The child’s father seems to be in a "crazy state", constantly starting to assemble toys for the child with building blocks: excavators, pterosaurs, tanks, tops....
but before this, our children’s items at home Enough is enough. Wait for me to list the things that belong to children in our small 90-square-meter house, including electronic piano, table tennis, tennis, badminton, 2 children's bicycles, 3 scooters, Lego building blocks There are countless toys, even a microscope.
In addition, there are many scattered small toys assembled in a big box.
This is not over yet, there are animals and plants Living creatures: 2 parrots, 3 frogs, 2 tortoises, and 2 goldfishes. There are several dishes of flowers and plants. It is no exaggeration to say that these things are just placed in one-third of the entire house and the entire balcony...
The problem is that the father of the child bought many things for the child in name. But after the purchase, the child doesn’t like to play, or even knows how to play, but the father of the child is happy to play there. I said that I didn’t have the chance to play when I was young. Many times I just greeted my children to play, but the children were not interested. It's very common. But when I contacted the topic of "Childhood Retaliation Compensation Consumption" that I had read on the Internet, I suddenly got my head, is it possible that the child's father also fell into such a vicious circle?
ago For a while, someone has launched the topic of "retaliatory compensation for childhood after growing up" on the Internet, which has attracted more than 84 million people's attention and reading.Many people say that they have had “childhood retaliatory compensatory consumption” behaviors as adults. The objects involved in these retaliatory consumption behaviors are mainly toys, snacks, and some items that they could not ask for when they were young, such as a pair of sneakers. , A CD, a sticker, etc.
For example, my child's father said frankly that the reason why he bought so many complicated old-school or adult-version Lego toys, and even thousands of pieces of assembled fragments, he himself really likes to play. The 4-year-old daughter doesn't know how to assemble or play at all. After buying
, Dad Bao started the night battle alone and assembled thousands of pieces one by one. The next day he happily guided his daughter to play, but her daughter was not very interested in this.
These large parts, if it were not for the child's father to occasionally "fiddle with", within a few days, they would not be able to escape the fate of being left in the corner. It can be seen that "childhood retaliatory consumption", in fact, many times adults are paying for "overcompensating childhood psychology".
"Childhood retaliatory compensatory consumption" not only wastes money, but also buys back some unnecessary things, and even sets a very bad example for children. Unnecessary things are bought back and put on hold for a long time. In the past, it is very possible for children to develop the bad habit of unrestrained consumption.
Obviously, in order to reduce the burden on the family and reduce the negative impact of bad consumption habits on children, as parents, we need to be vigilant and reduce "childhood retaliatory compensation consumption."
Distinguish whether it is the children’s needs or their own needs
As parents of children, we are particularly prone to unconsciously borrowing the name of the children’s needs to buy some necessary or non-essential items. Reduce guilt.
For example, I said at the beginning of my family treasure dad, whenever I bought too much something that my child didn’t really need,He always insisted that it was a child's need, but it turns out that he bought a lot of toys to satisfy his curiosity and desire for exploration first.
So, when we talk about helping children buy things, we need to rationally distinguish between the real needs of the children or the suppressed needs of the parents themselves during their childhood?
When we see something that we want to buy for our child, we must first ask if the child likes or needs it, and is it necessary to buy these things?
Rather than don't care about three, seven or twenty, you have to be preconceived. First, according to your own judgment, you think the child likes something, and then you can buy it directly for the child. In this way, it is possible to avoid the consumption of retaliatory compensation caused by the over-compensation psychology.
By doing this, it won’t be counterproductive. The children don’t like the things we buy. We either put them on the shelf or give them away, and the money is spent in vain.
Guide children to shop wisely
Compared to us "post-80s and 90s parents" who need to endure scarcity from time to time, our children have relatively good material conditions, and they need things too. It is easy to be satisfied.
How often do parents buy toys for their children? Unexpectedly, according to relevant statistics, 34.21% of parents said that their children would like to buy it, and 30.99% of parents said they would buy it every 30 days. Fewer parents would buy it every six months to a year. Generally speaking, they would buy it frequently.
Many children in families have a lot of belongings and toys of their own. For example, in a variety show before, the star , Huo Siyan, son of , , huh , all the toys at home are in a basket. Because there were so many toys, Huo Siyan even encouraged her son to donate toys that she didn't like too much.
Even children in ordinary families now have everything they need at home. For example, the parents of my only son next door, my mother is a housewife, and my father is an ordinary worker, but the children’s toys are packed in boxes by boxes.
The child's mother does not set any rules for the child. They usually try to satisfy what the child wants, and even create conditions to satisfy it.
In fact, blindly satisfying children unconditionally is not necessarily a good thing. Professor Li Meijin once suggested that parents should properly train their children’s ability to delay gratification, pay attention to shaping their children’s good character, so that their children have a stronger ability to resist temptation, and Stronger frustration resistance.
So, when your child wants you to buy things for him, don't just buy everything for him without choosing, but gradually guide him to make choices and make choices. In following the principle of safety and respecting the children's wishes, try to choose a variety of play methods to help develop children's intelligence objects or toys. In this way, parents can also reduce their chances of being coerced.
Rational view of the "missing" of one's childhood
There is a saying that a happy childhood can be cured for a lifetime, and an unfortunate childhood can be cured by a lifetime.
Many of our current generation of parents are born in the 1980s and 1990s. When they were young, their parents’ homes were not very good, and the material conditions at that time were not so abundant. Parents were reluctant to buy many things for themselves. There was too much demand. I have not been satisfied. Over time, there will be a strong "sense of scarcity" in my heart, and even become our lifelong desire. Therefore, when we become adults, we have the ability and want to buy ourselves to satisfy ourselves.
Of course, if the number and frequency are reasonable, within the acceptable range of your family,There is nothing wrong with it.
But as an adult, we must also rationally analyze our own needs, rationally view our childhood "missing", and rationally analyze whether it is necessary to spend extra money to satisfy our distant childhood desires.
For this, there is a good way to do this, when you see something that you wanted to buy when you were young, don’t buy it right away. You might as well put it aside for a while, calm down, and take the money to buy things you need more. After a period of time, I will look at it again. After a few more readings, I might not want to buy it. This will help effectively reduce the "childhood retaliatory consumption."
Of course, in everyone’s heart lives a child who "used". Everything in the world cannot be perfect. The same is true of our childhood. But fortunately, we also have the rational brain of adults. In the process of accompany the children to grow up, keep reflecting and improving themselves, and become a better self and a better parent in the future.
I am
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