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People will encounter countless large and small setbacks in their life, and some setbacks may make you change Better, some setbacks may make you doubt yourself and want to give up yourself.
Dabao and Xiaobao are 6-year-old twins. On this day, my mother called them in front of them and said, "Dabao, Xiaobao, will my mother take you to the ski resort today?" Dabao Xiaobao agreed with excitement. They had never been to a ski resort, thinking that going to a ski resort was like going to a playground.
After Dabao Xiaobao went to the ski resort, his mother gave them to their ski instructors and said to them: "Dabao Xiaobao, will the coach teach you skiing, OK?" Dabao Xiaobao hesitated I agreed in a while. In the beginning, when the coach taught them, their performance was more exciting.
But after they learned for nearly two hours, the coach said: "Dabao Xiaobao, we have been learning for so long, so let’s test how you’ve learned. OK?" Dabao and Xiaobao agreed confidently, but during the test, both Dabao and Xiaobao fell.
At this moment, Dabao clamored: "Never learn to ski anymore. I can't learn it at all. Skiing is not fun at all." But this time Xiaobao’s reaction was different from Dabao’s. Xiaobao pulled the coach and said: "Coach, can I try again." Although
is twins, Dabao and Xiaobao’s reaction to setbacks It is very different. Dabao’s reaction is a response of a fixed mentality. When he encounters a setback, he begins to be afraid of the setback and starts to doubt himself, feeling that he can’t do it at all; while Xiaobao’s reaction is a response of a growth mentality. In his opinion, it doesn't matter if he fails this time, he can try again.
01. What are the reasons why children are afraid of frustration?
✔ Congenital factors.
One of the parents has an introvert personality, and the child inherits certain characteristics of their personality, which makes the child inherently afraid of frustration than others.
✔ Growth environment factors.
According to research findings, if a child has little contact with people since childhood and grows up in a relatively closed environment, then when he comes into contact with the outside world, he will be very uncomfortable and will easily cause him to be too inferior and afraid Frustration, fear of the consequences of failure.
✔ Educational factors.
The way of educating children is very important. If parents blame, complain, or even beat and scold their children for their failures, it is easy to cause children to be afraid of frustration, because in their hearts they will feel that their parents will treat them if they fail. Make accusations.
✔ Parents are overprotected.
Many parents think that children are their babies, and they are not willing to let their children suffer any setbacks. They want to give their children the best, and they never refuse any request from their children, over-indulging and over-protecting their children. . The consequence of this continued is that when children do not have the protection of their parents, they cannot adapt at all, and are therefore afraid of facing the setbacks that come.
Of course, in addition to the above factors, there are other factors, such as too many setbacks faced by children, or the setbacks faced by them are not within their capacity, etc., which will cause them to fear setbacks Psychology.
02. What is psychological resilience?
When a child is afraid of facing setbacks, parents should exercise the child’s psychological resilience and let him form a growth mentality.
So, what is psychological resilience? To explain it in a more popular way, resilience means that when a person encounters a setback, he can face it with a healthy and good mentality, and can overcome it with his own ability.
When the child has a strong psychological resilience, he will be healthier than before. When facing setbacks or failures, there will be no fear, and will not be so overwhelmed. Even more will not be self-doubt because of one or two failures. They can often achieve "resurrection in place" and challenge again!
03. What methods should parents use to help their children exercise their mental resilience?
☆ Give children a chance to fail and let them learn to overcome obstacles by themselves!
【Suggestion】
Children of different ages can give different failure experiences.
The specific operation suggestions are as follows:
（1) In the face of 1-2 year old children , parents can buy some more difficult toys for their children, such as puzzles, building blocks, etc., When the child cannot complete the jigsaw puzzle or the building of building blocks, parents can encourage and remind the child, but do not directly help the child complete it.
In addition, parents can also appropriately reject some of the children's requirements, or ask them to complete a certain task before agreeing. If they cannot be completed, they must not agree, so that the child can understand that not everything can be easily Properly, not everything will go as you wish.
（2) In the face of 3-5 year old children , parents can take their children to do more challenging activities, such as skiing, boating, climbing nets, swimming, summer camps, etc. On the one hand, activities can allow children to experience failure, because these are not easy to complete or learn. On the other hand, they can exercise children's willpower and the ability to communicate with others.
(3) In the face of children over 6 years old , parents can let their children participate in some training courses that interest them, and in the training courses, let the children learn to compete virtuously with others. It is impossible to beat others in the competition all the time. When the competition fails, let the children learn how to face it correctly.
☆Parents should play an encouraging role in the growth of their children.
Children are our treasures and our hearts, but we can protect them for a while, but we can’t protect them for the rest of their lives. They have to grow up. You are willing to let them know what to do after losing your protection Measures or are willing to let them face all difficulties calmly and grow up in them?
I think the answer to this question is the same, I hope they can face failures and setbacks on their own, then parents need to cultivate their ability to face setbacks from an early age, so that they have psychological resilience. For this reason, parents need to always play the role of encouragement. Every time they fail, don't blame them or blame them. On the contrary, parents should encourage them and make them believe that they can succeed next time.
☆Parents should give their children a good growth environment.
A good growth environment does not require parents to be rich, nor does it require that children must be given a good family environment, but an environment where children can experience happiness and a sense of security. In this environment, children will not close themselves, will not be excessively inferior, and will not be afraid of failure and setbacks.
Today’s topic: Is your child afraid of frustration? What is your reaction when your child faces setbacks? What can you do to make children better face setbacks? Welcome everyone to leave a message and discuss.
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I am Wenzhu’s mother. I have two treasures in my family. Dabao is 5 years old and Xiaobao is 3 years old. The hardship of bringing two babies by one person made me know how to take care of the baby.
Wenzhu’s mother focuses on sharing parenting knowledge, helping parents and mothers to solve problems. Welcome everyone to share with me the little problems in the process of parenting.
