After having more contact with depression, I discovered a very interesting phenomenon. Many people suffering from depression are very good people. So why does depression always fail to bypass those outstanding people?

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Text/Old K

After being exposed to depression more, I will find a very interesting phenomenon. Many people who suffer from depression are very good people.

I remember that our family often joked that "fools cannot get depression" .

So why does depression always escape those outstanding people?

Perfectionism

Scientists have found that people with "perfectionism" or "introverted and introspective personality" are more likely to suffer from diseases, not only depression, but even tumors and some other chronic diseases.

Perfectionism and introspection are really a double-edged sword. From this process, people with perfectionism and introspection are really a weapon to transform themselves.

But you must know that excessive perfectionism and introspection will destroy yourself. A psychologist once said that perfectionism = ruin. It is not unreasonable.

Many of the depressed patients I have come into contact with have almost perfect personalities, they are considerate, delicate, considerate, understand others, forgive others, etc. They often sacrifice themselves to satisfy others. When they have conflicts with others, they immediately Blame yourself.

Our culture often emphasizes self-denial and altruism, etc., but a person who cannot even take care of himself cannot truly be self-denial and altruistic. I often tell my visitors, Even if you are perfect, you will not let everyone else If you are satisfied with you, sometimes when others slander you or hate you, it is not your problem, but may be caused by their own inner complex.

For example, a person who always dislikes himself will be full of accusations towards others. This is a typical projection psychology. When you agree with other people's accusations, you will fall into infinite self-doubt. This is the psychological hotbed of depression. .

As everyone knows, many people who suffer from depression due to PUA in love are typical abbreviations of the above situation.

Excessive low self-esteem

Many patients with depression have severe low self-esteem due to childhood experiences. When they grow up, they are used to trying their best to prove themselves to others.

Many children have been educated since childhood to satisfy the eyes of others, forming an overly powerful pseudo-self (mask personality). The price is that the children gradually lose contact with their true feelings and emotions. The child loses awareness, passion, clarity, and meaning of his or her true feelings.

This child may grow up to be a very good student, good at sports, or any other activity that his mother approves of. But deep down she felt no pleasure or satisfaction in what her mother wanted her to do. Because she's not doing it for herself, but because she knows it's what her mother thinks is important.

To be honest, they don’t know what they really want. They just think that as long as they are good enough, they can get more recognition and love from others. But the fact is that they don't know how good they need to be to satisfy others.

Patients with depression gradually form such negative beliefs: I am unlovable, I am incompetent, and I am worthless.

Sometimes they do desperately pursue secular success, and they will also win praise from some people, but you must know that success is not the only way for a person to truly achieve happiness, and excessive utilitarianism will also make others uncomfortable, so we You will find that many overly utilitarian people only have career in their eyes, but make their lives a mess.

Because the only thing they can take advantage of in life is worldly achievements. When the worldly achievements change, their hearts will collapse. This is the reason why they are strong on the outside but weak on the inside.

Dr. Lars Madsen, an Australian clinical psychology expert on and self-confidence, said that self-confidence is the main reason for the development and persistence of depression. People with low self-esteem tend to view things in a negative way.

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When a person is too powerful, it will attract people who lack independent thinking (not many people can think independently), so they are very good at Please others, please the people they need to please. But underneath their easy-going appearance, they are very afraid of others and don't trust anyone. Their attractiveness, their ability to please, is their way of controlling others so they don't get hurt.

In summary, this kind of character quality makes it easier for them to achieve worldly success, but this kind of character will make them fall into deep pain.

⭐️ For more psychological healing articles, you can refer to my learning experience: