was diagnosed with gastric cancer , I sat outside the hospital with pregnancy test stick and was stunned for a long time.
Mobile phone vibration is my lover for eight years, Jiang Chi.
"Li Li, can I think about getting a marriage certificate?"
"Okay."
"I don't want to marry..."
seemed to have never expected that I would agree so frankly. Jiang Chi was stunned and said that he would not come back to eat tonight, so he hung up the phone in a hurry.
1
1
I have been in love with Jiang Chi for eight years and should get married soon.
We started our business since we graduated, and the company improved last year.
I bought a car, paid the down payment for the new house, and it was almost renovated.
If I don’t get this disease, there may be a soft child sleeping in my arms next year.
Jiang Chi didn't come back to eat, so I cooked vegetable noodles alone, hesitating about how to tell Jiang Chi tonight.
After all, we agreed last year that we will get the certificate at the end of the year.
Doctor is a young sister. She advised me not to have this child and actively cooperate with the treatment. She also said that I am so young, the cure rate should be very high, so don’t be afraid.
I'm not that scared.
Because I have Jiang Chi, he will always be by my side with me.
The doorbell rang, and I was surprised why Jiang Chi rang the doorbell.
door opened, Jiang Chi was a little drunk, and the one who was supporting him was Jiang Lin, a new employee recruited last month, who had just graduated.
"Sister-in-law, I'm having a social engagement with Party A. Mr. Jiang got drunk too much and the car stopped downstairs." Jiang Lin was wearing a beautiful floral suspender skirt, blushed, and put her messy hair together. "I'll bring it to him, I'll just take a taxi back."
Jiang Chi was drunk and fell asleep on the sofa.
I took his suit jacket, which was dyed with a faint orange blossom perfume smell on Jiang Lin.
"Thank you, Jiang Lin." I smiled, "It's too late, I'll drive you back."
Jiang Lin refused, but still couldn't resist me.
"I'm not at ease when you are a girl taking a taxi."
"Sister-in-law, when will you get married?" Jiang Lin asked tentatively on the way.
I was stunned. Thinking of what Jiang Chi said when he called me today, he smiled awkwardly:
"Should the company be stable for another two years."
... Wait until my condition is stable.
"That's it..." Jiang Lin looked out the window thinking, and suddenly lowered her head and smiled sweetly, "I understand."
sent Jiang Lin back, and I parked the car, but remembered that the -dimensional E I bought last time had fallen into the co-pilot's glove box.
I opened the passenger's door, but found a torn packaging bag in the gap in the passenger's seat belt, which was square. The oil in the
packaging bag penetrated into my hands and I was stunned.
I suddenly thought of the suspender skirt that Jiang Lin wore, her slightly red face when she opened the door.
and Jiang Chi had a phone call in the afternoon, and his eyes that drooped my eyes while drunk.
I sat in the passenger seat in a daze.
So many things happened in a day made me not know where to start for a while.
2
Jiang Chi and I fell in love when we were freshman year.
He chased me.
At that time, I worked at the Huainan Beef Soup store at the school gate to earn tuition, and Jiang Chi fell in love with me at first sight.
In order to chase me, Jiang Chi, a serious rich second generation, ate Huainan beef soup for a year.
On the day I agreed to date him, he was injured and vomited out "wow" in the store. Until now, I can't smell the beef soup .
knows that I have strong self-esteem, he accompanied me to eat in the cafeteria, and bought fruits and milk and forced them to me:
"What should I do if my future wife is malnourished?"
knows that I can't smell the smoke, he quit smoking. Once, he became addicted to smoking. He bit the bullet and took out a lollipop under the shocked gaze of a group of friends and took out a lollipop and held it in his mouth, blushing his face to win over himself:
"Bah, what do you know? This is how people with families are."
I actually don't know what Jiang Chi likes me.
He is 1.85 meters tall, handsome and rich second generation.
But Jiang Chi doesn't care. He said that if he likes it, he is fucking likes it.
He is a very stubborn person, he has decided to go to the dark side.
I saw it when I took me back to see my parents on New Year’s Eve.
I was holding the fruit and stood in front of his parents in a hurry.
Jiang Chi's parents treated me politely.
When the servant packed the dining table , his mother coughed lightly, and gave Jiang Chi a wink and asked her to go over and talk to her alone.
The lights in the villa are too dazzling, and they are even more dazzling than the August sun. They illuminate my half-old down jacket and faded jeans.
This is actually my best set of clothes.
I sat on European sofa with my legs, trying to reduce my presence.
The servants' eyes seemed to float to me without any sneering, and there was a faint sneer, shaving my self-esteem like a knife.
I heard his mother shouting hysterically:
"She must know you have money, right?"
"Then she has no father or mother, what can she give you in the future?"
My heart seemed to be stomped on me suddenly, and I couldn't breathe.
My head is getting lower and lower, and I pinched my arm hard and told myself not to cry.
Then the next second is the sound of Jiang Chi slamming the door.
He had a dark face and walked towards me angrily, grabbed my hand with his head down on the sofa:
"Let's go!"
"Jiang Chi, don't recognize me as a mother when you go out!" His fucking voice rang behind his back, "We won't give you a penny!"
Hearing his mother say this, Jiang Chi paused when he went out.
Without waiting for his damn pride, Jiang Chi turned around and grabbed the gift I brought:
"You are not worthy!"
It was New Year's Eve, and there were almost no pedestrians or cars on the road, and even the subway was not operating time.
We can only walk to the hotel.
When passing through the overpass, the wind whistled through my hair.
The quiet city is just the lights of thousands of homes, and the lights in the distance are like a sea of stars.
does not have the one that belongs to me.
I didn't turn around, but just lowered my head and said softly:
"Jiang Chi, let's break up."
He didn't say a word.
"Jiang Chi, we..."
He unbuttoned his down jacket and held me in his arms from behind.
He hugged me tightly in silence, as if he was afraid that I would disappear if I let go.
The atmosphere was stalemate, he buried his head in my neck and hugged him for a long time.
Suddenly he spoke, his voice very light but firm:
"Su Li, I'll give it to your home."
3
When I come back, Jiang Chi was already asleep on the sofa.
I gently covered him with a blanket.
phone lights up, and there are two unread messages.
was sent by Jiang Lin.
"She sent me home, don't worry, Boss Jiang!"
also has a very cute little girl emoticon package, and she said good night with a look of flirtatious eyes.
I don’t think I should have doubted Jiang Chi, but I still couldn’t help but slide up and read the chat history.
"What did Mr. Jiang eat for lunch today? What did she make for you?"
"Yes."
"Yes."
"Really, Mr. Jiang occasionally eats takeaway with us single dogs."
"Tomorrow."
The date was the day before yesterday. I remember the next day, Jiang Chi specifically told me not to get up early to make bento.
I asked why, and he hugged me from behind and kissed me gently on my neck, saying that he was afraid that I would work too hard and gave me a day off.
"Boss Jiang, when will you get married?"
picture shows a little girl wiping her tears.
had a message that he replied in seconds before, but after ten minutes of this sentence, he replied:
"I don't know."
he said he didn't know.
I put down my phone and didn't look up any longer, and there was no need to look again.
has no news about the edge, but Jiang Chi and I also replied to the message in seconds when they were with me, "her" and Jiang Lin said "her" at once. But in that atmosphere, it seems that I am the third party between them.
I put my phone back, got up, put my medical record and pregnancy test stick into the drawer at the bottom of the study, and put it together with our passbook.
It was windy outside. It had just rained a little, and the wind was wrapped in a little tide of hot air and blew into the room.
I closed the door and sat blankly at the desk.
actually said that it was not afraid when he got the result.
At that time, I sat at the entrance of the hospital, looking at the people coming and going, and thought hard for a long time.
I think how can I tell this matter easily and how can I not be so sad?
I want to say to him with a smile.
Jiang Chi, I have good news and bad news, which one do you want to listen to?
He wants to listen to the good news, so I said he wants to be a father.
He wants to listen to bad news, so I said he just lied to him.
Then he will definitely knock my head and then I will tell him about cancer.
He will definitely hug me from behind like he did before, telling me not to be afraid.
I comforted him again, laughed at his nervousness, and told him that I was not afraid at all.
still cry and tell the truth to him.
said I was very scared, I was afraid of pain, and I was afraid of not curing it. Then I became a bald head when I was chemotherapy, so I couldn’t tie my ponytail, and it was not good to wear a skirt.
said that I actually couldn't bear to part with this child. There was a Lego wall in the children's room in our new house. He said that in the future we would have a daughter, he would accompany her to fight for Lego, and then buy her many beautiful skirts.
Then he will definitely say the most common love words, saying that I will always be the best in the world in his heart, and that we will have many children in the future, and that this child is ignorant, we don’t want him.
But before I could think about it, he called.
on the phone said he would get the certificate later.
I agreed without hesitation.
He loves me so much and leaves everything for me. How can I delay him for the rest of his life?
At that time, I even hoped that he would not love me anymore so that he would not be sad.
Maybe at that moment, a god passed by and looked down at the world and heard my wish.
He really doesn't love me as much as he used to be.
I also want to live, but I don’t know if living is more painful than chemotherapy.
4
I blew the wind in the study all night and didn't figure out what to do.
Jiang Chi woke up at seven o'clock. He rubbed temple and pushed open the door of the study.
suit pants and a light blue shirt make him look wide shoulders and narrow waist. I am not a face control, but I am still often stunned by his face.
Seeing me sitting, he was stunned and asked me what was wrong.
I shook my head:
"It's okay, I plan to ask the company for a while for a leave of absence."
Jiang Chi smiled and stretched out his hand, wanting to rub my head:
"It's okay to resign, I can't afford you."
I gently avoided it.
Jiang Chi's hand stopped in the air and took his hand unnaturally:
"Why take a leave?"
"I'm tired recently."
If I want to work for a job, I may have worked for nine years, so I should be tired.
I started working part-time since I was in college. When I first graduated, I still supported Jiang Chi.
At that time, Jiang Chi broke off contact with his family and started a business with his good brother. We are still renting a house outside and live a life of not being able to make ends meet.
In order to save 500 yuan of rent, I took the subway for an extra hour. I had to get up at 5:30 on the eighth morning shift. I worked overtime until nine o'clock. When I got home and washed up, it was already eleven o'clock. I could sleep in seconds as soon as I lay on the bed.
At that time, there was no time and money. At the most exaggerated time, Jiang Chi and I couldn’t say a word for a week.
But he will go home no matter how late he is.
Once he forgot to bring the key. I woke up in the middle of the night and found that he was not by my side. After reading the message from my phone, I opened the door and found that he was already sitting outside the door and asleep.
He was afraid that knocking on the door would clamor me, so he just took a look outside for a while.
When I was the poorest, it was the winter of the first year. The company owed me two months of salary, but I really had no money at the end of the year.
That day, Jiang Chi went to the subway station to pick me up.
We passed the overpass from the subway station, and a new hot pot restaurant was opened under the overpass.
butter hot pot is their signature. There are many people queuing up, and the hot steam is wrapped in the fragrance and it hits people's hearts.
Jiang Chi said that if we have money in the future, we will eat hot pot for the first meal. In their family, we will order slightly spicy butter tomato and tomato shuang pot, and then order ten plates of fat sheep rolls.
"Why are ten plates?"
"Five plates, five plates are rinsed." He said
"Bah, I don't eat hot pot with people who eat shuangguo."
"Why are you still fighting against the red and white pots? I haven't told the people who eat sweet rice dumplings ..."
Jiang Chi was choked by saliva before he finished speaking. He coughed violently, and I hurriedly patted his back.
As we patted, we looked at each other and suddenly we started laughing, laughing so hard that we couldn't stand up, and laughed until the people coming and going were staring at us.
Looking back now, I don’t know what we were laughing at that time, maybe it was just being poor and happy.
Later we had some money, but the hot pot restaurant was closed and we couldn't eat it.
Once memories begin, they are often difficult to hold back.
Thinking of the past, my eyes suddenly turned red.
"Why are you crying?" Jiang Chi suddenly panicked and hurriedly wiped my tears, "Don't cry."
"It's okay, I just don't want to go to work anymore, I'm too tired."
I leaned against him.
"Be good, rest well. If the leader doesn't criticize your fake, we will quit, okay?"
Jiang Chi squatted down and looked at me seriously. The tenderness in his eyes could almost overflow.
Eight years have passed, and the impulsive and reckless rich second generation Jiang Chi has already looked like a mature man.
I know it shouldn't be, but I still can't bear to look at this face.
hesitated for a moment, and I still reached out and pulled his shirt:
"Jiang Chi... can you accompany me today..."
I thought to myself, if he stays to accompany me, I will spread the matter with him and explain it clearly.
Whether it is breaking up or looking back.
We have been together for eight years, and there must be a result.
"There is a very important meeting today, but I'll come back early. Please make up for the sleep, watch dramas, and read novels. I'll be back soon, okay?"
I let go.
Jiang Chi tucked me a quilt and kissed me on the head as usual:
"Be good, go to bed quickly, I have washed all the bowls this month, okay? Next month is your birthday, I will buy you whatever you want, okay?"
I nodded, and Jiang Chi felt relieved.
I watched him gently close the bedroom door, and the door outside was also closed.
I am the only one left again.
5
"I agree."
I lowered my head and signed, pushing the organ donation registration form to the female doctor in front of me.
The doctor's surname is An. He looks fair and looks a little older than me. She asked me with concern:
"Do your family agree? If your family disagrees, you can cancel it on your behalf."
"I don't have family." I smiled, "Don't you don't have anything to donate." After
, someone will visit my grave regularly.
I looked at her and keenly noticed the apology flashing across her face.
"You don't have to care, it's okay."
"... Actually, your condition is not that bad. Be optimistic. Your mood affects the condition." She was even more uneasy than me, "Chemistry and targeted treatment will affect the fetus, so I don't recommend it..."
"I know."
I have searched it. If it is a mild disease, you can try it. Maybe the mother and son are safe.
But if it is a serious illness, the doctor does not recommend retaining the fetus.
If my family was with me, the doctor might sing a double act with them, saying that I was actually very ill.
I saw someone in the post bar yesterday saying that if you cheat the patient, the patient will be in a good mood, a miracle will really happen.
It’s a pity that no one lies with me.
You can't leave her alone in this world, just like me.
"...If you are seven weeks pregnant, how old is he?" I lowered my head and smiled, "Actually, I don't even feel it."
"There is fetal heart ."
"Then will his heart really beat?"
"Yes." Dr. An should like the child very much, and he couldn't help but smile when he said this.
"It's so good."
I calculated the days. If there is no problem, I will be born in May next year.
If nothing goes wrong.
Seeing my appearance, she hesitated for a moment and wrote me a note:
"This is my phone number, and this is the same on WeChat. If there is any situation, please contact me directly."
"Thank you, Dr. An."
The bus back was very crowded. I sat in my seat and sent a message to Dr. An:
"Hello Dr. An, I searched online. They said that pregnancy is as nauseous as the late stages. I can't eat anything, and I can't tell it clearly."
was waiting for Dr. An when someone suddenly pushed me:
"Little girl, this is the seat for the elderly, weak, sick, disabled, pregnant women. Get up and let the old man be."
An old man with white hair and spirit stood in front of me, next to him was an enthusiastic aunt.
"The little girl is young and strong, it doesn't matter if she stands for a while."
started to speak in the car.
I took out the medical record and smiled and said,
"I am pregnant and have a late stage of gastric cancer. I am almost dying. Can I sit for a while?"
The whole car suddenly became quiet. At that moment, I felt that the conscience of the whole car was probably tortured.
. I don’t know why, but after saying this, I suddenly felt relieved.
Yes, I'm going to die, what else am I afraid of?
6
"I want to eat hot pot."
The boiling red oil pan bottom, Jiang Chi rinsed a piece of tripe, picked it up in fifteen seconds and picked it up for me.
I took a small bite and it was very crisp and tender.
But I want to swallow it but can't.
Two days ago, I found that swallowing is a very difficult thing.
I started stomachache half a year ago, and occasionally I feel nauseous and want to vomit.
I thought it was because I often don’t eat breakfast and my meals were irregular.
I used to be hungry and full when I was in school, and I never had time to eat at meal time.
Body reminded me a long time ago, but I didn't take it to heart.
I secretly spit my belly in a tissue while wiping my mouth.
"I still have to eat the white pot."
After I finished saying this, Jiang Chi wanted to mock me in the face, and suddenly his phone lit up.
He lowered his head and replied quickly, with a smile on his face that he didn't even notice.
I held my cheek and looked at him.
Sometimes I also wonder, why would I be the sick person?
Why can those who hurt others live for a long time?
birthday song rang, and the staff of Haidilao were already pushing the cake and light signs.
candles were lit for me, and he put down his phone and watched me make a wish.
Jiang Chi, you must live for a hundred years.
"Do you like the gift? I did my homework." Jiang Chi began to seek credit.
is a cow horn comb with a warm texture.
"Like it." I smiled and nodded, "Jiang Chi, after dinner, I want to go to our new home to see it."
"Okay, today you have your birthday, I will listen to you."
Jiang Chi turned sideways and fastened his seat belt for me. When he touched my arm, he frowned:
"Why are you so thin? You lose weight? I don't think you are fat."
"I haven't had an appetite recently." What do you say about
? Sometimes he is actually quite careless.
In the past two months, I was with him, and I didn’t say that my aunt came to see me, so I couldn’t be embarrassed, and I didn’t nest in the quilt and said that my stomach hurts.
He forgot to ask.
I thought of the WeChat message Jiang Lin sent him, one of which was to ask for leave during menstruation.
"Boss Jiang, stomachache."
"What's wrong?"
"How can I tell you about girls!"
"How can I tell you about girls!"
expression is a kitten rolling around.
Jiang Chi criticized her for two days off, and she happily sent me love you.
Jiang Chi did not reply again.
The car window was opened a little bit, and the evening breeze blew in my ears with the breath of camphor tree , outside was the colorful neon night view.
Actually, I don’t believe that Jiang Chi will cheat because the evidence is thin.
I could see through this tea-like and deliberate method that the newly graduated girl played with. The torn packaging of
can be deliberately put in, and the delay in getting the certificate may not be because of Jiang Lin.
He may not have fallen in love with Jiang Lin, but he must have been shaken when it comes to loving me.
You can clearly choose a male colleague to send him upstairs, you can politely refuse her to chat over the line, you can do not reply to messages in seconds, and you can love me firmly.
Just like on New Year's Eve that year, if he hesitated even for a second when I was wronged, I would not have followed him.
Love is a firm choice, love will not be shaken. Once
is shaken, it will only take that step.
