Wedge
His smile is as gorgeous as fireworks, time falls into a sea of flowers, and in my dream is my former boy.
1. He deserves a better scenery, and I am not his redemption
The night when I said goodbye to Zhong Wenxuan, the weather forecast said that the cold current was coming and the temperature had reached sub-zero.
I stood on the cold street of Li Rong Street, sniffing, looking at him blankly for a while like a fool, and suddenly I laughed.
He seemed surprised why I had such an expression. He thought I was sick again, and his eyes were filled with panic, as if he was about to call 120 the next second.
Until I said the first sentence of that night to him, his mood changed from panic to disbelief.
I said, "Zhong Wenxuan, I don't hate you because I no longer love you. I'm leaving, I'm going to find my own life. I've lived for half my life and always lived in the shadow of others. Do you think I'm sad?"
His eyes showed my familiar heartache again, but this time, I was no longer soft-hearted. I stopped the comfort he was about to blurt out and smiled palely, "Wenxuan, I'm leaving, don't tell Yibei. His life deserves a better scenery, and I am not his redemption."
2. I was born not blessed, but I was given a mission of redemption.
I always feel that my life has not been blessed from the beginning, like a curse that is disliked by others.
I am not the crystallization of my parents' love. They gave birth to me and raised me entirely because of another person - Yibei, my brother who is five years older than me.
Many years ago, large patches of purple bruises began to appear on his back, which medically calls "purpura". Finally one day, he fainted while playing on the slide with a child in kindergarten. On the third day after being sent to the hospital, the doctor gave a diagnosis, leukemia.
For a pair of parents who are still immersed in the joy of their son's growth, this is undoubtedly a bolt from the blue.
They did not want to give up their son, so they made an important decision, to have a second child, and use the cord blood of their second child to save the life of their beloved son.
So, I was born, an unpopular life but was given redemptional meaning - Inan.
Mom gave birth to me when she was thirty-six. So I once thought that even if my birth was not blessed, it was just to prolong another person's life, at least, I am also their child and deserve to be treated as a caring little cotton jacket by my parents.
However, their attitude towards me really made me doubt whether I was my biological child. Apart from my food and drink, I am like a wild child. I was injured when I went out to fight with people, and they were too lazy to give me a caring look.
Only Yibei would hand me a band-aid rudely and said impatiently: "Don't go out and run around in the future. You should look like a girl, otherwise your parents will be unhappy."
My eyes were stubborn, "Will they care about my life or death? You should love me very much when you are old, right? Why can't I feel that they love me?"
This question seems to be difficult for Yibei. He thought for a long time, and it took him a long time to go. I thought he was distracted, so he slowly spoke, "Yinan, our family prefers boys over girls. My parents treat you like this, maybe because... you are a girl."
Yibei used the decadent concept of "favoring boys over girls" to dispel my suspicion, but until one day, I heard the conversation between my uncle and aunt next door, and realized that they were not liked me, but because no parents were willing to welcome the arrival of a new life with a sad mood. In fact, they feel even more distressed.
Maybe it's because I'm born with a little inferiority. My classmates don't like me very much. They say I'm a weird person and I'm cold all day long, as if someone owes me millions.
Only a small number of senior girls will show kindness to me, but they "drunk man's intention is not to drink." Every time they chat with me, they will secretly send me a letter, saying, "Yinan, I heard that the school grass of No. 24 Middle School is your brother, please help me give this to him."
I nodded and agreed, but the letters turned into white butterflies on the way home, and they all spread all over the sky.
Once Yi Bei came to pick me up and saw a girl talking to me. He said sarcastically: "Oh, I didn't expect you to have a bitter face every day, and someone is willing to make friends with you!" What
answered him was a pink "love letter" stuffed into his hand, and there was a big peach heart on the envelope.
Yi Bei's expression instantly seemed to have eaten shit. He threw the envelope aside viciously and said, "From me away from those girls in the future, and dare to make these messy things for me. Let me not beat you up!"
I rolled my eyes in my heart. Do you still dare to hit your "life-savior"?
But I swallowed all these words, just watched coldly and watched them clown jumping.
I thought my dull youth would pass by in this lonely and hurried way, until I met Zhong Wenxuan, Yibei's classmate.
3. I was crazy about Yibei’s classmates
The first time I met Zhong Wenxuan was on the terrace of the high school teaching building of the 24 Middle School.
That day, Yibei did not go home for dinner. My mother asked me to come to school to find him. When I went to their classroom, I found out that he had gone to the roof.
The sun sets, two teenagers in white shirts lie on the railings, and the afterglow shines on his broad backbone, emitting a hazy halo.
I recognized his back at a glance and shouted while running: "Brother, I finally found you. What are you doing here?"
When they turned their heads at the same time, I saw the fire that had not yet extinguished at Yibei's fingertips.
Yi Bei frowned, as if he was dissatisfied with my sudden disturbance, but for the sake of face, he did not yell at me as before, but just said lightly: "It was my mother who asked you to come, right? I told her that I didn't go home for dinner, why is she so troublesome!"
I felt a little a little awkward, who made you her most precious and beloved son?
But I didn't say this.
Maybe I saw something wrong with my expression. The boy standing next to Yibei suddenly spoke, "Yibei, is this your sister?"
Yibei nodded impatiently.
The boy walked up to me a few steps and smiled, "Your name is Inan, right?"
His figure blocked the sunset behind him, and I looked up at him, as if I were looking up at a god.
He is really tall, at least 1.85 meters tall, but he is so simple that he is wearing it like a VOUGE brand. He looked so charming when he smiled, with his brow bones protruding and his nose bridge stiff, as if he had European and American ancestry.
Finally, Yi Bei couldn't stand my ill-gotten look, so he walked quickly and dragged me out, saying, "Then, Wenxuan, I'll leave first. I helped me take a leave for evening self-study and said I was sick, thank you."
That day, at the age of thirteen, I learned that the good-looking boy was Zhong Wenxuan.
It was also that day that I heard my girl’s heartbeat, one by one, like a firework exploded in the sky, and my heart beat.
So, since then, I found all reasons to run to 24, today I gave Yibei a large lunch box, and tomorrow I got Yibei a coat. Each time I met, I could see Zhong Wenxuan, the boy in white in my dream.
During that time, because I gave me a gift from flowers to Buddha, Yibei's attitude towards me gradually changed, and Zhong Wenxuan gradually became familiar with me. However, one day, I couldn't find Yibei and asked Zhong Wenxuan, but he didn't know where Yibei was going.
That night, I waited on the playground of No. 24 for three hours until the night was getting darker and the bell for evening self-study rang, and he still didn't come back. And Zhong Wenxuan accompanied me like this, waiting for Yibei to come back.
In the end, it was my parents who found me and Zhong Wenxuan through my teacher. At the same time, they also brought bad news.
Yibei is in the police station.
I met Yibei at the police station, and it was almost early morning. He looked haggard and his whole body exuded a sense of decadence.
I was about to walk over to talk to him, but a man from behind me pulled up his collar, punched Yibei hard in the face.
I stood there in a scream in surprise. It was too sudden and my mind was blank.
Finally, several police officers grabbed Zhong Wenxuan, who was on the verge of madness. His eyes were blood red, and his whole face was full of twists and collapses. He yelled at Yi Bei: "I want to kill you, I want to kill you!"
I stared blankly at the gentle and jade-like boy in my impression that he turned into another appearance.
Until the next day, I knew that that night, just as Zhong Wenxuan and I were sitting on the playground waiting for Yibei, Zhong Wenxuan's girlfriend Yu Yajie died. Before the incident, someone saw Yibei follow Yu Yajie out of the campus.
, although he called the police, there was no proof of his absence.
4. Girlish feelings are always sweet and shy
Time is like a gear, turning around in circles, but always moving forward and never retreating.
Three years ago, the case of a female student who died outside the school became a taboo for all teachers and students in the school. For a long time, everyone was immersed in grief, including Zhong Wenxuan, Yi Bei and I.
Zhong Wenxuan was sad because of his loss of his loved ones, Yi Bei was sad because this incident made his parents' face dark, and why was my sad? Perhaps, it was because of Zhong Wenxuan's grief.
Yibei recorded his confession in the police station, and the police released him back.
I actually believe he is innocent, because one day I heard his murmuring, and he said, "Yajie, I'm sorry, I'm late. If you get earlier, you won't have any trouble... It's all my fault, it's all my fault..."
But such words became a quibble in Zhong Wenxuan's ears.
He looked at me coldly, his cold expression was scary. He said, "Yinan, don't cover up your brother anymore! I knew before that he liked Yajie, but he didn't love her, so he wanted to possess her. Isn't this a reason for crime?"
I can't tell him, and maybe, I never dare to refute him.
Seeing that I didn't say anything, he suddenly sighed, "Forget it, Yinan, these things have nothing to do with you, and you shouldn't be involved in it. You don't have to worry about me, I know Yibei is innocent, I just felt too uncomfortable and talk nonsense just now. Don't worry, I will definitely find out the truth."
Because of Yu Yajie's death, Yibei and Zhong Wenxuan had a rift. Even if Zhong Wenxuan thinks Yibei is innocent, no one can think of such a thing as if nothing has happened.
At the end of July, both of them received admission letters from the best 915 universities in the city, but their hearts were already in the dark and the other was in the north.
And I finally got into the high school they had attended. To put it bluntly, I just had some selfishness, wanting to see the scenery someone had seen and walk the road someone had walked.
My relationship with Yibei is still neither salty nor weak, but fortunately, after experiencing that incident, he became much more restrained, and of course, he became more and more profound.
He will not show me his face again, nor will he rape me at will, but I gradually can't understand him.
In his calm eyes, there seemed to be a surging sea hidden deep in his turbulent eyes.
However, what makes me happy is that Zhong Wenxuan comes to me more and more frequently.
is probably because his university is close to 24 Middle School. When he is not busy, he will ride a bike to see me, ask me about my recent study, or give me some tutoring lessons.
Sometimes he would invite me to watch him play basketball. In the sun, he walked as fast as he could, and a handsome three-pointer caused the girls to scream.
A girl blushed and went to deliver water to him. He smiled and thanked him, but his eyes turned to me in the stands.
I looked at him at a loss. He still smiled faintly and didn't speak, but his smile was even warmer than the spring breeze.
That night, he rode my bike to take me home. I sat carefully in his back seat, my body tight, and I didn't know whether to grab the seat or gently wrap my arms around his waist.
Finally, I grabbed the seat tightly. I was afraid that if I accidentally touched him, he would feel my heartbeat like a deer.
The girl's feelings are always so sweet and shy.
The street lights downstairs of the community are particularly bright. Zhong Wenxuan looked at me who looked down without saying a word but was flushed with his face, and suddenly bent down.
I only felt a warm feeling on my forehead. Before I could react, he had already stood up.
I raised my head and saw Yi Bei with deep eyes and solemn expression behind him.
5. I hate Yibei, I want to escape from this home
I forgot how I followed Yibei home that day.
is probably guilty. The road I have walked many times in the community, but that night seemed particularly long.
What I was worried about did not happen. Yibei did not tell his parents. He just pulled me into the house and taught me like an elder, to study hard and not to think randomly.
I stuck out my tongue and nodded quickly, glad that this matter was over.
However, this is just the beginning.
A week before Christmas, I received a courier, opened it, and it was a concert ticket for the German Hamburg NDR Symphony Orchestra, and the performance was Christmas Eve.
I was surprised to see the performance list. There are many songs I like, but I don’t know who knows my feelings so much.
Until school was over, the answer to this mystery was finally revealed. I saw Zhong Wenxuan leaning against the bicycle and fiddling with his mobile phone. His expression was calm and his eyebrows were as quiet as a picture.
I jumped and ran towards him, wanting to sneak attack from behind, but he suddenly looked back at me and said with a smile, "Do you like my gift?"
said, taking out another concert ticket.
My girlish heart is like a water grass sucked into the whirlpool, swaying softly and sinking to the bottom of the water, and it can no longer float.
But I was going to watch the concert with Zhong Wenxuan, and I was soon discovered by Yibei.
He didn't know what he was crazy about, and suddenly he wanted to check my schoolbag and drawer. The more I blocked him, the more he suspected that I had something to hide from him. During the argument, the concert ticket dropped out.
Yi Bei squatted on the ground and looked at the ticket. After a while, he suddenly said softly, Nannan, don’t get too close to Wenxuan. A person like him will not stay for you, a little girl, for too long, and the one who is injured in the end is...
Who is he? Before Yibei was finished speaking, she was interrupted by my cold voice. I only knew that he was the person I like! He is kind to me, cares about me, and knows what I want, how could he hurt me!
You are only sixteen years old and don’t understand many things. Wenxuan, he has been frustrated that relationship and has been unable to get out of the shadow for a long time, and he is five years older than you, he will not be sincere...
, he can’t get out of the way, so I will accompany him until he comes out! Brother, are you my brother? You can't tell that I like him. You know that I will be happy only when I am with him, but why do you deprive me of the right to like someone!
At that time, I didn’t understand the deep helplessness and sigh in Yi Bei’s eyes. I only knew that he didn't want me to be with Zhong Wenxuan, so I fought hard and wanted to be incompatible with his love that I was proud of.
When Yibei tore off the ticket in front of me, I rushed over and snatched it like crazy. He accidentally pushed me while dodging. I staggered and fell to the ground. The moment my head hit the corner of the wall, tears fell without warning.
I sat on the ground and cried and shouted at him, "Which brother wouldn't want his sister to be good!" You just feel guilty and feel sorry for Wenxuan, so you object to us together so much! Yibei, you are not my brother at all, I hate you!
At that moment, I saw the light in his eyes shattered instantly. He looked at me pale, trying to explain, but his mouth opened, but closed it again.
Yibei is a very stubborn person. Even ten cows can't pull back what he believes.
In order not to let me see Zhong Wenxuan, during the evening study on Christmas Eve that night, he asked for leave for me and the teacher, picked me up and locked me in the house.
My parents felt strange and asked why, and he explained lightly, Nannan felt uncomfortable, so I picked her up.
I sat in the dark room in a daze. The twilight outside the window was twilight. I seemed to see the prelude of the symphony orchestra performance slowly opened, and dozens of elegant men and women wearing black evening gowns played quietly.
I stood at the window and suddenly saw a familiar figure. He stood in the twilight, his smile as warm as a little drunk, and it was overwhelming towards me.
pondered for a few seconds, and I made an important decision: I must go to see him! For love, I have made my best efforts!
I am very lucky. My parents and Yibei are in the inner room, and I didn’t hear the sound of me prying the door. With a nervous mood, I "escaped" from home and ran towards my prince charming.
His arms were wide open to me, and his face still had a smile that made me warm. The moment I threw myself into his arms, I saw the helplessness and emotion of a man for the first time.
That night, because my ticket was destroyed, Zhong Wenxuan and I did not go to the concert.
We blew the night wind by the sea all night. He wrapped me tightly in his coat, unable to hear the joys and sorrows in his emotions. He said, Inan, I have never seen a girl as brave as you.
I remember that the moon was particularly round and bright that long after, when I was isolated in that small ward, I still missed that beautiful and gentle night.
is worth this night and will never be forgotten.
6. I have been living in a deception.
The next morning, I entered the house with my parents' surprised eyes. They cared about me for the first time and asked me what I had done so early. I said, morning exercise.
crossed Yibei, and I saw his tightly clenched fist, his nails seemed to be trying to cleave into his palm, but in the end, he said nothing.
The quarrel of the first day seemed to have been chosen by us. But Yibei, since that day, he seemed to have changed a different person and could not see anyone on weekends.
One day in the middle of the night, Yibei was sent back by a group of friends. His father was furious, while his mother just sat aside and cried silently.
One day not long after, I accidentally heard my mother say to him, Xiaobei, mom doesn’t know what happened recently, and it made you like this... But don’t you know how you got your life back? How can you be worthy of Nannan when you always practice your body like this?
I stood outside the door, listening to this conversation that seemed to be nothing to do with me, and my heart was silent.
I went to find Zhong Wenxuan and told him what happened. At first he was just surprised, but later, his expression became more and more confused.
That was the first time I saw the man in front of me looking at me with such a complex and sad look, as if he wanted to see through my soul and into my bones. But at that time, I was ignorant and could not understand the meaning in his eyes.
I only know that he pity me, feels sorry for me, and is filled with affection.
He gently hugged me into his arms and let me lean against his chest and listen to his heartbeat.
He said, Nannan, in the future, if I am with you, you will no longer be lonely.
I seemed to fall into an extremely beautiful and gorgeous dream. Some people love and some people accompany them.
Just, the dream is too beautiful and easy to break.
The culprit of this dream came from a diary, which was placed in Zhong Wenxuan's bedroom bookcase, and he had written a diary for three years.
Every time he meets me, he will write it down clearly. However, the traces left by the black water pen are not the sweet and warmth we get along with, but the hatred, the deep and unwashable hatred.
"On July 20, 2009, I invited her to school to watch me play basketball for the first time, and her eyes were filled with joy and admiration. For such a simple and innocent little girl, I could just move her fingers to make her bow to me. But this is really not what I want, because the good show has just begun."
"On March 4, 2010, the little girl dysmenorrhea, I brewed her a glass of brown sugar water and rubbed her belly, and she was moved to tears. I heard that her family didn't care much about her, so it was no wonder she relied on me so much.Although Yibei cares about her, she probably will never understand his good intentions with his poker face. Well, at the end of the game, the deeper she was injured, the more painful Yibei would be. Yibei was in pain, and I was happy. "
" On December 24, 2010, I blew the sea breeze with her all night, and the little girl seemed to like this kind of romance anytime and anywhere. However, I really felt a little sad for her, this stubborn girl. Alas, should I go ahead with the plan? The clues about Yajie are almost found. If I give up Yinan at this time, what is the point of this game? Revenge Yibei will lack an important bargaining chip, right? "
...
The last article, as of December 24, 2010. I don't know why he didn't continue writing, and I don't want to know.
When I saw Zhong Wenxuan's panicked eyes and saw him standing in a panic but did not dare to take the diary in my hand, I understood everything.
I asked him, "You didn't say, you believe me." Is Bei innocent?
He smiled pale, and there was a moment of aging sadness in his smile. He said, Nannan, you don’t understand. Sometimes, if a person becomes persistent, he will be so crazy that he doesn’t even know himself. I apologize to you now and ask for your forgiveness, is it still too late?
I laugh too, Zhong Wenxuan, if a person builds a perfect world for you, he tells you that this is heaven. You are immersed in the joy of happiness , Suddenly one day, he poked through the protective film he woven, and the perfect world disappeared, and you found that you have been in hell, surrounded by evil ghosts and evil spirits.
At this time, the person appeared again, telling you that he had made a mistake on a whim and had made an unintentional mistake. Now ask for your understanding, but you have been taken away by the evil ghost. Do you think you still have the strength to forgive him?
7. I really didn't mean to make a fuss I committed suicide
I became an extremely quiet girl overnight. It’s not that I have to deliberately make myself so deep, but I really don’t want to speak anymore.
I started to be distracted for a long time, dazed, sleeping in class during the day, but couldn’t sleep at night.
I don’t know when I started to become sentimental, sad, sad, and cry inexplicably when I saw a flower withering. The sun sets in the west and cries, and the moon rises in the sky. My abnormal emotions lasted for a short time, were finally noticed by Yibei.
Because he discovered a serious problem.
My mental state was in a serious trance and even began to have hallucinations.
Early the next morning, I was taken to the hospital by Yibei. The doctor said that I was depression, due to excessive stress or sudden stimulation.
For a moment, I seemed to see the awareness, self-blame and anger in his eyes.
However, soon, he calmed down and said, Nannan, my brother is here to accompany you. We forget all the unhappiness and start a new life.
But the day after he said this, I fell down the stairs.
Actually, I was not trying to make trouble on purpose What a suicide, it was just in a trance. I seemed to hear someone calling me behind me. When I turned around, my feet were empty, so I rolled down.
8. It turns out that my fate is worse than I thought.
I stayed in the hospital for half a month. During that period, I was always groggy, but the one who was by my side was not my parents, but Yibei who asked for leave from the school.
My parents have come to see me several times, and most of the time I sigh. Their sigh made me feel much more intimate. This is the reaction that normal parents should have, not as cold as usual.
Zhong Wenxuan seems to have come to see me once, but was blocked by Yi Bei.
I vaguely heard their conversation, and Zhong Wenxuan's tone sounded quite sincere. He said, Yi Bei, I was too paranoid before, and I blamed you for wrongly.The murderer who killed Yajie has been caught. He is a rich second generation. He liked Yajie back then and even provoked me. I didn't take it seriously at that time. I didn't expect...
Yibei, thank you for the case reported that year. I wronged you for so many years. Thinking about it, I feel that I am really not a thing! Today I came here just to see Nannan and say "I'm sorry" to her. It's all my will, it's all me...
Yibei didn't take his words, so no need, you go, the farther away from Nannan, the better. From now on, I don't want to see you again.
...
When Zhong Wenxuan left, Yi Bei suddenly called him and said, "By the way, Wenxuan, do you know?"
Then Yi Bei told me the secret hidden in me, and I realized that I had been deceived by my whole family for more than 20 years. (The name of the novel: "I can't finish a dream of flowers blooming and falling", author: Hazelnut shell. From: Read some stories every day APP, [Public account: dudiangushi2018] to see more exciting content)
