Author Li Jinming
In March 1946, Li Fengge, Zhao Xiuqun and their daughter were in Zhangjiakou. On the first day of the tenth lunar month in 2022, the Winter Clothes Festival, , I called my younger brother and sister in Baoding, Hebei, and told them to remember to "send cold clothes" to their mother. After my mother left forever, my longing for her grew stronger as time went by.
一
My mother, Zhao Xiuqun, was born in 1924 in Beiyuba Village, Gaoyang County, Hebei Province. In early 1938, as the anti-Japanese war raged across the Jizhong Plain, my mother's third uncle (who I call my third grandpa) secretly joined the Communist Party of China and became the first Communist Party member in his family. While delivering intelligence to the Eighth Route Army, Grandpa San was arrested by the Japanese army. He was unyielding and was brutally murdered by the enemy. After the founding of New China, Grandpa San was awarded the title of "Revolutionary Martyr" and his remains were reburied in Baoding Martyrs Cemetery. The sacrifice of her third grandfather had a great impact on her mother. Regardless of her family's objections, she resolutely threw away the foot bindings. She participated in revolutionary activities in the village at a young age and actively participated in anti-Japanese and national salvation activities.
At that time, my mother's hometown was a guerrilla zone. She first joined the Anti-Japanese Children's League, and then joined the "Women's Anti-Japanese National Salvation Pioneers" (Women's Anti-Japanese National Salvation Pioneers) at the age of 15. At the age of 16, she served as the deputy captain of the village's "Women's Anti-Japanese National Salvation Pioneers". She once wore leg wraps and a pistol in her waist, and led her sisters to make military shoes, deliver public rations, carry stretchers, and rescue the wounded for the Eighth Route Army and guerrillas...
In early 1942, Li Fengge, the guerrilla captain of the Fourth District of Li County, led his team members to North Yuba Village. Li Fengge led more than 20 team members to fight against Japanese invaders and kill traitors. He is a local legend - this is my father. In April, after being introduced by someone, the two got married, and the mother, who was less than 20 years old, married to Sangyuanying Village in Li County. On the wedding day, his father left home, leaving his newlywed wife busy taking care of the family and the children. My grandfather had passed away for two years at that time, and my grandmother took care of her three young children (my uncle and sister-in-law).
Early one morning, my mother went to work in the fields west of the village. When she stood up to wipe her sweat, she saw a group of people on the plain coming from the direction of Dayangzhuang. Dayangzhuang was an important stronghold of the Japanese army. She realized that the enemy was out, thought again, threw away the hoe and ran home quickly. My mother ran into the house and saw my grandma cooking porridge in front of the stove. She ran into the house while shouting, "The Japanese are coming, let's go!" At that time, the young uncle and sister-in-law were still sleeping on the kang. My mother jumped on the kang and suddenly lifted their quilts: "Get up and run, the Japs are coming!"
When my mother returned to the main room, she saw that grandma was still packing things in front of the stove - probably because she couldn't bear to part with the pot of porridge. My mother pulled out the lit firewood and branches from the stove fire, stamped her feet a few times, then grabbed my uncle and sister-in-law, and my grandma. Then she grabbed the only cotton-padded jacket in the house and rushed out the door together, running in the opposite direction to the enemy. This was what people often called "running against the grain" at that time.
In the evening, the enemy retreated, and my mother took my grandma and the others back to the village. They stood in the small courtyard and saw three houses in ruins. I heard from people in the village that the Japanese and puppet troops came to the village to arrest my father. When they couldn't catch my father, they became angry and beat people and burned down the houses. The villagers also said that it was fortunate that you ran fast. If you were not caught in the stronghold, it would be hard to say whether you would survive.
Grandma kept crying. Mother held back her tears and squatted in front of her with a blackened rafter and said, "Mom, don't cry. Just give it a few more years and wait until the Japanese are beaten away. Then everything will be fine!" At this point, mother put the cotton-padded jacket she had snatched out earlier and put it on grandma. The mother-in-law and daughter-in-law hugged each other and cried while facing the ruins. Later, my mother and grandmother built a shack in the yard to live. Her natal family in Gaoyang County learned about her situation and asked her to go back to her natal family, but she refused to go and said, "How will this family live if I leave!" In August 1945, news of Japan's surrender came to the county, and her mother and the whole village rejoiced.My grandma asked: "Is your man coming back soon?"
My mother said shyly: "I guess he will be soon!"
One day in September, my mother and grandma were cutting grass in the yard, and the sound of voices came from far away. The mother raised her head and saw her father and the village chief, who were wearing military uniforms and holding horses, walking along the path. She happily said to her grandma: "He's back. Didn't I tell you that he will come back after beating the Japanese away!"
My father kept saying hello to the villagers he met along the way. He walked around the puddle in the west of the village and came to the front of his yard. Only half of the earthen wall was left, allowing him to see the yard clearly. He looked around and was stunned for a moment. Where is home? Where is home? In the past, the home had three rooms and a stable - although simple, it was complete, but in front of us was a ruin. My mother came to the door of the hospital and said, "I'm back!" Then she was speechless, with tears in her eyes.
When my father saw his mother’s tattered clothes, he didn’t know what to say.
Father turned around and saw grandma standing in the yard, also wearing a tattered gown, covering her eyes with her hands, looking towards him. During the Anti-Japanese War , grandma experienced too much suffering and sadness, and her eyes were blurred from crying.
The father shouted: "Mom!"
Grandma agreed: "Come back?"
The father replied: "Come back and have a look."
The father tied the reins of the war horse to an old elm tree at the door, walked into the yard, and bent down to enter the shack. In the low shack, there was only a cooking pot, a temporary earthen bed made of adobe, and a tattered quilt. He lifted the lid of the urn and saw several kilograms of corn kernels inside. The other urn was empty. He bent down and walked out of the shack again, took a few steamed buns and a piece of pickles off the horse, and handed them to my grandma: "Mom, the company commander asked me to bring this back." Grandma took it, looked at it carefully, and put it back in the shack with special treasure.
His mother looked at his attire and asked, "Have you joined the army (from the guerrillas)?"
His father said, "The county brigade has been upgraded. I have been promoted to the 24th Regiment and served as deputy company commander of the 8th company..."
While he was talking, his father saw his three younger brothers and younger sisters walking back each carrying a basket of grass. The eldest of these three children is fourteen or fifteen years old, and the youngest is seven or eight years old. From a distance, it looks like three haystacks are moving. The father quickly stepped forward to greet him. He knew that selling grass was the family's only income... His father asked about the situation at home and in the village, gave his younger brother and younger sister a few words, and then took out the food allowance he had saved from his pocket. He looked at his wife and then at his mother, not knowing who to give the money to.
My mother said, "Leave it to my mother!"
My father handed the money to my grandma and said a few words to the village chief about renovating the house. He looked at the sun and said, "I have to go." After saying that, he went to the tree to untie the horse's reins, stepped on the stirrups, and got on the horse.
At this time, grandma suddenly ran over, grabbed the horse's reins and said, "You can't leave! Look at this home, how can you survive?"
The war horse neighed, My father pulled the horse's head hard and whispered to grandma: "Mom, I have to go back to the army. You will have to suffer for a few more years..."
Grandma's sick body had no strength and could not hold the horse. She staggered a step, but still did not let go. Mother rushed up and hugged grandma, "Mom, please let go, the army is in big trouble. Let's hold on for a few more years!"
Father put the horse's head down hard, clamped his legs, and the horse jumped out and ran away in a flash. Seeing the war horse run away, my mother and grandma sat on the ground together and cried loudly. Their cries shocked half the village.
My father later told me that he vaguely heard the cries of my mother and daughter-in-law, and he did not dare to look back. He was afraid that if he looked back, he would collapse. The war horse galloped up the path into the green gauze tent from the edge of the village. My father was on the horse, pulling the reins and howling loudly. As the eldest son in the family, before my grandfather passed away, he promised that "they will not go hungry", but he did not fulfill it.
Not only did his mother, daughter-in-law, brothers, and sisters suffer from hunger, but their house was also burned down... He felt too much guilt, ashamed of his dead ancestors and his relatives at home...
三
His father was away on the march fighting, and his mother was frightened at home.
After a battle, my father's army returned to Zhangjiakou, Hebei Province to rest and recuperate. One day, he went to the street and met a fellow from Li County who was doing fur goods business, and the two chatted for a while.
fellow said: "Your whole family is thinking about you! Your mother will see you once and ask her once." He saw his father's neck twisting unnaturally and asked what was going on.
His father told him that during the war a while ago, a bullet passed through his neck. He had been recovering from the injury in the health team for a long time and had just been discharged from the hospital.
The fellow said: "Tell your mother and daughter-in-law to come and have a look."
Considering the long distance from Li County to Zhangjiakou, the father said, "No, I don't know when the army will leave."
Unexpectedly, more than ten days later, my mother suddenly came to the small village where my father's army was stationed, carrying a small baggage and holding her 3-year-old daughter (my eldest sister) in her arms. The sentry asked about the situation and shouted happily to the company headquarters: "Captain Li, your family members are here!"
My father ran out of the company headquarters and saw my mother. He was stunned: "Why are you here?"
My mother said, "Is your injury healed? Mom is worried, let me come and take a look." It turned out that the fellow villager still enthusiastically brought the news to his mother.
That night, the company cadres collectively treated my mother to a meal. It is said that the cooking team enthusiastically prepared six dishes for her. My mother stayed in the company for three days and was about to leave because spring plowing had begun...
四
In January 1949, the 8th Brigade of the 3rd Column of the Shanxi-Chahar-Hebei Military Region where my father was located was changed to the 188th Division of the 63rd Army of the Chinese People's Liberation Army. In April, the Taiyuan Battle ended successfully. My father, who had been injured five times, left the 188th Division and went to work for the Taiyuan City Military Control Commission. My mother followed the army to Taiyuan.
Family portrait of Li Jinming (first from right in the back row) in July 1972.
In 1953, his father took off his military uniform and transferred to the railway police station. In those years, old comrades-in-arms and their families often came to visit the house, and the house was full of chirping, laughing and joking, and it was very lively. At that time, my grandma was reluctant to part with the land and lived in the village by herself. After the mother joined the army with her two children, she repeatedly asked to go out to work. My father was in the public security department, and there were gangsters and other agents who threatened railway safety. He often didn't come home for more than ten days, so he didn't agree to his mother's work.
I am the third child of my parents. After my mother gave birth to me, my father said to her: "There are many children in the family. If you support me, you support my work. You should not go out to work."
So, my mother An Xin became a housewife in Taiyuan.
One year, an old comrade who was the secretary of the municipal party committee in a certain place came to visit his father at home. During the conversation, he mentioned that when he was a soldier in the Eighth Route Army, he was injured in a battle and recuperated in his mother's hometown. At that time, authentic and had not yet emerged. One day, he suddenly heard gunshots outside the village. He was still bandaged and hurriedly got into the smoke hole of the Tukang. A child from the landlord's house was so anxious that he brought a large pile of firewood and blocked the entrance of the chimney cave. After a while, the Japanese and puppet troops rushed into the yard to search, but did not find him hiding in the Tukang. Recalling that escape experience, he was very emotional.
When the mother on the side heard this, she suddenly asked: "Are you talking about May 1938?"
The old comrades were surprised: "How do you know this time?"
My mother said happily: "It was my house where you stayed to recuperate, and I was the one holding a lot of firewood to block the kang hole!"
The old comrades were surprised and happy: "Yes, it was the second year of the July 7th Incident, and I stayed in the fortress house to recuperate for more than half a month.I remember there was a teenage girl in the landlord's house, who was thin and small..."
The mother said: "That's me! My family used to be poor and had no food or drink. It was only when the Eighth Route Army came and the landlords ran away that we could eat food. "
The mother's words made the father and the old comrades sigh with emotion. The old Eighth Route Army never imagined that decades later, he would meet the little girl who saved his life, and this brave and careful girl would later become the wife of his comrades.
五
In the autumn of 1964, my father went to work on the Baoding Railway. My mother took her five sons and two daughters back to Baoding, China. In June 1969, I left Baoding and went to Dingxian (now Dingzhou City, China) to work in the countryside. In December 1970, I joined the army and started my military career. After I graduated from to , due to my busy work schedule, it was rare for me to go home and see my mother. I couldn't stay there for only a few days before I had to rush to the army again. Every time at this time, my mother always asked cautiously: "How many more days can't we stay? "
I said: "I can't stay any longer, something is wrong with the army! "
My mother stopped trying to persuade me to stay and just quietly packed my things until I set off. I always wonder, was she the same when my father embarked on a war journey?
In February 1980, my father became ill due to overwork and left us. After my father passed away, the family had no main source of income, and my mother only had a survivor’s allowance of more than 20 yuan per month. At that time, the family had two children who were not working and had not started a family. Life became very difficult, and it was very difficult to manage the family. The burden is on the mother's shoulders. Since then, my mother's hair has lost its luster and is interspersed with strands of silver hair. My income is small, and I am in the military, so I am powerless.
My mother always reminded me that I should do a good job in the army and be worthy of the military uniform. She sent four of our brothers to join the army one after another. Whenever one of her children left home, she would always say sincerely: "Be a down-to-earth person and do things..."
In November 2004, Zhao Xiuqun took a group photo with his son Li Jinming and his granddaughter in Beijing.
One day in the early 1990s, his mother suffered a cerebral hemorrhage. Thanks to the doctors' rescue efforts and our efforts, she miraculously recovered. My mother knew that I loved to drink porridge. From then on, every time I came home from visiting relatives, she would stand on tiptoe to make porridge for me. Decades of wind and frost have carved many wrinkles on my mother's face. I truly feel that my mother, who has suffered many hardships, is indeed old. However, she was still harsh in disciplining us. One day in 1992, a local friend asked me for some help and sent two bottles of wine to my house to express his gratitude. After the visitor left, my mother scolded me loudly and asked me "how much is too much"...I never dared to He talked back and defended himself, and kept in mind his mother's teachings, and was even more careful not to touch the "red line" of party discipline and state law.
In October 2008, my mother left us forever at the age of 85. In accordance with her last wish, we sent her coffin back to Sangyuanying Village in Li County to be buried with her father.
Every year on Qingming Festival, we brothers and sisters get together to pay homage to our parents. In the past three years, I have not been able to go back because of the epidemic. The cemetery next to Sangyuanying Village often makes me miss it. People in the village called and said that the old pine tree in the cemetery was extremely green. I was a little relieved. It was the resting place of my parents and the roots of the second and third generations of our family.
