Wenxi and I are college classmates, and there are only a handful of opportunities to meet after graduation. We haven't seen each other for about five years since we last saw each other.
happened to be on a business trip to her city, and I asked her to have dinner with her.
In just 2 hours, Wen Xi answered no less than five phone calls.
After hanging up the fifth phone call, Wenxi said to me apologetically: "They are all calls from my mother. I'm sorry, I can't stay with you for too long today. I have to go back at 8:30."
"You What happened at home?”
"No", Wen Xi sighed: "Everything is fine, it's just that my mother can't live without me."
recalled the appearance of Wen Xi's mother she had seen in college: delicate and talkative. She talks softly, always has a smile on her face, and always holds Wenxi's hand when walking.
"Let's meet again tomorrow. I also have a lot of worries that I want to talk to someone about." Before leaving, Wen Xi made an appointment with me.
The next day, we met as scheduled, and I listened to her tell a story throughout the afternoon.
1.
As the saying goes, only children are carefree. I don’t think so, adults can be carefree, just like my mother.
My mother is a child who will not grow up.
From the time I can remember, until I went to elementary school, she stayed with me all day long, playing games and toys, and never tired of it. She was even more interested than me at times, laughed louder than me, and was in an extremely good mood every day.
She is indeed carefree.
Grandpa and grandma have three children. The first two are sons, but the mother is a daughter. It is conceivable that my mother is so treasured at home that it is impossible to overstate the stars.
In such a family environment, my mother has never suffered any injustice. Even if they were bullied at school, the three brothers would always go to each other to settle accounts and vent their anger on their sister.
Grandpa and grandma are even worse. She was not allowed to get her hands dirty with housework. Until she went to college, her mother didn't even wash her own underwear.
When she was studying in college in other places, her grandparents were afraid that she would not be well fed or clothed and would be bullied, so they rented a house near the school to accompany her while she studied.
As soon as she graduated, my grandfather took my mother home. He felt that she had suffered a lot during the years of studying abroad, and he refused to let her find a job, so he raised her at home.
The attitude of the uncles was exactly the same as that of my grandfather. They took my mother home, provided her with delicious food and drinks, and took turns taking her out to play on weekends.
Under the pampering of her family, her mother was inexperienced in worldly affairs and the ways of the world. She was still an innocent and ignorant child in her 20s.
She didn't dare to go out alone because she would get lost; she didn't know how to deal with others, and she didn't know what to say and what not to say.
Only by clinging to her grandparents or uncles can she feel absolutely safe; if she is away from them for a moment, she will feel uneasy.
2.
My mother is unconventional and has a smile on her face all day long. In addition, my grandparents’ family is in good condition, so naturally it attracts many young men.
Dad is one of them.
He is a colleague from my grandfather’s workplace.
When I went to my grandpa's house to deliver materials, I accidentally saw my mother. From then on, I couldn't help myself and launched a fierce offensive.
My grandpa admired my dad very much. He was young and promising, had no bad habits, and was good-looking. So with the help of my grandpa and grandma, my mom and dad got married.
Later, my father once told me that when it came to marrying my mother, my grandfather only made one request to him, that is, he should not let his mother be wronged, but he should pamper her and take good care of her.
My father also knows that my mother is a young lady who has no love for her, and he is already smitten with her. As long as he can marry her, pamper her, pamper her, and raise her, what's wrong with her?
Just like that, at the age of 25, the person my mother relied on changed from her grandparents to her father.
As usual, my mother doesn’t have a job, but she doesn’t know how to do housework, so she spends her time at home reading and writing.
Dad not only has to work, he also has to cook for his mother when he comes back from work. After that, there is still a lot of land waiting for him to mop, and a pile of clothes waiting for him to wash.
In the first year or two, he was still enjoying it, but as time went by, it became too much and he even thought about divorce.
But at this time, my mother was pregnant. My father thought that maybe the birth of the child would make her change sometimes, but he persisted and endured it.
After I was born, my mother did change a lot. At least she did all the feeding and preparing milk herself. As for bathing me and washing my clothes, it still became my father's job.
Dad was tired and angry, and his voice raised unconsciously. Mom didn't talk back or speak, she just hugged me and shed tears silently, which made Dad feel that he was in the wrong.
When my father was on a business trip, my mother couldn't handle it, so she took me back to my parents' home.
When her grandparents saw her, they felt heartbroken and felt that her mother was too tired.
I have grown up gradually, but my mother still has not grown up.
At that time, I thought it was pretty good. Other people’s mothers were mothers, and my mother was like a sister. We talked about everything and there was no barrier. She would not scold me because I did something wrong.
3.
When I was in elementary school, my mother was still an innocent girl, but my father was obviously a lot older, but my mother's dependence on him was increasing day by day.
When my father was on a business trip, my mother would either stay at home quietly or go back to her parents' home; but since she had me, my mother seems to be afraid of losing me, and she will make countless phone calls to my father a day. It was always trivial things: there was no paper in the bathroom, the dog next door barked at my door all afternoon...
Dad was very annoyed, but he couldn't get angry, so he had to make excuses not to answer the phone.
At this time, I became my mother’s only support: Your father ignores me, what should I do? There is no toilet paper at home, what should I do? What should I do if I can't take care of you?
Over the years, I have also learned about my mother. She didn’t mean it, she just couldn’t take care of herself and didn’t know that she should be independent. She had to be attached to someone at all times!
Because in her mind, she had never thought of relying on herself!
For example, I took her to my school after I was in college and took her through my school many times. But when she walked alone, she still got lost and called me in a panic.
Maybe I am too extreme, I think there is no real blindness. Because I am pampered by others, I can always rely on the people next to me, so I don’t want to remember the way, recognize the way, or find the way!
But she doesn't know how much embarrassment and discomfort such self-confidence will bring to the people next to her!
My dad just proves this.
When I was about to graduate from elementary school, my father’s career entered a bottleneck period. It was not going well and he was very anxious. He often sat in the living room smoking in the middle of the night.
always said that family is a harbor. No matter how difficult it is outside, when you get home and see the light, it can soothe the boredom in your heart.
My family is obviously not.
When dad came home, he could only see an empty stove, a cage full of dirty clothes, and his little wife who was inexperienced in the world.
Dad had a dark face and didn't say a word. Mom was wiping tears at the side: "I'm sorry, I want to do it too, but I don't know how to do anything."
As his career went downhill, Dad's His temper became worse and worse, but my mother became more and more attached to him. Finally, he couldn't bear it anymore. Not long after I entered the first grade of junior high school, my father filed for divorce.
"We can't divorce. What will I do without you?"
But my father had given up: "I have been with you for so many years, and I am tired."
"But at that time, you promised my parents that you would take care of me. Good on me!”
"Didn't I do it? Didn't I take good care of you? After so many years of marriage, have you cooked a meal? Have you washed a piece of clothing? But you can't just rely on others like this! I will be tired too! ”
Even though my grandparents and uncles all came together later, they could not at all save my father’s determination to get a divorce.
At the end of the first semester of junior high school, my father and mother divorced.
Four,
I follow my mother.
But as usual, she can do nothing except cry.
She also tried to cook for me, but only rice was put in the rice cooker; she also tried to cook for me, but she only poured the meat and vegetables into the pot at once; she also tried to wash my clothes, but I don’t even know how to use a washing machine.
I taught her many times, but as soon as I let go, she couldn't do it again.
Even grandma couldn't stand it anymore: "Sister, don't embarrass your mother, she is a pretty girl. You should take more care of yourself."
So before going out every morning, I put the rice into the pot and make an appointment. Okay; on the way home at noon, I took a few vegetables with me, put down my schoolbag, picked vegetables, washed them, and stir-fried them; when I went out to school in the afternoon, I put the rice into the pot, made a reservation in advance, and ate the lunch dishes when I got home in the afternoon.
As for clothes, sometimes they are washed after returning from self-study in the evening, sometimes on weekends.
Seeing me as tired as a dog, my mother couldn't bear it: "It's all my fault that I don't know anything, otherwise you wouldn't be so tired!" "You are really my mother's angel. Fortunately, I still have you, otherwise my mother would be so tired." What should I do! "
can say a thousand things, even though she is extremely ashamed, she just can't learn!
When I was in high school, my studies became more and more stressful, so I sent my mother back to my grandma's house and I went to live on campus so that both of us could relax.
As for our living expenses, my mother still hasn’t gone out to work. All our expenses depend on our father’s support and the monthly subsidies from our grandparents.
Divorce may be the biggest setback that my mother has encountered in her life. For nearly a year, she was very emotionally unstable. Sometimes she would sit there and cry for no reason. Sometimes I would make my voice louder in the kitchen. She scolded her for no reason.
What can I do? I can only endure it, coax her and comfort her like a sister, and wait for her to calm down, then find a place where no one is and cry loudly.
At this time, I deeply understood the difficulty of my father for so many years.
It is no exaggeration to say that before I went to college, I supported this small family with all my strength.
The only thing that gives me some comfort is that my mother has a pure heart, a simple personality, and always maintains a girl-like mentality. Such emotions can sometimes infect me and make me enjoy the hardships.
5.
During the years when I was in college, my mother lived with my grandparents.
After graduating from college, my grandparents were getting older, so they discussed with me whether my mother could live with me.
I have no objection.
When I first started working, I was under a lot of pressure. I was worried that I would not be able to pass the probation period if I did not do well. After all, I still had a mother to support. So I go home very late every day.
Mom doesn’t know how to do housework as usual, so there’s no need to think that she can take care of her three meals a day.
So in addition to breakfast, I ordered takeout for her for lunch and dinner.
She doesn't go around either, she just stays at home.
Because even though I took her to places N times, she still couldn't find her when she was alone, so she simply stayed at home and looked forward to my coming home from morning to night.
When she comes back late, she will also complain: "Why did you come back so late? Don't you know how long I have been waiting for you?"
If I say that I am too busy at work, she will still curl her lips and lose her temper, and if When I bring out a bouquet of flowers or a beautiful little gift, she will immediately turn from anger to joy.
After one or two years of hard work, my work has gradually gotten back on track. I can go home on time more often, and my mother is much happier than in previous years.
As the company develops, we have more business from other places.
Every time I was asked to go on a business trip, I always said no, but later on, I couldn’t say no anymore.
Before my first business trip, my mother cried again: "How long are you going to go out? What should I do if something happens to me at home alone? You can call me every day."
When I came back, she was still crying: "Why did it take you so long? Next time, you can't leave me alone at home like this."
So when I was about to go on a business trip for the second time, she held on to my bag and refused to let me go.
In desperation, I had to take her with me.
Since then, whenever I go on a business trip, my mother will definitely accompany me. When we arrived at our destination, she didn't go anywhere, she just stayed in the hotel and waited for me.
After finishing the work, we went home together.
"Dad can choose to divorce, but I can't choose anything!"
VI,
After Wenxi's story was finished, she let out a long sigh.
In fact, during the more than an hour she was telling this story, I witnessed her mother calling her three times.
I silently calculated an account for her: her mother is only around 60 this year. In terms of the life span of modern people, she may need to take care of her mother like this for 20 years!
In other words, in these 20 years, both work and relationships will be greatly tested!
"Do you have any plans to get married?"
"No", Wen Xi had a wry smile on his face: "In my situation, can I still expect to get married? Wouldn't that drag others into it? And my mother is getting older, right? People are becoming more and more dependent!"
"Your mother, there is no other solution?" I wondered if her mother could go to a nursing home and be with elderly people of the same age, maybe it would be different.
"I thought about it, but it didn't work. At first, I thought about letting her stay with her grandparents, but her grandparents are old and she can't take care of them. It's not appropriate to have them take care of her. Then I thought, how about getting along with her? The uncles live in the same community and take care of each other, but the aunts know my mother's situation and no one wants to get involved. Would you like to ask the Buddha to go back to the nursing home? She has also considered it, but in her case, she doesn't like to interact with strangers, and she doesn't understand anything. She will be bullied when she goes in, so she has no choice but to forget it. "
I suddenly thought. I realized that Wenxi's mother was raised to be so uncontaminated, or did she have some other problems, such as her brain. But this question is too acute, so I really don’t dare to mention it.
Wenxi saw my doubts and smiled: "It has nothing to do with intelligence. I took my mother for a physical examination and said she had normal intelligence."
In this way, there is actually only one reason. That is to rely on others wholeheartedly, use emotions as a net, stay in the center of the net, use the name of love to involve your loved ones, and draw the nutrients for your own survival from them!
7,
When we received the call from the fifth mother, Wenxi and I hurriedly said goodbye and hurried home.
Actually, I feel sorry for Wenxi: when she was in college, her grades were among the best in the class, and the job she found after graduation was also very good. But a few years later, the classmates who had average development continued to study further, changed jobs, and lived better and better, while Wenxi fell behind.
I didn’t expect that there was such sadness behind it!
There is a plant called Cuscuta . It is a climbing and parasitic plant. If there is nothing to rely on, it cannot grow at all.
Isn’t Wenxi’s mother a dodder flower? At first, she was attached to her parents and brother, and after getting married, she was attached to Wenxi's father. When Wenxi's father left, he chose to be parasitic on his daughter!
For a person who is forty or fifty years old, no matter how innocent she is in her heart, if she is proud of her cuteness and innocence from the bottom of her heart and is determined not to be mature and stable and take on the corresponding responsibilities, that is an extremely terrible thing, and it is also Instill fear in those around you.
However, if such a person is a mother, it is indeed a terrible and helpless thing. Just like Wen Xi said: "Dad can choose to leave, but I can only stay where I am!"
