Psychological Short Video Selection Bot
Hi~ Here is the Simple Psychological Uni "Psychological Short Video Selection Bot" column.
We will collect short videos related to psychology from all over the world, share them with you in the form of graphic analysis, and use a relaxed perspective to guide you to understand all aspects of psychological counseling.
Share focus:
.5 different love stylesOur reactions to things and our self-expression methods are all formed from childhood.
A couple who have been engaged in marriage counseling for many years, Dr. Milan and Kay Yerkovich discovered the relationship between childhood life and adult love: Trauma experienced in childhood can affect adult love style.
The so-called love style is the way a person responds to his partner. Some people are willing to compromise; some people are used to avoiding...
Based on years of clinical experience, Milan and Kay proposed 5 love styles:
5 different love styles
Children who grew up in childhood under an overprotective or extreme family will do their best to become an "obedient good child" .
Children who survive in such a family have learned how to observe their expressions and how to ensure that everyone around them is happy. This way of survival will be used until adulthood. When they grow up, they will habitually please their partner of .
Pleasant people do not like to have conflicts with their partners, nor do they like to deal with disputes. In order to quickly solve the problem, they often take the initiative to admit their mistakes and apologize and make up for it.
In love, pleasers are always busy meeting the needs and desires of the other party, and rarely faces their own feelings and needs.
When the pleader puts too much pressure on himself, or feels that he always disappoints his partner, they may start choosing to escape in a relationship.
2. Victims (Victim)
Some children live in a family full of chaos.
In order to survive from irritable parents, Ta learn to hide themselves so quietly that they will not attract their parents' attention.
The childhood of living in the cracks has created their victim-like love style, and when they are lucky enough to get out of these chaos, they feel uneasy.
As adults, they tend to look for partners similar to their parents: they are good at manipulating and difficult to manage their emotions.
Because the victim is used to placing himself in an unstable relationship, because this is the interactive mode they are really familiar with: living in chaos created by the other party.
3. Controller (Controller)
Controller usually grows in a family with insecure sense.
Since childhood, they long to be strong enough to take care of themselves. In order to create a sense of security for themselves, they long to control everything.
controllers do not want to be controlled by emotions. They will hide away from the influential negative emotions such as fear, shame, and helplessness.
After adulthood, these resurgent emotions often turn the controller into a flammable and explosive companion . But in order to maintain control, they arm themselves with their anger.
In a romantic relationship, another characteristic of control makers is rigid . New attempts are potential crisis for their sense of control, and they will experience vulnerability and powerlessness again.
So, the controller will always stay in his comfort zone and always use a certain process or method to solve the problem.
4. Vacillator
"Does parents really love me?" Children raised by moody and self-conscious parents often have such confusion.
Even if parents start to share their time and care with their children, it seems difficult to eliminate their children's doubts, which will make their children angry and unwilling to accept their parents' love.
Hesitant enters a romantic relationship with full expectations and idealization. Once they feel the gap, they will feel disappointed, depressed and suspicious.
Ta can discover subtle changes in the partner and immediately detect the gradual drift in the relationship.
This eye that is good at discovering love flaws makes the hesitant feel more pain and entanglement in the relationship.
5. Avoider
Escapers usually grow in a family that feels weak in love and requires children to be self-reliant.
The scarce love and care of parents forces children to learn to take care of themselves and put their emotional needs aside.
Growing escapees trust their rational logic more.
When a partner shows ups and downs, they will feel at a loss. So they are more accustomed to putting themselves out of the matter and not creating more emotional links.
"Healing" 2 little Tips
In childhood, we did not have the ability to change our supporters, so we learned to change ourselves. As adults, we gradually realize that the behavioral patterns learned from childhood have a profound impact on building intimate relationships.
In order to get along with others better and fall in love with each other, we must learn to reconcile with our childhood. How to understand and accept your childhood trauma?
"Healing" of childhood trauma is a very subjective feeling. It does not include:
Forgot the past
No feelings for your past
Forgive the perpetrator
Forcibly become a "family fun"
Sacrifice your own feelings.
Make what others say "normal" reactions and live a "normal" life as others say.
only has positive emotions and never feel sad, angry or anxious.
And it often includes:
Acknowledge the past
Accept the past
Accept the past
Establish boundary line
There are more choices for how to deal with your past trauma
Relieve past trauma and trouble yourself
Become tougher
Learn healthy relationships
Strengthen your perception of your feelings
When necessary, seek help from professionals. psychological counseling will also become a way for you to get healed from childhood trauma.
Translation: Simple Psychology Uni
Editor: H3
Editor: Alwaysfifi
Simple Psychology Free Hotline Mini Program is online!
has emotional troubles, stress anxiety, and emotional problems
Click here to talk to us about
Should you do psychological counseling? These four signs tell you
5 signs, help you identify hidden depression
What kind of experience does it take to have a narcissistic mother? ｜10 characteristics of narcissistic mother
Video source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZj176ZoM4Yt=31s
👇Pull
No matter what style you are in, you deserve to be loved
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-