There is no need to be strongly integrated with the three views.
I believe that no one wants to be with someone with different values.
The other party does not agree with every word you say; the decisions you make are wrong in the eyes of others; your grades are never favored, and you can always find a lot of faults.
When you meet someone who sings the opposite tune, it is very uncomfortable, but you have to restrain yourself and see the truth clearly.
Everyone thinks and observes from their own perspective, and "others" are the opposite. This is an objective fact.
This shows that habitually sing the opposite tune and always thinks that you are right is a person's greatest stupidity and take yourself too seriously.
01
Sing the opposite of ordinary people, and their interpersonal relationships will become worse and worse.
Generally speaking, the person who can be "sing the opposite" by you is someone who is closer to you. Relatives, friends, family, colleagues, classmates, etc. Strangers won't give you the chance to sing the opposite tune at all.
If you are online and play a different tune with netizens on the model, the other party will just delete and block you. Notifying you in advance is unnecessary.
When I was in college, a male classmate fell in love with a female classmate.
On Valentine's Day, the male classmate secretly put a rose in the female classmate's backpack.
In the afternoon, the female classmate picked up the rose and went to the teacher's office, saying, "I don't know who it is. I put the rose in my desk, obviously I want to frame me for 'stealing flowers'." After the incident of
was exposed, the male classmate was in a slump and the female classmate was proud.
Kazuo Inamori said: "The culprit that makes people go astray is not necessarily failure and setbacks, but often success and praise."
When a person takes "success and praise" into himself, he will find that he has gone astray and cannot be lost.
is like my female classmate, she lost a fate but didn't realize it. Even if she doesn't accept the admiration of her male classmates, just refuse directly, and don't deal with it in a special way.
Usually, the language is more common.
Several friends are chatting. A said, "A cigarette after a meal is free and easy like a god."
B said, "My third uncle has been smoking and drinking for many years. He passed away in his forties and has long become a god."
relatives chatted together and recommended a young man to his cousin Xiaohua.
The cousin said, "I recognize that young man, I don't have much money, but it's fancy..."
put forward different opinions, which is not surprising, but with a sarcastic tone, it's strange to deny other people's opinions.
Thinking that you are right and others are wrong will keep others from thousands of miles away invisibly. The relationships are definitely not very good.
02
sing the opposite tune with the master, and they are often crushed by the other party.
The ancients said: "The dragon has reverse scales."
Anyone who is more powerful than himself can be regarded as a "dragon". If you don't recognize the overall situation, you will definitely suffer a loss.
Zeng Guofan’s sixth brother Zeng Guohua, with his soldiers, as arranged, he went to Anqing to resist the Taiping Army. Halfway through, he left a small distance and attacked Luzhou.
When he went to Luzhou, he was beaten to pieces by the Taiping Army. Although he himself escaped the disaster, he never showed up again. According to historical records, he was killed. According to unofficial history, he became a monk. No matter what, the ending of life is very sad anyway.
When Emperor Xuanzong of Tang , the examiner Wei Fu was very serious about the test papers, which led to many students not being able to pass the Jinshi exam. So, a student modified his poem: "I worked hard in the past, but today I am disappointed." This is used to mock Wei Fu.
Wei Fu's reputation has become worse, and the students have not gained any benefits, which is both sides suffer. There are more examples of
sing against the emperor, which lead to losing officials.
You must understand that the senior official level will kill people; people are under the eaves, and they have to bow their heads.
When you are used to sing the opposite tune, you will not separate occasions and directly express your thoughts, wanting to suppress the other party's arrogance and deny the other party's decision.
When you meet an expert, the first is obedience, the second is tactfulness, and the third is silence. If you can't do anything well, even if you have achievements and do things right, it will be difficult to get attention.
Just imagine, no one likes to put "a thorn" next to them.
03
Before singing the opposite tune, just ask yourself three questions and it's fine. How to avoid singing opposites? Propose your own point of view reasonably? I suggest you give yourself three questions. If you figure it out, it will not be too late to speak again.
First, what are the consequences of singing the opposite tune? Before
, I thought about how to take responsibility after speaking and what impact it will have.
is restricted, has a frustration, is embarrassed, is accepted... When you think about the consequences clearly, you often don't want to say anything. Or you will adjust your attitude immediately and speak more smoothly.
is "evidence", not as simple as joking. When you speak and hurt others, you must bear the "healing costs".
Second, is it necessary to sing the opposite tune?
Is it necessary to hurt others? Why bother with other people’s affairs? Everyone is an independent individual. Without economic interactions, there is no need for verbal disputes.
You talked endlessly for a long time, but no one liked it. I'm also bored.
Third, what exactly did the other party think?
People who are good at establishing good relationships should try to empathize themselves. Think from the opposite side, you will find your ugliness and see the kindness of others.
There is a female teacher who goes to the mountain to teach. At the market, she met an old lady selling eggs. She thought that it would be okay to buy the old lady's eggs at a price of 50 cents for the price of hexagons.
The old lady happily agreed.
One day, the female teacher heard the old lady chatting with the vendor. The vendor said, "I want it all."
The old lady said : "No, you must leave ten. It's hard to find a teacher in the mountains. I can't treat her badly just because I make one more cent."
Whether it's a teacher or an old lady, they all think from the other person's perspective and put their heart in mind, so they are moved by each other.
Understanding others is the most rare emotional intelligence. Do not do things in small ways.
ask yourself back, you can give yourself some time to be silent, so that you can adjust your language and tone in time.
04
From the perspective of oneself, everyone is a spiritual egoist. As the saying goes, if a man does not care for himself, he will be punished by heaven and earth.
So we must learn to be generous, at least we should let others go in terms of words.
When you affirm yourself, don’t deny others.
The road is facing the sky, and you go one side, why do you keep pulling with others?
One plus one equals three, which is wrong, but you should treat it as a joke and don’t tell the correct answer.
Author: Common people eat coarse food.
Follow my text and enter your heart.
The pictures in the article are from the Internet.
