During a yoga activity, fellow traveler Xiao Y had a conflict with the yoga teacher. It was a trivial matter, but it made me think.
In relationships, people who have relationship problems with authority often have such a situation. They project into leaders, teachers, parents-in-law... some older or authoritative relationships. That is, they will subconsciously regard them as parents. Therefore, treat them Parents' good feelings, expectations, and emotions will be projected onto each other. At the same time, bad feelings, expectations, and emotions will also be projected onto each other.
When a leader or other authority criticizes, one feels particularly aggrieved, angry, and unfair. If the other party cannot understand or admit that it is their responsibility or misunderstanding, they will never give up. They may have been entangled in this topic, repeatedly emphasizing right and wrong. As long as they are not understood, they will continue to be entangled in it. The time and intensity have already exceeded that. The intensity of a sentence of criticism.
Therefore, onlookers always feel baffled and incredible. "It's such a big deal, how can it be so mindless?" It is incomprehensible.
But the person involved may not have that self-awareness at that moment. Can't see the whole. Fall into "right and wrong", fall into persistence. If you have an inner motivation, you must "win" and defeat the opponent. Wrong becomes very "terrible", and that "terrible" is in the memory of the past. It left a deep imprint on him, making him desperately want to escape. So he must fight for what is right and wrong. This right and wrong may not be really right or wrong, it may be real right or wrong. But from the perspective of a bystander, It is obviously abnormal and unworthy to defend this right and wrong with the energy of blowing up the world, and it will not lead to... And the parties fall into the trap. The truth obviously cannot help the parties. Some people will always stay in their own principles and feel that It's the other party's fault, let's just let it go for the time being. The matter is left alone, and it has not been fundamentally solved.
And some people will see the bigger picture after returning to rationality, and feel guilty.
Some people say that changes need to be made, but if I always feel that it is someone else's fault. How can I change myself if I don't turn around?
Some people say don't blame yourself and accept yourself. If you accept yourself as you are, how can you have the motivation to change?
See, be aware, see Greater inner motivation. Don’t waste your energy on long-term self-blame and guilt. Instead, experience your own inner motivation and crack the motivation pattern. Be more aware of the trigger points and reaction mechanisms of your own pattern. .
Awareness + awareness is equal to awareness!
Subtle training can exercise the ability of awareness, understanding of one's own inner patterns, and the mastery of alternative mature cognition. It is the condition for awareness to work.
is too concerned about criticism and is too sensitive to it. Afraid that oneself is Wrong, trying to get rid of it is the inner motivation. To respond to criticism with unequal emotional energy is to dump the old emotional energy towards others into the current people and things. You need to be aware of yourself in the present moment.
Treat the unfairness of people and things at the moment, see the bigger picture, jump out of narrow obsessions, and get out of the predicament.
Be grateful for the love and support of the people around you, and have love and respect in your heart. This is also the energy that can be exerted in every moment!
Psychology is not profound. It is hidden in the trivial matters and trivial matters in our lives. Whether you notice it or not, it is always around you. As Jung said: The subconscious mind is controlling your life, but you call it "fate".
