35-year-old Zhang Chen graduated with a master's degree. Her world has been without day and night, light and color for 22 years.
Previously, she was admitted to the 2020-level master's degree in subject teaching (music) at the School of Music of Anqing Normal University with the first place in her major in both the preliminary and re-examinations. She became the first visually impaired graduate student in Anhui Province to pass the national graduate admissions examination. At the same time He is also the first visually impaired graduate student in the country majoring in vocal music teaching.
The two years have been more like an "interlude" for Zhang Chen. Before that, she was a music teacher at , Anqing Special Education School. After graduation, she will return there again with better teaching concepts, updated teaching methods, and the country's first master's degree in vocal music for the visually impaired.
For her, the meaning of this diploma is far more than a certificate or a master's degree. It is an ideal, a struggle, and a stone paving the way. She hopes students know that visually impaired people are not limited to learning massage , nor can they only attend special schools, nor are they limited to a bachelor's degree. They can break out of their own limitations and society's perspective and strive for a better future for themselves.
html On June 16, at the graduate graduation ceremony, Zhang Chen took a group photo with his parents and husband. Picture provided by the interviewee The following is Zhang Chen's self-report:
"Looking" in another way
The two roles of "student" and "teacher" are intertwined with each other in my life, and they also serve as footnotes to each other.
When I came to Anqing Special Education School at the age of 13, I was experiencing the first "big earthquake" in my life. I have had amblyopia since I was a child, and my visual acuity is only about 0.3, but I can still write and read. One day when I was in the sixth grade of elementary school, my retina detached due to congestion under my eyes. Walking on the way to school, my vision suddenly became blurry, as if there was a heavy fog, and only an outline of the people and objects in front of me remained. This lasted for three days, and even the outline was gone.
The first thing I thought about was not what I would do with my future life, but how my parents would be able to bear it if they knew about it. I tried to hide it from them, but as soon as I got home that night, they found out immediately and wanted to take me to Shanghai for surgery. We flew there and found the best hospital and best doctor in the country at that time. But the operation was unsuccessful. The retina was attached, but my vision did not recover at all. I also lost my sense of light and could no longer distinguish between day and night.
I was originally a very lively child, but suddenly, I felt like my hands and feet were tied and I couldn't go anywhere. To go anywhere or do anything, you must ask for help. I started to get scared and had a feeling that there was no way out in life.
At that time, the only special education school in the city, I met my later head teacher. This class teacher had a great influence on me. I remember one detail. He never said "touch the book", but "read the book". Maybe even he himself didn't realize the difference, but for me, it was indescribable. I felt like I was blind at the time, and I had no connection with the word "see" ever since. But what he has always conveyed to us is this concept: "You are just watching in a different form, watching in a different medium."
Another thing that changed my life is music. I have loved music since I was a child and have a special sense of music. My parents later said that when I was a child, I was a very noisy child and could not be coaxed, but as soon as music was played, I became quiet. When I was more than a year old, I started to imitate singing. It is said that the tone and rhythm of the imitation were very accurate.
When I first lost my sight, I was very irritable every day. Once I accidentally heard Debussy's "Moonlight", which was like a gentle hand, calming me down immediately. At that time, there were no music teachers in special education schools, so I regularly went to the provincial capital to study music. Once every two weeks, it takes 4 hours to take the bus from Anqing to Hefei, and the round trip is 8 hours.
I am happy inside, although learning piano has become difficult for me. From one note to another, I have to touch them one by one to find the feeling and distance between the notes.Others can play while reading the music score. I have to memorize the music score completely, find the relationship between each chord on the piano note by note, then put my two hands together and align the positions one by one. Only after this process is repeated countless times can a complete song be played.
While studying as a graduate student at the Conservatory of Music of Anqing Normal University, Zhang Chen exchanged music with teachers at the college. Picture provided by interviewee
My vocal music teacher also had a great influence on me.
She made me experience the "sense of color" brought by music. When I first met her, she was singing a song called "Teach Me How to Miss Her." I remember one line particularly clearly: "There are some light clouds floating in the sky, and some breeze blowing on the ground." When she sang this line, , it seems like there is really wind blowing in front of me, clouds are floating in the sky, and my hair is flying bit by bit. I realized that music can open another door for me.
After taking a few vocal lessons, I won the silver medal in the National Campus Singer Competition, competing with ordinary students. This gave me a lot of confidence. In 2002, before I finished my second grade of junior high school, the school's dean knew that I had a talent for music, so he told me that I could go to college in the future. The music major of Changchun University admitted students with disabilities. I went and didn't think I could pass the exam. I just gave it a try to see what the exam was about. The result was very unexpected. I passed the exam and ranked first in the country at that time.
"So this is equality"
After graduation, I returned to my alma mater, Anqing Special Education School, and became a music teacher.
Being visually impaired myself, I know what my students need. I know what expectations they have and what desires they have. Influenced by the vocal music teacher at that time, I think that the visually impaired have been closed to vision for a long time, but they have developed strong hearing and memory. My music class can focus on hearing, supplemented by other senses, and connect them to form a kind of synaesthesia , so that we can better experience the world through music.
Some students have never seen the world at all. They don't understand what color is. But sometimes, they will tell me: "This music makes me feel white." I ask, how do you feel it? He said: "You told me that white is pure and holy. I think this music feels like this." This gave me a big surprise.
Children's imagination is so rich. Some said that this piece of music reminded them of lollipops, and some said that the prelude of that song made them feel the green of grass and the crystal clear dew. Even if they don't become musicians in the future, at least they can feel the beauty in life. I think this is the most important thing. He can't see, but he can get some compensation from other places and know that the world is colorful.
Later, I discovered that there are many visually impaired children who like music. Not content with just taking music lessons, I formed an after-school choir. At the beginning, there were only seven classmates in the choir, seven girls. One day, a student sang "七色光". After singing, she suddenly said, there are seven colors of seven-color light, and each of us is one color. I say, there are seven notes in music, and each of you is also a note. "Colorful Spin", this is the name of our choir.
In the music classroom of Anqing Special Education School, Zhang Chen is giving music lessons to visually impaired students. Picture provided by the interviewee
Later, our choir continued to grow and began to participate in some activities. One year, a local choir competition was held, and after fighting for it, we also participated. The students were very excited and wanted to get good grades. At that time, apart from attending classes, they were almost always singing. Sing in the cafeteria, sing in the toilet, sing while running. They really did it, and they sang really well during the competition.
But what I didn’t expect was that our school would not report the scores when the scores were revealed at the end of the competition. After all schools received their awards, we received a special award.
The feeling at that moment is really hard to describe. I thought my students didn’t understand, but actually they all did.A very young child came to me and asked: "Teacher, what is the special award? Is it because we did not perform well?" Before I could answer, another student asked again: "Teacher, does it matter whether we sing well or not?" Okay, the result is the same, you can only get a special award? "
This question made me feel so heavy that I couldn't answer it. Then, the third child asked me: "Teacher, if this is the case, why do we still participate in the competition?"
I can understand them because I came here too. I have participated in various competitions since I was a child and won various awards. What I hate the most is this kind of "special award". What does this mean? I really can’t tell. I cannot deny the good intentions of the organizers, but what we need is not such good intentions. What we need is equal opportunities to participate.
I can only tell them, please believe me. If there is another competition like this next time, I promise you that there will be no special prizes, okay?
We spent a year preparing for the second competition. On the eve of the game, I found the relevant person in charge, hoping to score according to our original level. Whatever it is, the prize will be given out. Even if it is true that the singing is not good, there is no need for an award, but no special award is required, okay? They agreed.
We went to participate in the chorus competition again. This time, my students performed very well both in terms of emotional expression and technical aspects. They got the highest score in the audience and won the first prize. This is a great encouragement to them, because they know that hard work can be recognized and that this is equality.
On July 1, 2021, Zhang Chen played and sang the song "I Love You" at the original concert celebrating the 100th anniversary of the founding of the Party held at the Conservatory of Music of Anqing Normal University. Photo provided by the interviewee
Just like ordinary people, they pursue their dreams and fall in love
However, as a teacher, you will also encounter situations where you are powerless.
I have a student, a girl. She is very strong and wants to study music and then go to college. I taught her to play piano and vocal music. I told her, go study, there must be no harm in reading more. But one day, her parents came to me and yelled at me: "Who asked you to teach her music? What's the use of learning music? Can it be used as food?" They said, no matter what university they go to, as long as their daughter learns massage. , come out to make money as soon as possible, and then just find someone to marry.
I am a particularly incompetent person when it comes to dealing with these issues. I don't know how to deal with them at all, and I can't say anything. I'm thinking, am I really wrong? How should I guide these students? What is the essence of education? I let them learn more knowledge and have more opportunities to further their studies. Maybe in the eyes of many people, I am unrealistic because I can't make money.
But if the visually impaired have always been like this and have no other possibility except massage, I think it would be too sad. Where is our hope? But my heart tells me that there may be a lot of criticism and a lot of hurt, but it should still be done.
Fortunately, there is a follow-up to this story. Around 2019, this student's parents may have seen that their child was really persistent and were not so opposed to her learning music, and gradually acquiesced. She came back to me and continued to study music. Now, she is going to college and wants to major in music. She has more choices now than when I was in college.
In 2020, I have been working for 14 years. I found that my students all felt that for the visually impaired, undergraduate education was the limit, and they never thought about whether they could go further.
I wonder if I can be a pioneer and let them see greater possibilities in themselves. It was also during that period that I felt strongly that I seemed to be outputting all the time. I hope there will be systematic learning and improvement, so that we can bring better teaching concepts and updated teaching methods to students.
In recent years, we have also seen that the institutional environment has improved. According to the white paper "Equality, Participation, Sharing: 70 Years of Protection of Rights and Interests of Disabled Persons in New China", in 2017, inclusive education was written into the "Regulations on the Education of Disabled Persons" for the first time.Documents such as " China Education Modernization 2035" and "Second Special Education Improvement Plan (2017-2020)" propose comprehensively promoting inclusive education and allowing those with disabilities to return to the mainstream and study with ordinary students. I can't be satisfied with staying in the "comfort zone" of special education. I want to jump out and take exams and go to graduate school with ordinary students.
Zhang Chen is reading braille music score. Picture provided by the interviewee
I was preparing for the exam while working. It was the hardest time at that time, and I was always "stitching in every opportunity" and making use of all the spare time. My alarm clock is set for 4:45, and I wake up around 5:00. I would wash up and listen to the political lectures, and then go to work. My home is very close to the school. I can go downstairs, turn a corner, and walk a few steps to the campus. I can go there by myself. After arriving at the office, usually around 5:30, I will study English for a while. At 7 o'clock, it is time to start preparing lessons.
Even the 10 minutes between classes are strictly planned, which can be used to memorize two words or read a question. The classroom where I teach is on the 5th floor, and my office is on the 2nd floor. During that time, I will review what I read in the morning. After buying food in the canteen at noon, I always listen to lectures and eat at the same time. After eating, I start studying professional courses.
At that time, I really wanted to have a whole block of time, and I was always afraid that things would not be completed. Especially in the sprint stage, study materials on political and current affairs are not available until ten days before the exam. I couldn't see, so my husband read the materials to me and recorded them on tape. I have to copy the information bit by bit in Braille before I can start reviewing. At that time, I was always very anxious, not knowing whether I could finish studying.
This road was very difficult, but fortunately, I passed the exam in the end. I chose the vocal music major because I thought of that teacher. Years later, I still clearly remember that day, how I felt the flow of colors from music for the first time, and how I lived a broader life from then on.
Now that I have graduated, time flies so fast. Looking back on the past two years, I really feel warm and have gained a lot. I still remember that during the re-examination, it was during the epidemic and the exam could only be taken online. Anqing Normal University teacher made a special trip to my home to debug the equipment for me. After the results were released, the school leaders personally sent me an admission notice to congratulate me on being admitted.
I am very happy that except that the test paper is in Braille, other procedures are the same as ordinary students. When the results were announced, my name was with all the candidates. Before that, Anqing Normal University had never admitted a visually impaired graduate student. I was the first, but I blended in among all the students without any barriers or barriers. I attended classes and sang every day. I also participated in competitions and won some awards. Walking on campus, the wind blowing softly on your body, these moments are so precious.
Zhang Chen practices piano in the piano room of Anqing Normal University. Photo provided by the interviewee
I will return to Anqing Special Education School and continue to be a special education teacher. My husband used to work at the Dalian Training Base for Guide Dogs in China and was a dog trainer. We met because of the guide dog “fighter” (meaning “fighter”). In my second year of enrollment, he was also admitted to Anqing Normal University majoring in special education. After getting to know me, he seemed to have a "sense of mission" for special education and felt that more people needed to pay attention to and engage in special education.
Anqing Special Education School currently has nearly 70 teachers, including me, about one-tenth of whom are people with special disabilities. Looking back on when I was a student in a special education school, everything started from myself. But after becoming a teacher, the focus is on what students need. What they need is actually just like all ordinary people, to live, study, pursue dreams, and fall in love. They need complete equality, and they need to no longer be regarded as "troublesome" and "alien." It's not easy, but I believe that as long as I keep going, I will get there one day.
Beijing News reporter Xu Yang
editor Liu Qian proofread Liu Yue
