on to children the wisdom of fighting back.”

When children are bullied, we should not speak for our children. "It doesn't matter" and teach him to "fight back". It is better to let the children learn how to protect themselves. Prevention is always more important than remedy.

Today’s topic: If your child is bullied, how will you deal with it?

I am @妋马, and I have a cute baby at home. I focus on knowledge research on pregnancy and parenting. For more interesting content, please follow me.