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In life, are you troubled by procrastination?
Facing the mountains of things, you know that you should start dealing with them, but you are anxiously unable to take action, but you are very upset about your delay afterwards.
On Douban , there is a group that "We are all procrastination". The posts inside record the netizens' various impressive procrastination experiences -
will hand in homework tomorrow, and I have to brush my phone all night and haven't started to do it yet;
graduation thesis was delayed until the last week before I started writing, which caused the defense to be stumbling;
ID card expired for four months before I changed it, and I didn't get it after many days of replacement;
delayed work, worked overtime until 1 a.m. every day, I didn't go to bed, but actually played until twelve o'clock...
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Why is there a procrastination? In the book " Procrastination Psychology ", it is pointed out that there are several reasons for people to procrastinate.
1. Fear of failure
Some people delay because they fear failure.
This type of procrastinator is worried that he will be judged by others, afraid that his shortcomings will be discovered by others, and afraid that he will make the best efforts or not meet the requirements.
In their hearts, there is a concept: self-worth = ability = performance.
If you perform well, you are capable and valuable; if you perform poorly, you are incapable and valuable.
They comfort themselves by procrastinating, thus believing that their abilities are higher than their performance, and are unwilling to bear the failure caused by hard work.
2. Fear of success
Some people delay because they fear success.
Such procrastinators cannot enjoy the joy of success, but are afraid of the adverse factors brought by success.
They are afraid that success will make them pay more and beyond their tolerance.
They are afraid that success will increase others' expectations of themselves, resulting in their loss of choice and control over life.
They are also afraid that their success will sting and offend others, and be jealous of others.
Therefore, they may disrupt success by procrastinating to avoid the negative impacts that need to be faced above.
3. Fight for control
Some people delay because they are fighting for control.
This type of procrastinator gains a sense of control over life through procrastination.
They resist the demands made by others on themselves, but they cannot refuse directly, so they have to respond with a procrastination.
Procrastination can make them break the rules and be themselves, and can also resist other people's infringement and say no to others in a passive way.
In addition to this, dragging things to the last moment can also give them a sense of adventure.
4. Finding a psychological comfort zone
Some people procrastinate because they are seeking a psychological comfort zone.
This type of procrastinator adjusts the distance between himself and others through procrastination to gain a sense of psychological security and comfort.
Some people are afraid of being alienated and afraid that they will feel isolated without partners, so they put themselves in trouble by procrastinating, hoping that others will save themselves and bring them closer.
Some people are afraid of intimacy, and are afraid that excessive intimacy will exhaust them, so they alienate their relationship by procrastinating to protect their rights and avoid being hurt again.
Whether it is fear of alienation or intimacy, procrastination has become a way to maintain their psychological comfortable distance.
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In life, if you encounter a situation of procrastination, how can you overcome it? The following strategies can be adopted.
1. Set clear goals and feasible plans
If you procrastinate while doing something, you can set actionable goals for yourself.
This goal needs to be observable, specific, and decomposed, and the first step can be completed within 5 minutes.
For example, if you procrastinate when reading a book, you can set a goal: read a page first;
If you procrastinate when cleaning, you can set a goal: clean the desk first;
If you procrastinate when processing files, you can set a goal: open the computer and files...
Take the first step, and you will find that things are not as complicated as you imagined.
When you have made progress, you can give your favorite things as rewards, such as a meal of food, a movie, outdoor play, etc.
2. Learn to judge time and manage time
If you feel panic as time passes little by little.
Then you need to make plans in advance and arrange your time reasonably before doing things.
You can observe how long it takes to complete something yourself in your daily life.
For example, how long does it take to read a book on one page to arrange the time it takes to read the complete book by yourself.
When dealing with larger tasks, you can use fragmented time, such as 10 minutes or 30 minutes, to complete the task intermittently.
3. Reject things that are useless to you
When you cannot directly refuse, you may use procrastination to respond indirectly.
In response to this situation, you need to refuse things that are useless to you.
For example, say no to people or things that waste your time;
throw away useless debris in your life and inapplicable concepts in your heart;
reduces the use of electronic products and avoids information overload, etc.
4. Use your body and sensory experience to get rid of procrastination
Take good care of your body, and a good physical and mental state will help you handle things more.
When procrastinating, you can perform appropriate exercises and exercise your body to make your brain easier.
can also shift your attention to your breathing through mindfulness to relieve the anxiety caused by procrastination.
can also maintain sufficient sleep and make yourself more energetic to deal with things.
When your physical and mental state is in peace, you are more likely to get rid of procrastination.
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at the end
defeating procrastination requires a process, and there may be repeated situations in the middle.
Don’t blame yourself or be upset about this, but learn to affirm your progress in a timely manner.
In this way, you will have more courage to face what you need to deal with instead of procrastinating.
(part of the article comes from Jane Bock Lenora Yuan "Psychology of Delay")
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