Children's inadvertent pranks and slight words and deeds will make you irritable and will give you a severe blow....
However, because it is a human being, it is natural to feel angry. However, in order not to be swayed by angry emotions, please control your emotions
Obviously, he is a cute child, but he is agitated every day, and even gets angry with the child and hates himself. I know it's not good to be emotional, but I still get angry strongly.
I really want to keep smiling, but how can I get rid of this vicious circle... Have you ever had such self-blame and trouble?
"Anger" is a natural emotion. It is because of hard work that makes me angry, and because of anticipation, I feel anxious. There are many things that one cannot afford to struggle alone when trying to raise children.
Moreover, whether you blame yourself or complain about your child or husband (wife), your situation will not change easily. Perhaps there is nothing more unsatisfactory than raising a child.
So, how to eliminate this anxiety? Therefore, do not deny the angry self, but accept yourself, face the nature of anger, and find a way to get along with anger. Because you can't eliminate anger, you can only get along well.
As long as you don't get angry impulsively, you can find the right answer to raise your child. First of all, relax by learning the nature of anger and how to control emotions, and find your smile again.
Why is angry
"Anger" is generated when one's ideals and beliefs are betrayed. When raising children, the ideal and educational policy of "children should be like this", or the position and prestige of "parents should be like this" cannot be maintained.
"Should" is an ideal and an important value. However, if you avoid reality and cling to "should", you will feel that the other party is not good and your anger will increase.
try to think about what "should" you get angry with,It will be an opportunity to re-examine whether you want your child to do unreasonable things, and whether to impose your ideals on your child. Anger is influenced by one's own mental state.
In addition, children sometimes laugh and say "so naive" when making pranks, and sometimes they say "just enough!" There are also days when you want to be angry.
When you are busy or when you are in poor health, you will be more angry at your child's failures and evil deeds.
This is because my inner state has become the fuel of anger. If you use a lighter as an analogy, the fuel is your own negative state of mind, and the “should” is the flint .
When negative emotions are overwhelming, if a child's behavior goes against his "should", he cannot calmly pay attention to it, and will turn into a huge flame of anger.
You can do it right away! Ways to control anger
When irritable, in order to prevent anger from turning into raging flames, please try the following 5 methods.
(1) Punishment—preventing conditioned reflex actions
This is a control method that must be done when angry and impulsive. Try to be patient, don't take any words or deeds, and focus on one point.
Anything, such as the cup in front of you, your own nails, etc. can be used, as long as you focus your perspective there, you can prevent anger from possessing.
What you cannot do when you are angry is to react immediately if you are angry. Let's do it after calming down a little bit.
(2) Breathing relaxation ~ consciously relaxing strength
This is the so-called deep breathing, my most common method. The point is to concentrate and exhale slowly for twice as long as the inhalation time. It is said that breathing has a relaxing effect when exhaling.
In modern society, although you sometimes use force, you seldom relax. Therefore, you can use it not only when you are angry, but also before going to bed and work, and you can expect the effect of relieving stress.
(3) Mindfulness-examining your own emotions
makes the brain blank,Accept your emotions. When they are angry, most people don't realize their true feelings.
is easily attracted by the strong emotion of anger, and ignores whether it is worry or sadness. Calmly accept the feelings that arise in your heart, without criticizing or analyzing, just "I feel this way."
Then, let go of regrets about the past and anxiety about the future, and practice focusing on the "now."
(4) Should record ~ understand the "should" in your heart
This is a longer-term method than the three methods mentioned above. Thinking about the reason why I am angry now is because of what kind of "should" I have.
For example, "I should do my own things", or "I should obey my parents", or "I shouldn't trouble my parents".......
If you understand your inner "should", you can re-examine whether the reason for anger is unreasonable, and what you want to convey to your child will become clear.
(5) happylog ~Focus on the good places
A way to become less irritable through daily efforts. Keep your eyes on the good things every day and write them down in your notebook, even the trivial things.
one a day is fine. Focusing on happy things and good things can not only make everyday life happier, but also pay attention to the advantages of the child. "If you don't say it, don't do it!" Therefore, "it will be done once today!" Such views and language will also change.
You change, the child will also change
"Angry way" and "emotional expression" will be transferred to the child. What kind of attitude parents adopt when they are angry will have a great impact on their children. Although there will not be a big change immediately, because each other is a person who misses each other, this change will definitely be communicated to each other.
Once the parents’ attitude changes,The child's reaction will change accordingly. If there is a good reaction, each other's mood will be better. Please enjoy this little chain reaction and build a good relationship.
is by no means too late. Please spend the rest of the time with a smile. I support you!
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