One day in November 2017, actor Reyiza felt "wrong" for the first time. At that time, " Chang'an Twelve Hours " was being prepared, and she and her agent came more than a month earlier than the agreed time for joining the group.
After the work started, Reyza developed abnormalities such as drowsiness, severe cough, pain all over the body, and memory loss. Once she even spent more than an hour memorizing a few short lines. After going to the hospital for treatment, Reyiza finally understood that all her discomforts were caused by severe depression. During the period of
, the doctor advised her to stay in the hospital for three days in order to be on safety, but Reyiza said she was "sorry" to stop. Because the production cost of "The Twelve Hours of Chang'an" is tens of millions, Reyiza feels that she can't be the slow-paced person. After the communication was made, Reyiza brought the doctor's prescribed medicine back to the crew to continue working. This time she thought she had found the lifebuoy.
Another crew lunch, Reyiza ate and had a sound in her mind, and the voice said to her, "Go to die." At that time, Reyiza had been taking medicine for a while and felt that her condition was still stable.
This sound in her mind made her mess up.
So Reyiza put down the bowls and chopsticks, immediately got up and headed for the scissors. Fortunately, this dangerous thought flashed by and she "beared" it again.
Dangerous Edge
After filming the film, Reyiza returned to Beijing. As sensitive as she was, she immediately discovered the "changes" after the diagnosis.
The retired parents originally lived in Urumqi for a long time, and their older brother Saili usually likes to travel around. After learning that she is in a bad condition, all the family stayed in Beijing to accompany her.
The family lived together again at this moment, but Reyiza felt that she had caused them a lot of trouble. Under the dual torture of her spirit and body, her weight dropped all the way, and she even fell to 80 kilograms for a while.
In the process of fighting against emotional illness, Reyiza tried many ways to actively save herself, and finally she found that writing a diary was relatively useful. "I don't know who will watch it, but I will try to record it," so Reyza began to record fragments of life during the treatment online.
In her diary, there is empathy for the plot of the movie, and there is also a record of emotional changes after taking the medicine, and more of a kind of thinking.
It is about diseases, feelings, self-awareness and how to get along with the world around you. In the long-term self-examination, Reyiza wrote sadly, "Pretend it and reassure the people around her. This is the only thing I can do now."
After the filming of "The Twelve Hours of Chang'an" was completed, Reyiza made the first unexpected decision in her career trajectory: temporarily suspend work for one year.
In the past twelve months, she has not taken on any new dramas, but instead devoted herself to primary and secondary school drama education, becoming the "Teacher Zaza" in the children's words.
In the eyes of people in the circle and industry peers, Reyiza, who is about to usher in a period of career growth, is too willful to do this.
Time comes to the summer of 2019, and the TV series "Twelve Hours of Chang'an" that allowed Reyiza to train for 12 months was popular.
Many people remember Tan Qi, who had a tall nose bridge and a alert and cold look in the play, also noticed the actor behind Reyiza. After the increase in attention of
, Reyiza still did not disclose the condition to the public. At that time, she helped the familiar director promote new works, stood up for her new drama, shared songs she loved to listen to and books she was reading...so it was so "vibrant" in social software.
When "Summer of the Band" was popular, Reyiza, who is a family member of the circle, also caught up with variety shows. In the middle, she poked penicillin's lung tube a lot. Fortunately, both sides sat down and chatted for a few hours, and finally "smile and forget their grudges."
In early August this year, Reyiza became a hot search because of the airport photo. In that set of photos, she had almost no embellishment and only wore one sunglasses.
The whole person is plump and confident, wearing a bright yellow suspender generously facing the various shots surrounding him.
After the whole network discussed it, Reyiza responded jokingly.She said, "I'm sorry, it's annoying. I continue to work hard to lose weight, strive to reappear the vest line and give away eight packs of abdominal muscles."
At this time, Reyiza looked straightforward and bold, sincere and generous, and no difference from other artists.
, the real "difference" is only she herself understands: the fight against emotional illness has not yet ended.
The beginning of the storm
In the early morning of August 23, 2019, Reyiza posted a text on Weibo , thereby revealing her condition.
"Why am I so interesting? It's because I have died many times and I know the meaning of life. So I am willing to pass on it to you interesting things. Life is too hard. Without hurting others, live yourself without breaking the law. Life is an adventure."
Then, she frankly shared several key information in the comment section and also posted the diagnosis at that time.
First, she had suffered from severe depression + severe anxiety.
Reyiza admitted that she was not in good condition at that time, and had extreme thoughts at one time, and wrote a suicide note.
Second, she is still receiving medication, but she has already overcome the most difficult part, so she hopes to help people in the same situation as her.
At the end of the self-report, Reyiza left a sentence: "I will help you with the answer, don't leave easily."
After dawn, related entries such as "Reyza Depression" were quickly put on the hot search. After this disclosure, the public opinion trend around Reiza is still positive. There are patients in the comment section who asked her how to relieve her symptoms, and there are female friends who support freedom of dressing. More people are lamenting that whether it is thought or action, Reiza's courage is to some extent a "minority" among artists. After answering many related questions after opening private messages at
, Reyiza was extremely aware that her abilities were limited. She said, "First, I don't want to be a sinner, second, I'm not God," and expressed her hope that netizens who have the same problems will receive fundraising and treatment through formal channels.
did not exaggerate because of its actor status, nor did it endlessly guide the public's emotions. Actor Reiza, who actively disclosed his serious depression, can be said to have done two things: courage and sober.
On September 29, 2019, Reyiza was interviewed by the media, and she was very calm under the camera. Speaking of the "out of control" on the crew, she did not deny the degree of danger, but only said, "That time I could feel the lifebuoy in my heart was leaking."
After an interview with a newspaper, Reyiza began to be on the hot searches because of related topics. During the period, she lived as usual, posted photos of cats and business in a friendly manner, and occasionally showed her curvy beauty generously.
Reyiza didn't know that behind the seemingly comfortable and peaceful daily life, an undercurrent was quietly accumulating energy, always preparing to drag her to the range of the Internet trolls.
goes from "free dressing" to "reyza is so tough", and then to "respond to hype rumors". After several hot searches, netizens' attitudes changed: I'm afraid this person is not a marketing genius.
Around the 11th of this year, Reiza, who had been calm for more than a month, said "speaking" again.
She responded to the two major questions from netizens in a fierce manner: "No interview was asked by me, and no hot search was operated by myself."
"If so, I was hit and killed by a car when I went out." Reyiza said this in anger in the interview, but it was cut off later.
Reiza, who has been quiet for many years since her debut, seemed to have suddenly become a so-called "hot search physique".
The popularity around her fell into two poles with great dramatic tension: Sahezhu (zuo sound). His eyes were pulled back to Reyza.
Since she disclosed her condition, in addition to the increasingly common emotional diseases in modern society, there is another fact worth paying attention to.
That is the " online violence " targeting public figures.
and malicious confrontation
On October 14, a blogger with an ID named "Hardcore Girl" spoke rudely and posted a message directly pointing out Reiza's hype. In her judgment, it is not difficult to see traces of the logical consistency of contemporary trolls.
It is more exposed to wear clothes = Reyiza is ridiculed by the late artist Cui Xueli's popularity = ridicule + scold her and it's all done.
This malicious bullet flew for a while, and the "hardcore girl" fired several hammers again.
except pointing out that Reyiza is depressed and wants to be popular is real. The blogger began to attack netizens without any difference: "Ku Reyiza's good figure can't tell whether she is sexy or vulgar."
After being "insulted" several times, Reyiza in the center of the storm decided not to make soft persimmons anymore, so he resorted to legal means to resolve the matter.
At this time, Reyiza probably didn’t expect that the drama he was forced to participate in had just begun.
Around 20 o'clock on the evening of October 14, the "Hardcore Girl" posted another long article. She said that under Reyza's malicious guidance, she was besieged by netizens who flocked to her.
Human flesh search, curse, insult, coercion... The blogger who provoked this verbal battle seemed particularly innocent and said bluntly that he was the victim of online violence.
The war of verbal is about to break out, and all Reyza can do is to lift his wounds. She tried to prove that depression is a real torture for herself, not a sympathy tag.
might as well break down the conflict between Reyiza and the "hardcore girl". It is by no means an ordinary verbal battle, so eye-catching rhetoric such as "exposed habit", "paying popularity", and "sexy X" can be put aside for the time being.
For a long time, in the real and online world, many people have a slightly unfair mindset.
Some people even derived more distorted ideas based on this: You are a celebrity, and you earn so much money, what's wrong with scolding you? I can't die if I scold you!
After the confrontation, Reyiza's counterattack was like an awakening and a sharp weapon. It first breaks the gray fact that people are accustomed to.
means that public figures can hardly respond. They have to bear the scolding. Once they fight back, they will be cyber violence against amateurs.
followed by Reyiza’s personal awakening.
After realizing the injustice, she could not convince herself to compromise with the online mob and chose to fight the unspoken rules by one person.
When the storm first started, Reyiza might have been helpless. As the front advances, she may have realized some fact: people are people first, and then they are highly anticipated artists.
No one should bear the sudden malice out of thin air because of his profession and a certain identity.
The elongated front
As mentioned earlier, Reyiza’s hot searches and updates since her debut are less than more than a month or two.
After entering the public eye because of "freedom of dressing", Reyiza may not have thought that she would passively open a corner of the online world.
This is not a never-no island full of kindness and warmth. It is full of malice and prejudice that cannot be eliminated, and a forced self-lost.
This is by no means a good thing for Reyza, who is about to collapse.
On November 1, Reyiza, who was in a state of repeated emotions, posted another article, calling out an unscrupulous marketing account. This time the marketing account's remarks were quite heartbreaking, and it pointed out that Reyzala stepped on the actress Tong Liya.
by the way spread the rumors that the former was marketing through depression and that Tong Liya had suppressed her peers but was now "restormed" by Reyiza.
This Weibo post was posted at 11:30 in the evening, and the reposts that night did not even exceed 500. The next morning, after Reyza issued a "counterattack trailer", keywords such as "pulling Tong Liya" became the hot search. During
, Reyiza seemed to have reached a critical point, constantly retaliating and forwarding bad comments.
From the beginning, it soared all the way to the later 239 or more, Reyiza once again wandered on the brink of "out of control". Behind the appearance of
, the face of onlookers is particularly distorted. After careful reading, the Weibo posts that were forwarded were simply diss and verbal, but later they were full of malicious provocations.
"Aren't you going to have a hangup? I'll bring a topic to see if you flip the cards." Most of the Weibo posts in the topic pool reveal this kind of idea of watching the fun.
Some online trolls were once proud of being forwarded by Reyiza, but after the climax they deleted Weibo at the same time.
After the war on Reyiza's Weibo, "Sorry, this Weibo has been deleted by the author", and such traces of mocking can be seen everywhere.
From talking about the topic, to directly circle out Reyiza and insulting. After angering the artist, he deleted the blog at a speed of light, and finally turned into a little transparent passerby who was "brutally raped by the Internet".
This set of practice makes perfect operations is full of the deformed atmosphere of online subculture. The party being watched is not Reyza, but the so-called netizens who enjoy the pure and extreme "evil".
Among the operators behind these accounts, there may be office workers who are silent in the office. Or strangers passing by you on the subway, and young men and women doing nothing with their cell phones.
But without exception, they are like Reyza said, each of them are the "participants" who have tried to drive her crazy.
Last night, this one-person battle was coming to an end, and Reyiza finally slowed down the pace of confrontation with the outside world. She ate skewers first as a midnight snack. After waking up the next day, she posted a new book and her beloved cat Judou, and responded to several malicious netizens in the middle.
Finally, Reyiza used a lawyer's statement to give this "battle" a temporary pause.
This document does not contain any description of economic compensation. All it requires is a simple six words: public apology.
She said this on the Weibo post by Reyza. "Forget it again and again, forget it, forget it, it becomes to make the evil people even worse, make the bad people even worse, let fallacies overcome the truth, and let darkness overcome the light."
"Today is me, who will be tomorrow?"
After the emotional pull, Reyiza was still scrutinizing and asking questions. Unfortunately, no one who advised her to block netizens or to withdraw from blogs came forward to answer.
Not stepping on someone else’s emotional breakdown is perhaps the only thing we can do.
It's decent and difficult, but be sure to do it.
and Reyiza, who fights back against the surging malicious intentions alone like a warrior, please take care of it.
