has such a documentary. It took CCTV 10 years to produce and 2 years to produce, and only 90 minutes of 3 episodes;
has such a documentary that allows the University High School to suspend classes for half a day, just for students and parents to watch it together;
This documentary, called "Mirror", tells the story of the mirror between children and parents;
We often say, "Using the ancients as mirrors can tell the rise and fall; using people as mirrors can tell the gains and losses."
Children are the mirrors of parents, and from the children, you can see what kind of people are.
When something goes wrong with the child, the root cause may lie with the parents.
Children are the mirror of parents
documentary "Mirror", there are 3 typical "problem" teenagers.
15-year-old Jiaming, who is addicted to the Internet and does not want to go to school, always lives a life of black and white;
17-year-old Zhang Zhao dropped out of school because of early love, and he locked the door of his home, just to prevent his parents from going home;
14-year-old Zeqing is devoted to playing chess online, being rude and indifferent to his family, calling his mother a lowly person, and even hit her.
These children were sent to an educational institution for 81 days of renovation, and parents also had to participate in the 6-day parent class.
At this point, Dou Ma thought this was just a "metamorphosis" of the child who had a problem, but she did not expect that the parents of these children were really needed to be transformed.
In the interview, the questioning boy Zeqing said that the parent class is actually more important. The one who needs to stay for 81 days should be the parents, and he may only need to transform it for 6 days.
From a family perspective, Zeqing, who is just in the second grade of junior high school, should not be a problem boy. His grandparents are college professors and their parents also have decent jobs.
But Zeqing is addicted to playing chess on the Internet. His mother cares about him, but he often says that his mother is "stinky";
The mother delivers him food and food, and may also step on his tail, causing him to hit his mother desperately, pulling his hair, grabbing his nails, or even using a knife.
All these abnormal behaviors can be found in Zeqing's parents. Zeqing himself said: My mother is irritable, and she will be right in the end. When my father and she can't solve it, she will use violence.
Even when Zeqing was imitating his father to abuse his mother, his father lay on the side, closed his eyes and ignored anything.
Zeqing is like a mirror. He is bored with his mother's irritability and nagging, and his rough attitude and behavior towards his mother all come from his parents.
Although Zeqing hates this family relationship in his heart, he is just a child and invisibly agrees with this practice.
Therefore, the problems shown in Zeqing are rooted in the problems between parents.
As the documentary says, "Children are a mirror of the family." Behind the children's problems, the problems of family education model can reflect.
When parents need to reflect and learn
When a lawyer, you need a license and drive a driver's license. But when a parent doesn't need to get any proof, it is a lifelong job, and you don't even realize that being a parent also needs to learn.
For example, a parent in the film, obviously his child's problem is already very serious, but he is unwilling to attend the 6-day parent class and refuses in every way.
The principal told him seriously that if the parents don’t go, the child’s situation will be even worse;
He laughed and responded: It’s too exaggerated, I don’t believe it at all, it’s impossible…
Parents are not born to be parents. Only by constantly learning in the process of raising children can the problems that arise in their children.
In this documentary, it reveals several common problems for parents and must reflect on them.
1. Don’t know how to communicate with children
Many children are willing to tell their parents everything when they are young, but when they grow up, they are not willing to say anything. This problem may be due to the fact that their parents do not understand communication. Zhang Zhao in
film dropped out of school. The teacher asked Zhang Zhao's father why the child was unwilling to go to school?
The father replied, because the child fell in love early.
But Zhang Zhao's answer is that he doesn't want to study, but the pain of study and the depression of school make him unable to bear it.
When Zhang Zhao told his parents that he was under great pressure to study, he received a response that "so many people in the school can bear it, why can't you bear it?"
The words of parents denying and questioning will only pour cold water on their children, so that they no longer want to communicate and talk. If there is a problem with the parent-child relationship, the children are more likely to go astray.
As parents, you must think more about your child’s feelings, think from the perspective of others, and communicate with your child with emotions. This is good for both parties.
2. Control everything about children
Parents have experienced a lot, thinking that they know the good or bad of everything, and want to impose their standards on their children, thinking that it would be fine.
For example, Jiaming's father lived a hard life when he was young. He never wore leather shoes before going to college and drank milk. After that, he worked hard to achieve what he has today.
Therefore, he believed that only hardships and study are the only correct way. He imposes his ideas on his children. No matter what the children do, he must have his consent.
Jia Ming wanted to ride a bike to a farther place, but before he finished speaking, he was rejected; Jia Ming wanted to raise a cat, but after taking it home, he turned around and was thrown out.
Raising a completely obedient child is indeed worry-free, but what is the difference between this and a puppet?
Dad has forgotten that he is raising a person, not a machine. People have their own opinions and ideas and cannot be controlled.
Accepting the child's "out of control" and guiding "silently moisturize things" from the beginning is the best way for parents to educate them.
Children are just a mirror, reflecting the parents' educational methods. When there is a problem with the child, parents should not rush to blame the child. It is also appropriate to reflect on their own mistakes.
There are no perfect parents in the world, but as long as you keep reflecting and learning, you can give your children a better environment for growth, which is the most precious thing.
