In November this year, the resume of a five-year-old child in Shanghai became popular.
At the age of five, he has read English books over 3500 books per year. He has been to more than 4 cities at home and abroad. He has nearly 4 hobbies such as piano and Go. He also does experiments by himself...
After reading it, many people said that this resume is outrageous and can even kill many graduates from 985 universities in seconds. The children will definitely have a bright future when they grow up.
There are also many people who question the way their children’s parents are educated, believing that their children are deprived of their childhood and will not feel real happiness.
No matter who is right or wrong, it is certain that The mothers of our era are suffering from more anxiety than ever before.
In the Upper East Side of New York, there are also a group of children who know eighteen martial arts skills like the children mentioned above. Although their elite mothers, although their parenting process looks very different from ours, their anxiety is the same.
The story I want to tell today comes from the bestseller "Primates of Park Avenue", which is listed on the list, which is the bestseller ""Primates of Park Avenue", (Chinese version "I am a mother, I need Platinum Bag " has been published by CITIC Publishing Group in December 2018) Author Winisty Martin in early years majoring in anthropology at the University of Michigan , and later obtained a doctorate in comparative literature and cultural studies at Yale University.
She is also a mother of two children.
Venicethy describes how she went from being an "immigrant" in Manhattan's Upper West Side to a completely so-called "Upper East Side Mommy" and a parenting story that is different from ordinary people as an Upper East Side Mommy.
Upper East District's impression of many people is still in "Gossip Girl" or "Sex and the City" - is rich, perfect, elite, and upper class. But when the rumored girls become Shangdong's mother, the situation is different.
Geographically, the Upper East District is located in the east of Central Park, New York, , which is the area on the left side of the green belt in the picture above
In order to integrate into the Upper East District Mommy Circle, the author began a six-year, arduous "upgrade and fight monsters" process.
"A lady living in the Upper East Side has another set of beliefs, ambitions and ways of doing things that are different from ordinary people. At the beginning, I could never dream of how different this world was."
New York's Upper East Side is a magical land.
This is the top elite area in New York, and those who live here are either rich or noble. The life of children living in the East District of
is extraordinary from anybody's perspective.
is the first place to live.
The mother here will also experience the reading public or private, and whether to buy a school district house . What's more, the best public school districts in the Upper East District are very popular. In order to get the home you like, you must first rely on various relationships to find the best agent that rewards you with three points (yes, real estate agents are also divided into three or six in New York). Only when you have an agent who wears Chanel in full body can you be qualified to view houses in .
If you want to buy a cheaper apartment, you must also pass the level interview of the community home committee. The application form is complex and exhaustive, including each of your credit card numbers, your GPA in college, and the school where your parents graduated.
These application materials were explained to the end and were exhausted, probably only the number of love between husband and wife every week was not reported. Compared with the elite community awareness in the United States in , China is relatively extensive. At least the rich can buy it by spending a lot of money on school district housing. Unlike New York, it has to go through various interviews between community committees and owners before buying a house.
Then admission.
Although the author successfully bought a school district house, he almost couldn't go to kindergarten. The supply of kindergartens in the Upper East District is far less than that of , and there are no new enrollment quotas every year, making it a stock market. Basically, every company needs to queue up one year in advance for interviews.
The eldest of the author is a boy born in July.After she moved into the Upper East Side, she called the school and found that also discriminated against gender and month of birth. In the same case, kindergartens prefer children in older months, and boys develop later than girls.
So in the Upper East Side, there is a saying of wrong birthday. for pregnancy must be followed by the Upper East District standard to avoid giving birth to a baby that is wrong for one month. This is similar to ours. Many mothers in China want to give birth to their children before September, so at the end of August, many mothers with similar expected dates are willing to give birth to their children in advance to avoid entering school one year later and accidentally become the largest student in the class.
After a long wait and failed interviews, the author finally asked for a note like us. Using her relationship with her husband and sister, she finally got to know her husband and sister's children's energetic director who holds great power in school. Then needless to say, foreigners are the same as us, and her child successfully entered this famous private school.
3
The baby finally went to school, and then Playdate, which is to find someone to play on the weekend.
This is also a big deal in the Upper East Side. It is obviously a normal social life that the child plays on the grass by himself, which is not accepted by the mothers in the Upper East Side. is invited to playdate for certain families. It is an important sign to test whether you have successfully entered the local community.
The author was completely unable to see any presence in his son's school for a long time. Every time he picked up and dropped off, all the mothers turned a blind eye to her. She wrote many invitation letters to her classmates and parents in her son's class, and they were all over the place. Every day, she tries to dress herself as fashionable and exquisite as other mothers, and attempts to chat, but she is very cold-eyed.
class is invisible, but omnipresent and no one can escape.
Finally, she was at a loss and unexpectedly met a famous fund boss through a chat, and was also a parent in her son's class, and was invited to a party at his house. From then on, her son's social fate was rewritten , and parents came to take the initiative to invite him every week, and there were endless streams.
So you see, the plot of Mary Sue still has a market, and the plot of the turnaround of such a novice heroine, the fake hand of the white knight, has been tried and tested. How do you truly integrate into the Upper East District Mom Group?
Answer: The iconic event was to buy an Hermes platinum bag . There is no way to establish identity in the mom group faster than hanging a platinum bag on your hand. After all, platinum bags represent wealth and connections in this secular world (people who have no relationship can only be on the list of stocking customers indefinitely).
methodology is good, but it is not easy to buy this platinum bag in practice. So, the author who quits his opposition to luxury began his journey of finding a bag. Hermès also needs to be distributed in New York. Even if she asks someone, she can't buy the ideal 35cm black model. In the end, her husband bought her a gold model on a business trip in Japan.
At this point, the image of an elite mommy in the Upper East District has been developed. After her second child, she started to exercise crazy, Physique 57 (a high-consumption yoga studio located in New York, providing various yoga and fitness classes) or SoulCycle (a famous fitness studio brand that mainly provides indoor bicycle fitness programs), like every Upper East District mother, can give birth to children and show off her figure.
abides by the rules of pregnancy in the Upper East District, and even if you are pregnant, you must look like you are not pregnant, control your figure and recover quickly.
How much does a woman in the Upper East Side have to make financial contributions to maintain her decent beauty after becoming a mother?
This is their annual list:
hair (scrub, cut, blow dye, plus the need for styling from time to time, scalp care)-$ 12K
Face (quarterly water and light needles, monthly exfoliation, face, repair, cosmetics, skin care products) - $16K
Body (course, personal training, nutritionist, detoxification, nails, massage, spa) - $30K
Wardrobe (regular seasonal clothes, important event dresses, vacation clothes, shoes, bags, accessories) - $33K
......
total about 9.5w US dollars!
5
, the group of ambitious mothers, on the other hand, is the extreme anxiety of .
They live in elite communities, send their children to the best private schools, use the best reputation of nannies and helpers, and actively manage their appearance... These things that should bring confidence and calmness make people more and more anxious.
The higher the class, the more people may have, and at the same time, more choices in are often the source of anxiety. They are under tremendous pressure to not take a wrong step. must be a perfect mother, a perfect social object, a perfect clothes rack, and a perfect sexy woman.
For perfection, they bet on countless time and energy, and many people are on the verge of collapse.
To combat the pressure, some of them took a private jet to Las Vegas , St. Barths or Paris to "relax".
Some people spend a lot of money and buy without blinking an eye. For them, spending $10,000 in Bergdorf Goodman (a luxury department store on Fifth Avenue, Manhattan, New York City) or Barneys (a famous high-end department store chain) in one day is nothing.
But they often take antidepressants in the middle of the night, drink to relieve their worries, worry about whether their husbands will cheat, how to live after divorce, which school should their children go to, how can they lose their weight faster, why haven’t they conceived yet, why did they have a miscarriage this time...
You see, there is really no difference in the anxiety of mothers all over the world.
6
Author Winisty initially just wanted to integrate into the Upper East Side Mommy, but she didn't want to fall into their anxiety and madness.
She thought she could remain neutral and rational, but like anthropologists around the world, she ended up " entering the country with customs" and became exactly the same as the locals.
Once the researchers enter the country and follow the customs, they will lose their original objective position, and begins to identify with the object of their research.
The people she met at first are all full of superiority, but later found that as long as a woman with children, no matter which district of the city or which corner of the world, everyone actually has a lot in common.
The mothers in the upper East Side are the same as mothers in the world. hope that their children will be healthy and happy, and also hope that they will feel loved, grow up well, and achieve a career.
But the similarities between them are only there.
If you didn’t grow up in Manhattan, you would feel that the life of children in the Upper East Side is different from that of ordinary people.
You will feel that everything is illogical, nothing is natural, nothing can be judged by common sense.
Vinistie suffered a lot before she learned that the mother of the Upper East Side was not made in one day.
The strength and fragility of being a mother may be infinitely amplified in the perfectionist atmosphere of on the East Side . The highly competitive environment makes every mother nervous and frequently reflect on whether she has done enough. But the Upper East District seems to represent a highest standard.
Although the author returned to the more casual Upper West Side because of the children's transition in middle school, she missed the always meticulous attitude of in the Upper East Side, extraordinary planning, and everything she tried hard to do even though she knew it was impossible... This is simply a picture book of the elite New York mothers.
Finally, as a text worker, she found that one of her arms was gradually numb and unable to type. After diagnosis, the most likely speculation was that resolutely gave up this identity symbol when she used an overweight platinum bag stuffed with things for a long time.
Everything has a price.
But the price of being a mother is often something you can only feel afterwards.
This is the story of being a mother in the mini area on the mini island and the various inspirations this place brings.
The content of this article is compiled from Wei Xiaohe, "Shangdong's mother needs a Birkin bag, but what are the differences between us? 》 and "I am a mother, I need a platinum bag"
related books recommended
"I am a mother, I need a platinum bag"
[US] Winisty Martin Written by | 2018.12
Book purchase details, please click "Book Cover"
How much does the elite mother in New York work together? The school district housing and the battle to choose a school are just small starting points. A popular annual topic book across the United States. Regarding parenting anxiety and midlife crisis, mothers all over the world face the same problems.
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